=)

Hmm, not dreading school next week.

Although this week has hardly been a 'rest week' with a 4 day camp, and a 2 day badminton competition, it went pretty well. :-)

I want another badminton group lah. :-( I stopped going for my favourite badminton group every Sat morning.... -_-

But my Friday nights are now free, with prayer meeting moved to Wed night. Hmm. :-)

But, STPM's coming too.

But I still played badminton in the midst of SPM.

Then again, back then life only revolved around badminton & studies.

Hmm. Gotta find a new group. My friends whom I used to play with have all... moved on, shall we say. Gone to Germany, gone to Australia, gone here gone there, too busy clubbing, too busy studying, too busy this too busy that.. :-(

The funniest one I've heard so far, "Since I've gotten a girlfriend I haven't played badminton la!"

LOL.

We all move on sometime or other, eh.

God bless!

Hello bloggy :-)

Am back from The Plan '09! It was really good, for me. Not being selfish or anything, but yeah, it was good for ME. I say that because during the past few CF camps, the 'burden' has been for the campers, and not so much for myself. I mean, they was usually spent interceding for our campers. But this time, it was more for me, myself, and really, it settled several issues in my life that I'd hardly even realised had been holding me back. I suppose previously I didn't have such problems that now seem to encroach my personal life.

And really, God is just awesome. :-)

Wai Yan and I happened to join the erm.. intercessors during The Plan one evening. From there I realised, wow, it's the prayers of these people who have kept the entire conference going, and the reason why it solved personal issues for me. They did the 'macro' part, so that we could get the 'micro' effect, if you understand what I mean.

It was my first time meeting so so many others with a heart to do God's work, and really, it was refreshing. Having belonged to a church that sneered at such camps/conferences before, I must admit I was rather skeptical about it, but decided to obey that Someone I truly love. And it was amazing.

Having the 1 a.m. band leading worship one night brought up memories though.. it's hard not to be skeptical about some things when you've got some background knowledge.. I'll leave that to God however, and will (try) not judge.

The Plan '09 was awesome.

KNOWING that God is moving, and is just waiting for people to answer His calling.

Yes, I'll reiterate, The Plan '09 was AWESOME. :-) Just the beginning though, and much more prayer will be needed. A LOT more prayer. And willing hearts.

God bless ya,
Jo

(Ishmael is the father of Arabs. That connection never, ever, ever struck my mind even though I've read some things here and there. This discovery was like, *boom* and got me wondering, how many things do I know that I've never, ever made connections before??)

(Oh, and I've got a badminton competition tomorrow! :-D)

Kalo nak berpolitik dlm Malaysia..

Lebih baik kalo BM kita powderful.

I just watched some videos of Malaysia's parliment at its bes.. er, worst. And it was pretty obvious that the MPs who struggled with BM had a clear disadvantage as compared to fluent Malay-speaking MPs. Of course, if the debates had been conducted in English instead, I daresay the tables would be turned around. But, bear in mind that Malay is our official language, so.. when in Rome, do as Romans do.

In other words, MPs ought to try to improve their BM to a point that they stop fumbling for words, I believe you are playing at a very very unlevel field(more than it already is) if you're struggling to get words out against some machine-gunned-mouth MP.

Of course, one wonders how Malaysia is ever gonna advance when our MPs are heatedly arguing over semantics instead of real issues. Hmm.

This Youtube Video can explain what I mean. (It's 2 years old though, can't say much has improved since then.)

Mmm.. "BODOH (STUPID)! BODOH!"

After the Yang di-Pertua says that he "tidak menggalakkan perkataan 'bodoh' digunakan (discouraged the use of the word 'stupid')", Nazri changes to, "Tidak cerdik (Not intelligent). Tidak cerdik. Tidak cerdik. Tidak cerdik! Ah, macam bodoh lah, tidak cerdik (Like stupid lah, the word not intelligent)!"

I'm positive that had Nazri been arguing against a fluent-Malay-speaking MP, he would not have changed 'bodoh' to 'tidak cerdik'. Simply because the fun is taken out of semantics when your opponent clearly understands your meaning. To have explained 'tidak cerdik' is demeaning on the other MP's part as it clearly shows how lowly he thinks of that MP's fluency in BM. Whether he really had to explain the word 'tidak cerdik' or not is another issue, but the fact that he even THINKS he has to explain it reflects his impression of that MP's BM.

Was just feeling random. :-)

God bless!

Currently in Malacca :-)

Went to Pahlawan & Mahkota today. And bought a new bag! :-) It's as if a bag fest is going on! Bags that cost RM39.90 in PJ are RM19.90, RM 25 here! :-)

Mmmm. And of course, the food. The food is oh so so so unhealthy. I had my chicken rice ball, of course, which isn't that unhealthy.. as compared to what dinner was. Dinner had 'lap cheong'/chinese sausage. While I really really would abstain from eating that under normal circumstances, my relatives had cooked that and shoved it onto my plate, so I (silently) asked for Grace really hard. Oh well.

As usual, I can't get any studies done here, Malacca is my holiday home lah how in the world am I suppose to STUDY here?? *sigh* Should have stayed in PJ... but.. oh well. I thought I should see my relatives more often. I think this is only my 3rd/4th visit to Malacca this year.

Anyway, I'm headed for The Plan '09 tomorrow! :-)

Just a thought before ending,

Is it possible to resist God?

God bless ya,
Jo

What if...

WHAT IF...

Church was held in an outdoor place under the blistering hot sun?

Comfortable, cushiony chairs were taken away and people have to stand to hear God's word?

Sermons preached focus on repenting and turning away from our sinful, secular ways?

We find ourselves constantly berated and jeered at by family, friends, for believing in God?

Believing in our God means being locked up in prison, being ostracized from family & friends?

Following our God means giving up our (worldly) dreams and following His Call?

Loving God means giving up all the nice, comfortable, securities of our lives?

Carrying our crosses causes pain and heartache not just to ourselves, but to our loved ones?

Would you still cling on to Christ?

Would I? I don't mind giving myself up for Christ, but I HATE the feeling of disappointing loved ones. And that is where the real test comes in.

Am I willing to hurt OTHERS for Christ?

Luke 9:23 says,

Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.

Lord, guide me.

Happy Malaysia Day!

:-) I'd prefer if Malaysia day were made a public holiday instead of 31st August. Malaysia Day includes everyone! :-) (Including Singapore....)

Of course, 2 public holidays, 16th Sep and 31st August would be awesome too. :-)

Why, then we'll be having Chinese New Year holidays, Raya holidays, Thaipusam, Deepavali, Christmas, Agong's birthday, King's birthday, and all the other small small holidays that I simply cannot keep track of.

Haha. Why in the world would people want to leave Malaysia, I wonder.

Happy Malaysia Day! :-)

Exactly a Year Has Passed...

Since I decided to leave IPDA. It was the week before Raya holidays too, last year.

How life has changed so much, eh?

How I made hard decisions that I never, ever, thought I would, and could make. Yeah, I would never, ever have expected myself to give up a full scholarship, and to enter form 6 SIX months late. SIX!

To go back to the regime of school life (minus the comfort of many things I took for granted in all my 5 years of secondary school-good friends, teachers who knew me, the assurance of a good co-curricular vitae..)..

To live at home in a very different circumstance from before, where suddenly everything I took for granted was snatched away..

To uproot myself from a church that I've practically grown up in..

To force myself to question many beliefs that I had, and to admit that yes, I was wrong, and dangerously wrong at that.

But, I've grown so much since then, learned oh-so-much from God, and about God. (And the more I discover about Him, the more I discover there is to learn about Him).

Suddenly, I find myself completely, absolutely relying on Him, and Him alone. Because man has obviously failed me, and my brains and badminton skills and whatsoever else were rendered useless in situations that were simply beyond my control.

Nevertheless, now that a full year has passed, God has indeed revealed Himself to be one mighty, awesome, yet mysterious God.

In terms of school, I made good friends, although I'm definitely not close to my teachers as I was in form 5, they were nice enough to me, and the most amazing thing, God proved to me that indeed, everything was in His hands for the co-curricular part.

You see, in form 6 people constantly talk about posts and co-curricular that constitutes 10% for your entrance to university. Frankly, for me, I would prefer to work on my 90%(STPM), but friends and teachers seemed to worry about MY 10%, asking me to join this club and that club for posts. But I only wanted to be in CF, and really, unlike form 5 where I was involved in 6-7 activities, I had no more energy/will to do that in form 6.

So I started the year in upper 6 contented enough with being involved in badminton and CF. Then a friend left form 6/CF, and Sampat offered me her CF post. Then, in the school badminton team, the captain insisted on stepping down so that I could be captain. We were arguing over it when our teacher heard us, and she veto powered us, 'Joanne, you're form 6, you need it for koko marks, you're captain.' And in Yellow House, I just found out few weeks back, they put me down as the badminton captain. They actually replaced a form 4 girl with me! Their logic was she could get the post next year. And since I only found out about it after they had submitted in the list.. thankfully I'm on good terms with that girl.

And of course, I never, ever, thought I would be picked to enter MSSS, especially since I'd stopped training by then.

Co-curricular activities/posts, something I deemed 'small' and 'unimportant', in light of my current circumstances, yet He still took care of it.

In His own way, God was telling me to trust Him. And since I had no other choice.. it's funny how God needs humble us so much before we actually learn to completely surrender ourselves to Him.

As for home, it's tough sometimes, but, God is in it all. :-)

And while the shift from MT to PPBC wasn't entirely easy, I daresay I'm pretty comfortable in PPBC now. :-)

I think, having to question, and change some of my stubbornly-held principles and beliefs was the toughest part, considering how mule-headed I am. But God has been revealing a lot, through his Scripture, and it's been a truly, truly humbling experience to admit that I've been completely wrong.

All in all, I'd never imagined my comfortable world would undergo so much of havoc and turbulence in a span of a few weeks/months, but honestly speaking?

I would rather be where I am now, in a position where I have no one but God to rely on, than to have all the world in the palm of my hands that I could effectively push God out of the picture, and just go to church, pray occasionally, and thank Him for all the good things I had in life.

Mmm, God is AWESOME! :-) And I love Love LOve LOVe LOVE Him! Hehehehe.

Hehehehe =)

Trials are over, and I think, I THINK, I didn't do too badly, in fact, I may just improve from last term! :-) Because I worked harder this term. hehe. I didn't give up halfway, that is. (It all depends on your first paper, if you feel you did fine, then you'll have more mood to study.)

Anyway, yeah, STPM's coming, closer and closer..

And thinking about STPM reminded me about the AFTER it too.

That's where the real thinking starts.

Hmmm..

The Spices lady wants me to work with the special kids first, before 'you decide what to do'.

My Eng. Lit. teacher thinks I should consider majoring in Eng. Lit., and then lecturing.

My family thinks I should consider studying overseas in some 'prestigious university'.

Some friends think I'm gonna 'waste your brains' if I just confine myself to some simple course.

My teachers think I shouldn't become a teacher.. 'wasted'.

Some other friends think I'm doomed cause I 'threw away 2 full overseas scholarships'.

Still others think I should do a 'useful, professional course' that will guarantee me a 'good job'.

As for me...

Arrgh. You ask me, the secular desire I have, would be to do a double-degree, which can't be done in Malaysia. The combination? Special Education and English Literature.

But an overseas education will require a scholarship. Mmm, which, I don't think I can get from the government anymore. And scholarships require excellent results. EXCELLENT, not the way I'm barely floating now.

As for teaching, I'm really not sure about it anymore. I was adamant about teaching at one point, I know, but life and circumstances have changed so much that I'm quite a changed person too.

Ish, I'm not even sure about Special Education and English Literature anymore.

And again, I'm reminded, that I've left it all in His almighty hands, and that if only I'll leave things to Him, everything will not be disastrous (unlike 2008).

Into Your hands I commit myself, Lord.

The difference...

Last year, when I entered form 6 one week before end year exams, I decided to sit for 3 papers. Out of 5. MUET, Pengajian Am (General Paper) and Economics.

MUET, simply because it was English, I didn't need to study for it.

PA, simply because it was a general paper, my friends told me I didn't need to study for it. Haha, I remember looking around, wondering why people brought colour pencils, compasses, and protractors during that paper. Needless to say, I scored a 0/15 for my graph for that paper.

Econs... 2 reasons. It was the last paper in the time-table, hence I would have the most time to prepare for it, considering I was already 6 months behind my classmates. And, because I already had a foundation in Econs during SPM, so it wasn't tough to grasp just a few more concepts in a matter of days. (Ok, I had a foundation for Business (through Commerce in SPM) too, but because I'm such an unmotivated person and I only took 2 months of tuition for it just before SPM, by SPM time I had only gone through it ONE round. ONE pathetic round! How lah to remember anything now??)

Haha, I got a band 6 for MUET that term, never to get it again :-(, my marks for PA remained the same during mid-terms this year and end year last year, a pathetic 66%, and my Econs improved somewhat, from 75% last year to 85% last term.

So really, whether I sat for exams after only 1 week of school, or 5 months of school had absolutely no bearing on my results. If anything, my results last year can be considered astounding, and kinda pathetic this year. I feel like such an unmotivated pig. -_-

LOL.

Anyway, it's down to Islamic and World History tomorrow, Microeconomics on Monday, and colouring contest (PA1) on Tuesday. :-)

I daresay my Business marks will beat my History marks this term. My History is going down down down the drain. Unless I work dog-hard tonight. If I can stay awake, that is.

Haha. Lazy lah. I'm always like this, running out of steam when I'm closest to the (temporary) finish line. I've hardly studied at all today, since I came home. :-(

Did you know Andalusia means Land of Vandals?

Now, why can't History papers ask questions like that? Why do they have to ask the oh-so-so-tough questions instead?

Lol.

Stress, stress. That's why a teeny bit random.

:-)

God bless ya,
Jo

Turning the Other Cheek

Matthew 5:39 says,

But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.

Just felt the urge to blog about this verse today as I thought about it. Actually, I felt prompted to think about it. :-)

Anyway, this verse is oftentimes interpreted as that Christians should just accept bashings, insults, and even OFFER himself/herself to be beaten up.

But, if we look deeper into this verse.. ;-) Allow me, pretty please with a laptop on top? Hehe.

Okay, in those days, the right hand was used for holding swords, doing 'clean' stuff, whereas the left hand was reserved for dirty.. toilet stuff. You get my drift?

So, if one were to slap another, only the RIGHT hand would be used. Now, why did Jesus specify the RIGHT cheek? He could have just said, 'cheek' without specifying right or left. Well, just imagine you're about to slap somebody (WOI IMAGINE ONLY OK!) in front of you. If you slapped that fella with your right hand on his/her right cheek, it would be a backhanded slap, no? That was the 'type of slap' reserved for inferiors, subordinates, slaves in those days. It's just a backhanded slap, to humiliate one, not necessarily to hurt, but to humiliate.

Now, Jesus said, TURN THE OTHER ALSO. Now, imagine your 'slappee' turning his/her LEFT cheek to you now instead. Bear in mind, you're using your RIGHT hand still, to slap.

Uh-oh.

Suddenly, you have to slap the 'slappee' on the left cheek, and it's no longer a backhanded slap, but one with the palm of your hand. This person is all of a sudden, if you slap him/her, no longer an inferior, but someone who is of your level. To slap someone with the palm of your hand would be to slap someone who is on par with you, you see.

(Also, personally, I feel that to humiliation is reserved for inferiors, people whom you CAN humiliate without causing physical harm. On the other hand, you can only try to physically hurt someone who is ON PAR with you to claim that you're 'above them', simply because humiliation doesn't work on them, they are not your subordinates, after all. Correct me if I'm wrong here. :-))

This verse comes to mind when we're faced with insults and jeers from others. Instead of retaliating or getting all defensive and fighting back.. all we have to do is... DON'T RESPOND. It's like, 'Hey man, I'm above all these insults and jeers, why in the world would I need to revenge someone like YOU?' To me, this places the 'slappee' even ABOVE the slapper, to have the courage, and dignity, to hold himself/herself in check without retaliating/sinking into depths of humiliation.

It's true, isn't it? It requires STRENGTH to keep your dignity. Honestly, sometimes I find it hard to keep quiet and not retaliate, it's so so so much easier to get all angry/defensive and fight back. To keep quiet and not respond requires me to do some clenching and curling of toes on my part to keep my frustration in. But, it's way way less satisfying to these 'slappers'. After all, people provoke for a reason, it's totally unsatisfying when the one you choose to provoke doesn't retaliate. Jesus never fought back violently although He was right and his captors, in the wrong. I love the part where they label his 'crime' on top of his cross: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS. (Can you imagine the irony of it all, the Jews sought to kill him simply because they claimed he wasn't the Messiah, and yet, such was his crime, to be THE KING OF THE JEWS.)

Sorry if this post doesn't make much sense, ask me more if you want, k?

God bless ya,
Jo

Trials, Life, Me <- MY blog mah!

Hehe.

After 3 papers (Business 2, Macroeconomics, and History 2), my hand/arm is now aching. =( I had FINGER CRAMP after Sejarah paper!!! My middle right hand finger was painful. And and now I've got a blister on my thumb. I don't know what kinda horrible pen-holding skills I have :-(

I have used a total of 8 + 8 + 7 = 23 foolscap papers so far. And nearly all fully used on both sides.

Hehehe. At least I can answer!!! :-) Er, I highly doubt enough for A's lah.. but.. form 6 lah who's looking for A's? =P

Business 1 and Sejarah 1 and Microeconomics coming up. And and these 3 did much much worst compared to Business 2, Sejarah 2, and Macroeconomics last term. :-( Means I'll have to work super hard! *sigh*

On a lighter note, these heavy ones only start this coming Thursday. So I have.. slightly, more time. Considering I've not started.. :-( Hahaha, I talked talked talked, played played played, slept slept slept, prayed prayed prayed, ate ate ate today. :-)

Instead of studying in class, I got lured into talking. Then school ended and I wanted to study since I THOUGHT class would be empty.. but I ended up talking even more! :-(

Then enjoyed CF. :-) Then play Facebook.

Then slept, and overslept. I seem immune to alarm clocks nowadays. Reached late for prayer meeting.

Then then, ate ate ate. Haiz.

How to do well in STPM like that??

But but, quite a happy day mah. :-) Apart from some issues, but generally, happy day. :-)

Isn't that the most important?

No???

*sigh* I guess not.

STUDY JOANNE STUDY! Okay okay I'm gonna study now. (I'm talking to myself on my blog here. Hmmm... stress, stress.)

God bless ya,
Jo

Day 1, DONE.

Only 8 more days to go. (MUET isn't counted)

1/2 a paper done (3 hours of sitting down!), only another 7.5(20 hours more of sitting down!) papers to go!

:-)

Of course, that simply means I'll have to study more than 20 hours to cover everything. :-(

Oh well.

Hahaha.

Business Studies 2 today. Apart from the fact that I (along with 80% of my classmates) will probably get 0/13 for one question, I think, I did pretty well, as compared to mid-terms.

Why?

Simply because I didn't sleep during this paper. :-) Hehehe. I actually wrote nearly non-stop! 7 papers, 13 pages full, 7th paper single side used. *Ah, the satisfaction* (Don't rub in the fact that some answers were pure fabrications, a result of an overactive imagination and I'll be just fine.)

Tomorrow's paper is.. History. Bleh.

Perang Inggeris-Myanmar I (1824-1826), Perang Inggeris Myanmar II (1852-1853), Perang Inggeris Myanmar III (1886-1887), Perjanjian Yandabo 1826 a result of Perang Inggeris-Myanmar I...

The best part is,

Myanmar may not even come out. Some other obscure, unimportant war like Perang Diponegoro may come out.

Sometimes, I wonder, why even bother studying when what you study doesn't come out, and what you oh-so-happen to 'termiss out' comes out. And you can kiss 25% good bye. *muakz*

Hahaha, still, that's why, spotting questions doesn't work.

Okay, off to study. :-)

God bless,
Jo