Another one..

Had some surprises today. Real shockers. Won't tell you what they are though.

Life is so tiring at times.

Sometimes I just love being young.. sometimes I wish I will just grow up and forget about teenhood(childhood?)!

As you can guess, I'm feeling the latter now.

Sigh. Hate being left out. Hate being thought(or told) that I'm not mature enough. Hate being different at times. Hate being abnormal.

Hate using the word Hate.

14 years old is a really weird age I think. I mean, at 12 or 13, fine, I can still be called a kid. But at 14 you're stuck between childhood and being an 'older teen'. The younger ones look at you as the 'older' one.. the older ones look at you as the 'younger' one. Arrgh!

Sometimes I wish.....

Nah it's no use saying. Plus, I'm not too sure who reads this blog so I had better watch my mouth(or fingers?).

Life is sad when you don't fit in anywhere specific. One day I'm here, one day I'm there. In some places, I'm totally alone.

Gosh. Sad sad sad! It's 11.15pm now.

Can't even decide my future.

You know, sometimes I wish I didn't have the choice to do anything. Life is so much simpler that way, isn't it? Like the book 'The Giver'. They got rid of choices.

Yes.. can you imagine life without choice?

Life would be even worst.

~Lord, forgive me for thinking like this~

Okay, it's time to move on. Sleep this night away, get back to being happy.

Still.. I'm disappointed. Sigh. Why must I be so YOUNG/OLD?! Why can't I be 12 or 17? Why FOURTEEN??!

Oh well. I'll be 15 soon. Not that it's better than 14, but hey, it's a step closer to SOMEWHERE and not IN BETWEEN.

Off to bed.
Joanne

Sad.

Life has been getting worse lately.

Saw a flasher again last Monday. I was all alone too. Was so afraid he was a rapist.. thanks God he didn't follow me. I didn't react at all, just pretended I didn't see what he wanted me to see. I didn't know how else to react!

Just back from my piano practical exam. Was really horrible. I couldn't play the harmonic scale even though she gave me THREE!

Pieces were not too good, but would have to do. Oral went.. really really terrible. I think I answered everything wrong but the perfect/imperfect+minor/major key. My singing went.. :'(.

I don't know how strict she is. Sigh. Got another lady examiner. Sigh. Wish they had local examiners you know? I already feel so nervous before an exam, with a caucasian lady breathing down my neck + a funny accent.. I just blew it. I blew everything. Bye bye cash. Bye bye cert.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk