But I won! =)
I lost all my matches in this entire tournament.
But I got the bronze!
LOL. Tis good to join a government-sponsored tournament(Rakan Muda) like this one, although they don't have enough players for a proper category they still proceed with the event, the funds are there, they don't worry about losing money.
I received walkovers all the way into semis.
And got thrashed in semis.
*sigh*
Disappointed over my game. State players or not, I played an exceptionally POOR game, seriously. So... arrrrrrgh.
I can't keep up with the new batch of players already lah. Having restarted training after so many months of non-playing, and not even intensive training, I've fallen too far back. Yeah sure, the strokes are still there, but stamina and speed is gone. The current batch of players train the way I used to, at least 3 times a week on court, and their own training outside court on the other days. And here I was, foolishly thinking I could keep up with them. Hah.
I think I shall stick to inter-school tournaments from now onwards. Haha. At least, until I quit competitive badminton. This tournament is just a bleak reminder of how far my game has degenerated.
Prize giving at 3pm, to go or not to go...
God bless,
Jo
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
I dunno....
Maybe I am bipolar after all.
Or maybe it's all the turmoil that's messing my head and emotions up.
Feeling pretty upset right now. =( Bro's away so I've no one to tell save for this blog. Which means I've got to keep it all abstract and confusing. *sigh*
Anyway, I'm just tired and upset lah. I'm fiercely protective of my family, and I detest people who try to hurt any of us.
I started reading the book of Job recently. It's as if my current life is just reliving Job's life, except that I'm not playing the role of Job. But it's exactly the same. God gave permission to satan to test Job. Again, a reminder that satan was given permission in this, not that satan wrenched control from God suddenly.
However, it was the part of Job's 3 friends judging him that really struck a chord in me. Sure, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar went to visit Job with the intention of comforting Job. But did they?
Honestly, I feel that what those 3 friends did was satan-sent. Just another trial for Job to overcome. He did a remarkable job overcoming it anyway, I'll really like to meet this guy someday. I still boil over judgements that Job probably heard.
What did those 3 friends do? They judged Job and told him that his condition was because of his lifestyle, and his sinful ways. Of course, this was not true, but hey, when people have made up their minds and have their hearts and minds blinded, no one can change their minds.
I don't know lah. This world is hurling darts at me faster than I can duck, and they are starting to hit me everywhere. It's no wonder I keep trying to escape everything through Kiwanis, badminton, going out, but when I'm alone it all overwhelms me again.
*sigh*
I'm being hardened more and more. And I don't want to be. =(
I really don't know why, sometimes.
Lord? Why didn't you give me one of those fairy-tale families where mom and dad are there for everything and the kids just have to worry about themselves? I can choose any career I want, without worrying about them?
Worst part is, it almost seems as if my brothers and sisters in Christ are the ones who are the most judgmental(apart from one amazing teacher). Being blessed enough to have perfect lives isn't enough for most, apparently. The ones reaching out to me are actually non-Christians! Maybe because their lives weren't that blessed so they understand my situation more. I dunno. My only rationale explanation. In some Christians you can even hear the gleeful "I told you so!" in their tones and they just vomit out their judgments on why things are the way it is.
And I actually wonder why non-Christians don't want to become Christians. You ask me honestly lah, I don't mind not going to church anymore if Christians are all like that. I'll keep my faith, I'll cling to God. But to mix with believers who are pompous and self-righteous? No way.
Heck, I'd prefer it if people just keep quiet and pretend as if life is all normal, instead of hurting me.
If I ever get married, this is my warning to my future husband:
This is me, broken, beaten, struck down, rejected, hurt, upset, a failure. I can't assure you I'll ever pick myself up, so you had better think twice before committing yourself into a marriage with me.
Life hurts.
Or maybe it's all the turmoil that's messing my head and emotions up.
Feeling pretty upset right now. =( Bro's away so I've no one to tell save for this blog. Which means I've got to keep it all abstract and confusing. *sigh*
Anyway, I'm just tired and upset lah. I'm fiercely protective of my family, and I detest people who try to hurt any of us.
I started reading the book of Job recently. It's as if my current life is just reliving Job's life, except that I'm not playing the role of Job. But it's exactly the same. God gave permission to satan to test Job. Again, a reminder that satan was given permission in this, not that satan wrenched control from God suddenly.
However, it was the part of Job's 3 friends judging him that really struck a chord in me. Sure, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar went to visit Job with the intention of comforting Job. But did they?
Honestly, I feel that what those 3 friends did was satan-sent. Just another trial for Job to overcome. He did a remarkable job overcoming it anyway, I'll really like to meet this guy someday. I still boil over judgements that Job probably heard.
What did those 3 friends do? They judged Job and told him that his condition was because of his lifestyle, and his sinful ways. Of course, this was not true, but hey, when people have made up their minds and have their hearts and minds blinded, no one can change their minds.
I don't know lah. This world is hurling darts at me faster than I can duck, and they are starting to hit me everywhere. It's no wonder I keep trying to escape everything through Kiwanis, badminton, going out, but when I'm alone it all overwhelms me again.
*sigh*
I'm being hardened more and more. And I don't want to be. =(
I really don't know why, sometimes.
Lord? Why didn't you give me one of those fairy-tale families where mom and dad are there for everything and the kids just have to worry about themselves? I can choose any career I want, without worrying about them?
Worst part is, it almost seems as if my brothers and sisters in Christ are the ones who are the most judgmental(apart from one amazing teacher). Being blessed enough to have perfect lives isn't enough for most, apparently. The ones reaching out to me are actually non-Christians! Maybe because their lives weren't that blessed so they understand my situation more. I dunno. My only rationale explanation. In some Christians you can even hear the gleeful "I told you so!" in their tones and they just vomit out their judgments on why things are the way it is.
And I actually wonder why non-Christians don't want to become Christians. You ask me honestly lah, I don't mind not going to church anymore if Christians are all like that. I'll keep my faith, I'll cling to God. But to mix with believers who are pompous and self-righteous? No way.
Heck, I'd prefer it if people just keep quiet and pretend as if life is all normal, instead of hurting me.
If I ever get married, this is my warning to my future husband:
This is me, broken, beaten, struck down, rejected, hurt, upset, a failure. I can't assure you I'll ever pick myself up, so you had better think twice before committing yourself into a marriage with me.
Life hurts.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Tournaments, shoulder injuries, camps...
Yeah well. I'm joining two tournaments(so far) this long break. 21-23 Nov and 11-14th Dec. =)
Now lets just hope my shoulder doesn't hamper me. =(
Haha. I'll probably just rest rest rest after the 2nd tournament, apart from the once a week training. Need to recover lah.
And I'm going for a 2 day 1 night camp tomorrow. In Kuala Selangor. A couple of classmates came into class today and started asking for more people to attend this 'Lembaga Ketua Tingkatan' camp, they had space for 7 more. So I said I'll go lor. =) Hahaha. Sorry lah, I've been camp deprived since last year's CF camp ok.. That's practically a year and a half ago! Haha. Looking at the weather these few days I don't know if the main point of making the trip there(I'm assuming to see the fireflies, that's what it's famous for) will be achieved. Haha. But since I've seen the fireflies before I'll just enjoy this camp lah. =) It's one of the 'comfort zone' camps that I've rarely attended. The schedule is so relaxed, we're not cooking our own food, we're not sleeping in tents, it's actually just like a day trip but overnight prolly just to watch the fireflies.
Then Sayang Camp 15-16 Dec. Right after my tournament(provided I last till final day). =)
Will be helping out in Kiwanis for one of their events next week, Monday to Thursday. I'll help on Friday too except for the fact that my tournament starts then.
I'm beginning to feel the panic button light up. I NEED TO START STUDYING!!! =(
Will do it.
Soon.... =P
God bless,
Jo
Now lets just hope my shoulder doesn't hamper me. =(
Haha. I'll probably just rest rest rest after the 2nd tournament, apart from the once a week training. Need to recover lah.
And I'm going for a 2 day 1 night camp tomorrow. In Kuala Selangor. A couple of classmates came into class today and started asking for more people to attend this 'Lembaga Ketua Tingkatan' camp, they had space for 7 more. So I said I'll go lor. =) Hahaha. Sorry lah, I've been camp deprived since last year's CF camp ok.. That's practically a year and a half ago! Haha. Looking at the weather these few days I don't know if the main point of making the trip there(I'm assuming to see the fireflies, that's what it's famous for) will be achieved. Haha. But since I've seen the fireflies before I'll just enjoy this camp lah. =) It's one of the 'comfort zone' camps that I've rarely attended. The schedule is so relaxed, we're not cooking our own food, we're not sleeping in tents, it's actually just like a day trip but overnight prolly just to watch the fireflies.
Then Sayang Camp 15-16 Dec. Right after my tournament(provided I last till final day). =)
Will be helping out in Kiwanis for one of their events next week, Monday to Thursday. I'll help on Friday too except for the fact that my tournament starts then.
I'm beginning to feel the panic button light up. I NEED TO START STUDYING!!! =(
Will do it.
Soon.... =P
God bless,
Jo
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
=)
First of all, I'm not bipolar. At least, I don't think I am. It so happens that I sometimes blog when I'm over the moon, or just plain down. =P
Anyway, yeah, if I'm bipolar, today is the good day. Hahaha.
I found out that I can start up a special education centre/school with funding from our beloved government. That was my initial worry when I came up with the idea.
Great, that's one hitch settled.
Now.. teachers? Don't need to be overqualified people. Just a short course or diploma etc in it to start off. The heart and interest is the most important.
If you're reading this and you're interested do tell me ya. You'll have to wait till I'm done with my studies though. =P Few years time. Enough time to see if this idea is a feasible idea, and to work out the many hitches I'm bound to encounter along the way. And of course, to seek out God's will in this. =)
Till then, keep this in mind! This idea has been brewing for quite a while already. I've always thought about it, but always dismissed the idea as impossible. But lately, pondering over my future, and what I really want to do.. well, this is what I want to do.
However, I may be a special ed teacher in a school first.. I really don't know. After this year, I learnt my lesson about planning far into the future. So I'm taking things one step at a time, and leaving the rest to God.
=) God bless!
Jo
Anyway, yeah, if I'm bipolar, today is the good day. Hahaha.
I found out that I can start up a special education centre/school with funding from our beloved government. That was my initial worry when I came up with the idea.
Great, that's one hitch settled.
Now.. teachers? Don't need to be overqualified people. Just a short course or diploma etc in it to start off. The heart and interest is the most important.
If you're reading this and you're interested do tell me ya. You'll have to wait till I'm done with my studies though. =P Few years time. Enough time to see if this idea is a feasible idea, and to work out the many hitches I'm bound to encounter along the way. And of course, to seek out God's will in this. =)
Till then, keep this in mind! This idea has been brewing for quite a while already. I've always thought about it, but always dismissed the idea as impossible. But lately, pondering over my future, and what I really want to do.. well, this is what I want to do.
However, I may be a special ed teacher in a school first.. I really don't know. After this year, I learnt my lesson about planning far into the future. So I'm taking things one step at a time, and leaving the rest to God.
=) God bless!
Jo
Monday, November 03, 2008
=)
Went to Kiwanis today after a long long time. Had a really great time. :-) Those kids are just so so so adorable lah. Haiz. I missed them so so so much. Just soooo cute! =) The sad thing is this is their last week of schooling for the year. So I'll only be able to help till then. I'll be helping out during their concert this Saturday though. =) Which is going to be hilarious. =D
I plan to help out maybe every Monday next year though. Just go after school to help out. I enjoy it too much lah. Can learn so much from these innocent young souls.
One Kiwanis teacher scolded me when she found up I actually took up TESL. "With your kind of results how can you do TESL!!! Form 6 so much better!" and went on and on about it. =( But oki lah I'm in form 6 now so she oughta be happy. Lol. I'm happy that's for sure. =D
Trying to look for other special education centres to volunteer in. Maybe autistic centres, or spastic centres. If anyone knows about any kindly let me know ya.
Then went to 1 U with Dawn. And tried batting! =D Baseball batting.
That's me!!!
Oki lah I was a total noob in it. Sorry Dawn for causing that bruise on you.. I know we're supposed to hit the baseball FORWARD, not BACKWARD. ;-)
Oh, and I found out that I got 60/60 for MUET essay. LOL. I've never ever gotten perfect marks for an essay before. Oki lah, logically no teacher should ever give full marks for a language-based essay because no essay is ever perfect. But hey, Pn. Harbans is a MUET book author and examiner(I assume) so I'm happy with it. Jess told me that she read out my essay to class. Which is malufying. Good thing I was absent today. Although honestly if you ask me that essay was quite crappy. Just some ol' boring essay about the internet.
But real test all next year lah. Everything this year is chicken feet. So I've gotta start studying. Seriously. But with friends on holidays and breaks etc I can't seem to do that. =(
Oki, off now. Have a great day(as I did)!
God bless,
Jo
I plan to help out maybe every Monday next year though. Just go after school to help out. I enjoy it too much lah. Can learn so much from these innocent young souls.
One Kiwanis teacher scolded me when she found up I actually took up TESL. "With your kind of results how can you do TESL!!! Form 6 so much better!" and went on and on about it. =( But oki lah I'm in form 6 now so she oughta be happy. Lol. I'm happy that's for sure. =D
Trying to look for other special education centres to volunteer in. Maybe autistic centres, or spastic centres. If anyone knows about any kindly let me know ya.
Then went to 1 U with Dawn. And tried batting! =D Baseball batting.
That's me!!!
Oki lah I was a total noob in it. Sorry Dawn for causing that bruise on you.. I know we're supposed to hit the baseball FORWARD, not BACKWARD. ;-)
Oh, and I found out that I got 60/60 for MUET essay. LOL. I've never ever gotten perfect marks for an essay before. Oki lah, logically no teacher should ever give full marks for a language-based essay because no essay is ever perfect. But hey, Pn. Harbans is a MUET book author and examiner(I assume) so I'm happy with it. Jess told me that she read out my essay to class. Which is malufying. Good thing I was absent today. Although honestly if you ask me that essay was quite crappy. Just some ol' boring essay about the internet.
But real test all next year lah. Everything this year is chicken feet. So I've gotta start studying. Seriously. But with friends on holidays and breaks etc I can't seem to do that. =(
Oki, off now. Have a great day(as I did)!
God bless,
Jo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)