Wow

Been checking out the BAM website.. saw this year's 100plus Power National junior circuit's results.. particularly the U12 boys singles' results. The champ was my former training mate..

Well, even from the start of training last year that guy was good I must admit. Couldn't beat him, but at least I managed to give him a fight. In the beginning. Lol. But then he started to really really train, and his parents were there all the time. Then he started improving by leaps and bounds. But I never expected him to take the gold medal in the circuit so soon.. not finals(don't know whether grand finals done already or not cause I can't seem to find the results on it) yet, but for someone who started training intensively at age 11.. to shoot past those who have been training since 5, 6 years is amazing.

But I wonder if it is worth it.. maybe yes, if he makes it really big someday, which really requires a lot of hardwork + dedication + talent... but you always hear about these young people who do well until about age 18..19.. then slowly they start to decline. No, it's not the same for everyone, but look at the former junior world champions. When they get out of the 'junior' world they face the real big guns. I always did tell him to study hard last time.. I intend to find out his results for UPSR when it's out. He was hoping to enter BJSS next year.. don't know if he got it or not. *shrugs* Well, I can only wish him all the best in the badminton world. After all, the sports world is a tough world to be in. There can only be 1 champion, and being a runner-up is never the same. Someone told me before, "When you see the difference between the 1st prize and 2nd, you'd cry". Lol, I didn't cry, the 2nd prize was actually better in my opinion, but in the real sports world there is a difference. Not just a bag or a racquet.

Apart from that.. I'm sick. My body is protesting I guess... sleeping at 2am and waking at 5.45am the past few exam days... hahaha. Miserable time. I really detest being sick. I'd rather injuries like scrape knees, bruises or whatsoever. I'm talking like a duck now! =P

Exams.. have been.. well. Won't do as well as last term. But hey, I keep looking ahead at the bigger picture.. SPM next year. AHHHH! Well, no big deal actually. It's the results day that scare me. Haha. Plus I'm going to be 1 lost person floating around, not knowing what to do. A levels? Ausmat? Matric? Form 6? There are so many options.. no inkling on what to do.

Oh well. Still have time.

It's 1.45am now. Gonna hit the sack soon. Bye!

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Examssssss

Lets be honest. I gave up trying to study for this term. Hehe. Only concentrated on my fav. subjects, that is Econs, Geo and Accounts. Geo also hardly, just started studying last night at 10pm till 2am.

Too busy lah this term. Busy + lazy. Fine. =) I realise that I'm actually quite a lazy person. Hehe. Not in terms of lazing around.. I hardly laze around. I guess my mind is too lazy to actually think. Sigh. I only studied Geo last night till 2am cause the paper is today and it was quite fun. =) I don't mind a job that has something to do with Geography actually. Hehe.

Tomorrow PJK and History.. History I gave up already. After I sat for paper 2 last week.. Only a miracle can save my marks. Haha. So.. let go paper 1 also lah. PJK... hehe I will score an A. At the very worse, a B. =P Mind you, I have not touched my PJK text book for 4 years now! Good thing it mostly asks facts + parts of body(muscles).

Day after Econs. I plan to score for this paper =P. Beat my 91% last term. Last term was a mistake.. the 91%.. my teacher's fault.. he didn't tell that the essay part was slightly wrong.. ah long story lah. Don't bother. Anyway that mistake affected my marks a lot. I wrote 3 essays in 20 minutes. LOL!

Anyway, yeah, I'm letting this term slip past me. Being in 4 Mawar has that effect actually. Becoming lazy. Musn't be! Nah I was really busy this term. Prefect installation, PBSM installation, clubs and club stuff, camp... etc.

Oh! And my ko-kurikulum got the highest average ever! =P Thanks to PBSM(got a 58%, unbelievable eh?).. Well, I went for only 3 meetings.. haha. Amazing. I'd like to thank all the irresponsible people out there!

CF got a 71% and Badminton got a 68%. Not too bad I must say, because this year badminton marks was given honestly.. if you get what I mean.. usually I get an A.. this year I decided to give it to the honest teacher.. no, I wasn't feeling honest, I couldn't find Gurcharan, and my other teacher advisor asked me for my ko-ko form. I had no choice but to surrender it to her.. with the condition she didn't give me too low marks. =D

So.. (58%+68%+71%) and divide it by 3... don't forget my free 7 bonus marks for serving the school as a (useless)prefect! =)

Hmm.. anymore crap? Plenty, but.. irrelevant.

Oh yeah. Another thing. My shoulder seems to be getting stronger after such a long time. =) Used to ache a few days after training, especially if I did push ups, but recently it has been okay.. no more aches for a couple of weeks now. =)

Well, anyway. I'm gonna die soon. Yes, physically die. Not never study so "Die!" kind of die. Hehe. Why? Been sleeping at about 2am the past few days.. Why? Because I start studying/covering the whole year's syllabus in 1 day, the day before a specific paper. For many subjects. Some I started earlier. Hehe. Not that bad yet.

Thinking of learning squash.. since I cut down badminton.. life has been torturous.. I lead a pretty boring life since then. Haiz. Want to find a group to play with also hard.. for reasons I shall not state.

So.. I don't know. I may just decide to learn squash.

Gah. Okay.. going offfff now. Lately nothing to do online. That's the problem with Streamyx.. use too much at first then you feel as if you've enough internet to last a lifetime.

Byeeee!

Taman Megah training

Training today was not too bad.. quite fun. Well partly because it wasn't the usual run-as-many-rounds-as-possible in 10 minutes in the beginning. It was just run-as-fast-as-possible 1 round, taking turns. So I still breathing normally lah after that. I mean, sure, I like running.. but I prefer to do it fast, and covering whatever distance I'm supposed to, not just go on and on and on in a time period. Gets kinda boring.. lol. There's like, no goal, just waiting for time to pass.

Then the coaches did the 'lat'?? Don't know what it's called.. then the coach that won was so happified and said, "Joanne!" Fine. Whatever.

Later on ask us to play games.. so yeah lah.. I played.. enjoyable. Friendly game only mah.. cut down on smashes, do more lobs today.. a couple of games I meant to win 21-19.. you know, at least it was a 'close' game.. so I walked lah. Today not jumping around the court. Haha. After a while life gets boring you know.. must slow down the game a lot. I brought them too far and lost. But no big deal right.. friendly match only.

Haha. Or so I thought. Turns out we were actually in teams.. I was supposed to win all my games. *shrugs* I told them to say that in the future.. never tell that we're supposed to win.. it was a tie. Lol. One coach went, "You thought friendly match only ah??!" Knowing me.. I gave that stupified smile and said, "Yeah."

Well.. I suppose in my old coaching place this would never happen.. me playing walking games. My old coach always wanted me to be serious, no smiles and jokes.. like a tournament. Gah. I can only perform my best in.. well, tournaments. Haha. In tournaments I'm a totally different person.. only the occasional apologetic smile like when I smash people.. but training.. training is the place to play mah. =)

Which is why I'm rather pleased with Megah's training. It allows me to fool around a lot. Hehe. Running no need to run my best.. just.. well, enough to please the coaches. Playing.. I have fun, can already. Besides, in Megah now not so much fight.. so yeah, I admit I've slowed down a lot.. doubt I'm improving at all. Truth be said, if I remain exactly like where I was in my previous training without dropping I'd be superbly happy already.

Oh yeah. Not to mention no more injuries. =D

There's only one problem. I don't get enough badminton! It used to be every other day.. wah now wait 1 whole week for the next session.. can die lah. I really need to find a group to play with already.

Been thinking.. it was really an amazing journey last year.. the titles I won.. the occasional upsets I caused.. 1 scene I still remember.. all my training mates rushing in the court to hug me after I beat a player I was expected to lose to in a 3rd game. That feeling.. wow. The disappointments in losing.. the awesome feeling of becoming the champ.. breaking a record by entering 4 finals in a tournament.. being known as Lim Ee Wei in most tournaments because my coach never got it into his head that 'Joanne' was in my birth cert.

Really past all that now.. now I'm just another social player.. join only the occasional tournament..

Well, so many factors.. and the reason I give most people who bother to ask is the least of it. I said they moved to Kepong. But there are so many other reasons.. afterall I have no problem about Kepong.. they provide transport mah. It was my shoulder, my wrist, my studies, my parents, myself, my life...

I had no idea how far my coaches wanted to bring me.. I think as far as I could go. My improvement that 1 year was by leaps and bounds. But.. well..

Anyway, yeah I enjoy Megah's training now.. no pressure, fun.. hahaha my old form is rarely seen. Except maybe just as glimpse in the MBA friendly match. Maybe more if it hadn't been 15 points without service. Hahaha!

Yep yep yep. Life is good.

God bless ya all!

MBA Friendly Match

Yesterday went for the MBA friendly match.. Taman Megah branch MBA students against Puchong branch students.

How did it go? I was in Team A.. played in teams.. 1st and 2nd singles were advance players, 3rd and 4th singles were intermediate, 1st doubles was advance + intermediate, 2nd doubles advance + beginner, 3rd doubles was advance + advance.

The 1st two teams we played against were easy.. small kids lah. I doubt they even had enough advance players in their teams. Don't know why Puchong coach arrange so weird one. We won 7-0, 4-0(Once we won 4 they stopped us from playing, no time). 1st match we played 21 points with service. Took too much time I think, my team finished the earliest lah but the rest were still playing. So they decided that they had to cut down to 15 points NO service, ONE set. Miserable right? The games after that over so fast! Hardly any time to get warmed up even. And you know me lah.. always get slow starts.. this new system is not good for me.. everytime opponents get about 4 to 5 points before I really buck up.

Hehe anyway, yeah we entered semi finals. And met a team that seem to consist of so many advance players! Even their so called 'intermediate' players played very well, and were even better than some of our advance players!

And I played 2nd singles.. against an Indian guy 2 heads taller than me. That guy has the fastest smash I've ever encountered! Amazing. I lost 13-15.. but if there had been service or at least until 21 points.. I daresay the game could have been different. I hardly even had time to read his game. Hehe.

Well, then I played 1st doubles.. they won 3 singles games by then. so they needed only 1 more. I partnered quite a good player for doubles.. managed to beat the other team.. I was always wondering whether I could beat that girl.. never had the chance to play against her before you see. Somehow our names are always on the opposite ends of the draw and we tend to be knocked out by stronger players before getting to meet each other. But I enjoyed that game a lot. Cause the girl was attempting to cover her partner and I just pushed her around.. smashed into empty places.. etc.

Anyway, we won our 2nd doubles too.. and managed to push it into the deciding match. But that one we lost..

So that team emerged as champions.. no time to play off the finals, someone just decided to make them the winners. Kinda unfair.. but I guess we were really out of time.

Overall.. not very satisfying lah. 15 points no service.. the games are over so super fast. Haiz.

Hate the new system. No more suspense when you reach the game/match point.

Anyway, reached Megah at about 6.30pm.. met a schoolmate there.. he invited me to play with him.. so I played lah. Played about 20 minutes then stopped.

Not too bad a day lah. =)

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Since I've entered Arts stream...

Well, nowadays whenever I enter a pure science class, particularly 4A, 4B, and 4C, I feel like.. the prodigal son returning home. Lol. I really feel comfortable.

But.. I've left them too long. To most, I'm just a person they used to know.. from friends who talk a lot to friends who are 'hi and bye'. Not that I mind.. all this while I've been following the plan mah. But it's weird right.. how fast you can be forgotten. Or maybe 8 months is too long.

Yes, I knew all these would happen when I chose my class. Sometimes.. you just wish it was back to the old times...

Actually I've heard of a few people who want to change to arts.. but pride, parents, friends etc.. you know the usual story. I'm pretty sure if pure science was not hyped up that much.. well, there will be more people out there doing subjects they actually enjoy. But.. with technology advancing more and more.. of course must be science science science mah. Oh, don't forgot the ego part. Lol. Some are like, me? ARTS?! Our poor egos would be bruised! Lol. And of course... the one that afflicts most people.. apart from pride.. parents. You know how parents just wish their kids would take over their footsteps.. or do even better... doctor.. engineer.. etc.

I suppose I'm no one to judge.. but the few of us in arts stream always well.. debate with those who are 'living out their parents' dreams'. Whose life is it after we graduate? Who's gonna be working a job they hate all because of their parents? Sure, we owe our parents.. but to choose a career we can never learn to enjoy? *shrugs* I'm sure parents would love to see their children happy in the future.. not constantly coming home frustrated.

Just some thoughts.

Anyway, aside from that.. my life has calmed down a lot these few days already. It's a relief. Today's the last day I'll have to do anything with PBSM =) Just went out for the dinner.. that was so expensive.. madness. I really hated forcing myself to go for the meetings.. but if I didn't.. there is just a sense of responsibility that will nudge me. *phew* Anyway, it's all over and done with. As Pilate said, "I wash my hands." Hehe. Enough is enough. Now just let me serve in what I love.

I realise that many things I do is just to satisfy myself. Hehe. Sports.. like my teacher told me she made me the 'pengurus pasukan' of the badminton team for yellow house just for the gerko points. I told her no point.. for my gerko points I take from badminton team. But she said nevermind lah since I did all the work already. So.. ok lah I just take it.

Then studies.. for fun only lah.. if I don't get a scholarship I want I'll just go form 6.. after all, one of my fav. sayings is, "I can do anything that requires hard work.. but if it requires skills that I lack.." So hard work in form 6 is absolutely no problem. But if I'm needed elsewhere.. I'll pack up my tent and shift. Hehe.

Arrrgh

I'm feeling more and more and more pressure now. Everything is piling up even my shoulder's hurting!

HELP!!!!!

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Arrrgh

Sorry have to rant already.

GERAM!

You all won't know who but that's all for the better.

He won't let others help my department! Got problem with helping?? We are SUPPOSED to help others! Gah I cannot stand it. This is too much man. At least take it out on me, not my assistant!

So we don't help others to clean lah.. don't help others to collect money lah.. illogical.

My worst fear is that he becomes the next president. *shudders*


No mood now.

I'm hoping to be able to help my friends see the light in the next two years. The more see, the better. But how? I ask myself. How???

Do I just live my life without using words? I've never been one to speak well.. writing yes, but not speaking.

I'm rather afraid I'm making myself enemies actually. Especially with my results for the 1st term.. people would love to say I study all the time, 24/7.. to justify my results. But then they see me always running around in school doing club stuff. Then representing school for badminton. Being able to hit the farthest for softball in pe class. Goes out to shopping malls at least 3 times a week. *Crash* Their 24/7 studying nerd profile of me is gone. The know-nothing-do-nothing-but-study idea about me dies away.

Thus I'm afraid they will turn to hatred instead. Arrgh.

How do I show them when I am not even sure how and why?

Perhaps the only reason they treat me nicely is because I hold the answers to all their questions.. literally. My books are the most popular items in class when homework is due.

Answer me...

Forgive me.. pride will be my downfall..

Yours,
The know-nothing-egoistic-fool

Been super long since I last blogged I think. Been itching to talk about many things but never found the time to.

You know what? Now that I finally have to time to complain about stuff.. I have nothing to talk about.

Well...

I did quite well for exams, only Moral spoiled my straight A streak.. sadly, not all straight 1As though.. BM and Math 2A. Nonetheless, I'm pretty happy with this term's results, and to those of you curious people out there, I still do not regret my choice of being in 4 Mawar. =)

I was pretty surprised actually, cause most people, and teachers especially always expect form 4s to do poorly in the 1st term. Naturally I too expected not to do too well, new format and all. With God's wonderful grace, I actually ended up with marks higher than my previous years in SMK Taman SEA! =) I mean, wow, one would expect me to drop in form 4... it's form 4 man, not standard 4. But somehow something in me stirred this year.. and everytime I do something, I think, "Do it with all your mind, soul and heart... or don't do it at all." So.. well, whatever responsibility I'm given and in everything I do, I throw myself into it with passion.

It's hard.. especially the studying part. Before this I only studied last minute.. I always told myself that the real thing matters in form 4.. haha. I blogged this before. But yeah, it's true. I never dreamt I would ACTUALLY start working hard in form 4, but like I said, something stirred within me.. It is rather taxing to keep up with badminton, studies, clubs and sports.. but I find myself happier and more at peace than ever before. Do you wonder why? I don't. Hehehe.

In fact, the past few days, I've been extremely happy for no particular reason. I realised.. if I get sacked from the prefect board.. if all my friends threw me away.. I somehow doubt that would have been taken away. Nope.

Just want to end this blog with the lyrics of "Making a difference".

Won’t You Lord
Take a look at our hands
Everything we have
Use it for Your plan
Won’t you Lord
Take a look at our hearts
Mould it, refine it, as you set us apart

We want to run to the altar
And catch the fire, to stand in the gap
Between the living and the dead
Give us a heart of compassion
For a world without vision
We will make a difference
Bringing hope …
To our land

We will answer the call
To build this church without walls
Let your glory be shown
Bring salvation to the lost, to the lost …

We will make a difference (3X)
Bringing hope…
To our land (4X)

Exhausted

Lost plenty of sleep over the past few weeks. Exams lah what else.

Should be asleep now but decide to blog abit.

Doing quite okay in exams lah can actually do better but had to train for MSSD mah and had MSSD before exams started. How to study much during then? Why do you think I lost so much sleep.. not enough time for some subjects.

Don't regret stopping my 3 times a week training. It instilled in me strong self-discipline though, to go on when you're tired. Must admit my game has dropped drastically since I stopped, but I decided to train for fun, not for my future.

This year I decided, either I go all out, or nothing at all. Do it with your whole mind, heart and soul right? So yeah.. The 3 times a week training forced me to relax slightly on my studies last year, was still going for a tournament last year before PMR I remember. Lol.

But hey, my years of playing around are done with. Next year is THE year.. People are asking me why I work so much harder this year.. this year is the year I decide to be serious mah. Before this I was super relax one.. study in front of Thomas Cup.. still attend training and tire myself out. Can't say I regret it. I don't regret what I've done.. let bygones be bygones.

That's the way, isn't it? Fool around for 14 years, and get serious when it matters. This is when the self-discipline I acquired from badminton training takes place. The ability to sit down and study. Hahaha! I can't stand sitting still for long, I usually MUST keep moving.. except when I'm overly tired/sick.

But those who can sit down and study for many hours are really good. Lol. Doing work the entire day! A whole day of badminton won't tire me out, but studying 2 hours will put me to sleep, will be mentally exhausted. Not a good thing eh. Haha it's okay, I've accepted it.. I've taken a test before that shows I am an athelete.. not the study and sit down kind of person. But no matter how excellent I may be in a sport, any sport, this world still looks at your academic results. Sad thing right?

I mean, when you do well in a sport, people will be like, "Oh, that girl ah! Sure academic results lousy one lah train so much!" whereas professors and phD holders are looked upon with respect, no matter how little he/she excels in any other field.

Will blog more later, extremely tired lately.

Goodnight all.

Back..

Been 3 months since I last blogged. Hardly been online actually, with clubs and badminton and mssd and now exams.

Well, MSSD I made it till 3rd round in doubles, and met the top seed in Quarters for singles.. soo..

Rather disappointing, I go in with a target everytime but always get stopped by a state player in quarters. Always wish for other quarter finalists.. but.. hey, that's life.

Anyway, didn't go to school today, no paper today.

Will have 6 days of exam in a row next week, Monday till Saturday. Yes, Saturday, 20th of May 2006. Sad right? At least it's the last day.

Till the next time I have to time to blog,

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

What kind of leader am I? and more

A kind that induces others to follow.

IF I can even be labelled a 'leader'. Most people's impressions of leaders are: take-charge kind, obstinate, dominant, etc.

So.. I definitely DO NOT have these characteristics. Rather, I like to hear the opinion of others, those under me. Even in primary school when I was the group leader in the prefect board, I always let those under me pick the places they wanted to perform their duty at. It worked well, because they knew if they were late they would have to settle for a duty they may dislike. I usually took the duty no one chose. It worked fine with me, I could never feel comfortable if I picked the nicest duty and gave the others duties that they would be unhappy with.

But of course there are some who sneer at me for doing that.. for allowing those under me to have a choice. "Then why are you in charge of them??" is the usual question. *Shrugs* I am just not meant to order others around. Live with it. If I did something without the opinion of others and it made them angry, I'll be pretty unhappy and feeling selfish.

Someone once mentioned that I always back down in arguements. I didn't defend myself then.. it is true. Why?

Lol. Stupid as the reason may sound, I don't have that 'obstinate' and 'I am 200% right' voice. I've tried it before, but never could master it. Haha! So.. I usually wait for the 'obstinate' voice to quieten down before giving my opinion.. which usually start these kind of people off again. Lol! Precisely why I dislike arguements and quarrels as I'm too quiet to ever win one, unless the person is a level-headed person who is willing to debate about it WIHOUT the raising of voices.

Proverbs 12:18 mentions that rash words are like sword thrusts, but the words of the wise bring healing.

How true, isn't it? How often have we uttered words in a rage that have hurt others, like 'sword thrusts'? Trust me, these rash words that we utter hurt people deeper than any physical wound. A physical wound can heal, but a wounded heart? Only a forgiving person could forgive you for it.. and even that it will never be completely healed.

Or how often have we spoken without thinking? I can name you countless times I've regretted letting my tongue go, and also the number of times when I am relieved I kept my trap shut instead of blurting out angrily. Lately I've been controlling myself more, it's way easier than feeling guilty over it later. And also because Psalms and Proverbs mention that harsh words cause strife one way or other.

I have always been a cautious person, something that carefree people don't like, but.. I guess it's part of me. You have to learn how to be cautious after walking home alone for years, to enter an empty house.. and especially after seeing flashers. The one thing I haven't met yet is snatch thieves, and of course, I don't ever want to meet one. I always glance warily at motorbikes that are around me, and usually step aside to let them pass by me first. I'm more comfortable with motorbikes riding ahead of me rather than behind me. And cars that slow down while I am walking.. I too let these cars pass by before I continue walking. When walking towards deserted places, I attempt to walk behind a few women.. usually there are. LRT station mah. I choose main roads instead of lanes.

Anger is something I try my best not to harbour in my heart. But I'm also human.. how much can I take? Usually after a few talks I feel better though. But there are people out there still attempting to take advantage of me.. not taking advantage of my resources, but my patience. I know people think my patience is unlimited.. that they can abuse me verbally as much as they want without me getting angry.. *shrugs* I don't usually express my anger openly though, I don't ever want people to know that they've hurt me just because I tell them. I prefer people to realise.. of course, many times these kind of people are too hard-headed and hard-hearted to realise ANYTHING. Everything about them is perfect mah.. So I usually just withdraw myself.. keep my big mouth shut.

Just needed to rant a bit. Not very happy over some things.. so I needed to write my thoughts out. Just the surface lah.. if I were to post deeper stuff I'll have no secrets for myself already. Oh yeah, trust me. This is just the uppermost surface. Some of you may be able to read in between the lines.. but frankly, please don't. You may not like what you read in between the lines.



God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

??

I got the answer.

But..

Without the blessing.

Arrgh. When the sky was black, people wanted it blue. When the sky was blue, people wanted it black.

What can I do now?? I want it BLUE!!!!!!!

=(

Anyway, that's just some small rant that you need not understand at all.

Life is hectic, but super enjoyable. So far.

Don't know how God does things, but He truly works wonders =)

Who would have thought I would get the post in the History & Geography club when there were 3 other upper sixers standing for it? Activity director.. whatever that means.. I'm still puzzled over who could have possibly voted for me. Like I said, an unseen force =)

There are so few girls in the badminton club and yet we girls are expected to do all the paperwork! It's pretty sexist I must admit... Lol some of it is fun though.

Got full marks for Economy =D 25/25.. Geography got 22/25.. misunderstood the question.. Lol. History, Math and Science next week. I expect to do so-so for History and Science, provided I study. They ain't exactly my favourite subjects you know. I prefer English, Geography, Economy and Accounts. lol.

As for Math.. well.. barely scraping through.. beginning to wonder how I am going to get that 1 in SPM.. gonna require A LOT of hard work man. ARRGH! QUADRATIC EQUATIONS!

Thank God I'm not taking Add Math.. if I was I think I'll just curl up and die like an earthworm that has been stomped on. Everything about Add Math is quadratic equations! It's as if some demented scientist mixed up his alphabets and numbers together like a small kid.. and drew some of the numbers extra small next to numbers/alphabets. Lol.

Off now. At peace and rejoicing now =)

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Where am I heading?

Today is a 'search yourself' kind of post. In this case, search MYSELF.

What am I suppose to do with life?

I injured my wrist.

I wonder if I can still play badminton. Yeah, it's pretty serious this time. Someone decided to lay the ultimatum on me I guess.

But do I have a right to be sad?? It's not MY choice anymore!

At time like these.. the song 'No way out' by Phil Collins seems right.


Everywhere I turn, I hurt someone
But there's nothing I can say
to change the things I've done
I'd do anything within my power
I'd give everything I've got
But the path I seek is hidden
from me now

Brother Bear, I let you down
You trusted me, believed in me
and I let you down
Of all the things I hid from you
I cannot hide the shame
And I pray someone, something will
come, to take away the pain

There's no way out of this dark place
No hope and no future
I know I can't be free
But I can't see another way
I can't face another day

Life is been busy busy busy.

Without badminton it'll be wayy less busy.

Another hint?

Arrgh. What do I do?

I'm positive I had way more to post. Oh well.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Form 4..

Yep. Love it!!! Seriously. I think I'll really enjoy my next 2 years here. Right in 4 Mawar. =)

Subjects are.. well, understandable. Modern Math is not-so-good, but hey, that's about all I'll have to bear. So far Econs and Geo have been nice, and Accounts.. is slightly confusing, but I'll learn.

History is boring though. =( But I decided to start looking at it in a more positive light. Lets see how it turns out, shall we?

Still have to answer the 'whys' and 'how could yous' etc about entering Arts stream.

And of course, I know some people have the impression that I'm 'cowardly' for choosing Arts. Apparently I'm 'afraid' of Pure Science. Hahaha!

Well, truth of the matter is, I know myself best. I know what I can handle, and what I can't. No point struggling 2 years in Pure Science and coming out with results that I'm unhappy with, right?

And yeah, well, I have absolutely no regrets as I said before. This one God truly helped me =)

Of course, some people told me positive comments.. going against what everyone thinks... straight As means must enter Science stream. =) Again, I did not do this to go against the flow. If anything, going with the general opinion of others would have saved me so much trouble and time. And I wouldn't have to answer sooo many questions.

But I am following my heart. I don't ever want to look back 20 years from now, and curse a decision that I made just because I wanted to listen to others.

Yep. Hope that everyone will learn to accept my decision. Just glad that my family is backing me on this, not all, but most. =)

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Disorder:	High
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

3 Birthday Cakes-For 1 birthday

Yes, I had 3 birthday cakes. Lol.

On the 10th Jan, a few youth fellows came over and really surprised me. When I went downstairs they started singing 'Happy Birthday' and there were candles on the cake. Was really surprised man.. I was not expecting it AT ALL. Good thing I was dressed pretty decently.. won't want them seeing me in some pyjamas looking clothes. =P

On the 11th Jan, I skipped training cause my shoulder was kind of injured. But I was called up and told to go to the hall at 6pm for a 'surprise'. So I went.. I expected a present or something like that.. instead I got a cake! Again, I was quite surprised. Because as far as I thought, birthday cakes were only reserved for coaches, and I am but a trainee there. Still, it was a pleasant surprise. =)

On the 12th Jan.. finally, my 15th birthday.. guess what?

I didn't get any cake. Just hugs and wishes and songs from school friends. Hahaha. I'm pretty touched that they actually remembered my birthday.. cause I don't. *embarrassed* I will make it a point to remember my friends' birthdays from now on.

On the 13th Jan.. I got another cake! With an elephant on it.. the trunk holding a racquet and attempting to hit a shuttlecock. Lol! Nice cake though. This time from school friends. Was quite embarrassing though.. they had it in the school canteen after school.. they started singing and about 3/4 of the people in the canteen joined in. Sounded like 3/4 of them anyway, was very loud. Saw many of my friends, not close friends, but nonetheless still my friends singing. My friends couldn't light the candles though, they didn't know how to use the poker. HAhaha! I showed a couple how to after that. =P

So yeah, I had cakes from the people of 3 different parts of my life.. youth group, badminton group, and school friends. A book from Janice, a pair of earrings from Su Faye, a card from Natalie, and a t-shirt from CP. All came on different days. Lol.

There must be SOMETHING special about my 15th birthday. Who ever heard of THREE birthday cakes for ONE birthday person?? Maybe for someone else.. someone special, or popular.. but definitely not someone like me.

Oh. Not to mention that I kinda of injured my shoulder the day before my birthday. Yep. That was my present for myself I guess. =(

But yeah, I'm really thankful for such caring friends.. though I'm not one myself. Perhaps this was supposed to tell me to buck up and start caring for them. As far as I know, I hardly view birthdays as an important event. Maybe it's time I change that notion.

I know what I really want for my birthday though. Hehe. Think I'll have to buy that for myself when I'm living on my own(seeing noone else will get it for me). =D Looking forward to that day!

Thank You God,
Joanne

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Revelations.

Yes, to those of you who are wondering, I survived my 1st 2 days in the Arts class. Why do some of you say the word 'Arts' like it's a dirty word??

In fact, I am super duper glad I made this choice. Honestly. Not once did I feel that I made the wrong choice. 1stly, my classmates aren't that bad.. good in fact. 23 girls and 14 boys. Lol.

And 2ndly, I saw the Pure Science class that I would have been dumped in. More accurately, I saw who the PUPILS are.

Woweee. SCARY. That's all. ALL straight A students, or 7 A(those who took 8 subjects) students packed into 2 classes. Goodness me. Wow. Imagine, that could be ME. ME!

*shudders* No thank you man. I enjoyed my 1st 3 years in Taman SEA because... ;-)

I did mention before that if my marks for Mathematics had been a 90+ like sooo many others in the PMR trials, my position would have been in the top 3? But no.. I barely scrapped by with an A.

Yep. God made the right choice. He really gives best to those who leave the choice to Him. =) Weird as it may sound, I believe that He intervened with choice of pupils in my class. I saw the sub Science classes. I was kind of worried then, cause I was thinking, "Man, if the sub Science pupils are already like THAT(notorious guys in there), what about MY class??

But yep. God truly answered my prayer. Even some of the so-called 'naughtier' boys haven't caused any trouble.. yet. But after all God has done, I believe He will continue working on them. They were pretty good, all sitting in their places although there was no teacher in class during some periods.

And yeah, as my title says..

I realised many things.

As most of you probably know, I have always been in the top class(not to boast or anything). Even when I was placed in the 2nd class in standard 5 along with all the other express kids, the 2nd class results proved to be fantastic. We even broke a record by pushing out 16 students from the top class in year 6, taking their places instead!

So.. I realised that pupils in the top classes have an 'air' of their own.

Guess what? I was the biggest air head. Totally. My perception of those who were not in one of the top 4 classes was really an arrogant and obnoxious one.

I thought they were a bunch of people who are lazy to study, naughty etc.

How wrong I was. I realised that some of them work very very hard, much much harder than me, and most work pretty hard. Everyone just has a different set of skills I realised. Some excel totally in sports.. some art.. some music..

Then I realised.. results aren't everything. These people have dreams too. They intend to work for it.. not fool around as I thought they would.

I also realised that most of them are AFRAID to enter the 'higher class'. The top classes. Makes you wonder why they're afraid to enter a supposedly 'good' class eh?

Yes. Indeed. In 2 days I had plenty of revelations. And absolutely NO regrets. Made a new friend too. Who shares the same ambition with me =D

Soo...

I want to thank God! Thanks sooo much Lord! =) =) =)

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

My fantastic day totally punctured. Deflated. Gone. No more. Nil.

Noooo!

Just found out that a friend of mine is leaving for New Zealand in Feb.

:'-(

Arrrgh. Why why why why??!

What's wrong with Malaysia??

Why leave EVERYTHING including family to go somewhere else??

I'm upset. Yeah. Seriously. SUPER upset. ARRGH.

This hurts man. Seriously it HURTS. Painfully so.

=(

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk