Har-rroooowwww

My classical guitar playing is improving again! Haha. Was stagnant for a while, I was beginning to get worried. -_- Then my teacher got me to memorise the pieces.. and voila! Instant improvement overnight! :-) Guess I'm not completely 'one' with my guitar yet, can't automatically feel the frets with my eyes closed. Have to keep eyes on my left hand. Lol. Still, I compare my playing now as compared to when I first started learning it 2+ years back, I was a complete NOOB back then. Like, absolute complete noob, don't know a thing about guitar, dunno how to hold/strum/pluck/anything. And now my teacher is talking about grade 8.. although grade 6 also not yet sit. Haha.

I sat for my first uni exam on Tuesday/23rd Nov. :-) The thought of a uni exam appeared intimidating, and really, the hall was HUGE, so it was kinda intimidating. But the paper was ok.. TITAS, and my 2nd paper yesterday was ok too. So yeah, guess I'm now a full-fledged uni student. So unbelievable, hor? I still find it hard to believe. I can still remember my kindergarten days! And the brother is gonna graduate end of this year.. he's gonna WORK. And I can still remember all the small kid games we used to play.. hmmm.

But growing up is/was fun. Painful at times, but every experience, whether bitter, sad, exhilarating, or surprising only served to mould me into who I am today. I look back and think, what would I have changed about the things I did? And I think, nothing, really. I could have worked harder on History and Econs and gotten As instead of A-s for them in STPM, but Econs and History were already my strongest subjects in form 6, so saying that would be plain overdoing it.

I could have... I could have trained badminton to a higher level instead of quitting so early. I remember my coach calling me up multiple times imploring me back to training, talking something about talent and whatsoever. But I.. honestly I was tired of the dog-eat-dog world and felt that badminton was consuming my life. I wanted to play it as a social game, not a stressful one. And my parents were not supportive of me playing so competitively, and weren't willing to fetch me around for training as more supportive parents did. So really, there wasn't much of a choice giving up competitive badminton there. There are times I look back and wonder how far I could have gone.. my kaki training have reached levels I can only dream of now. But regret? Maybe just a sense of wondering where I could be if I had taken that path. But no, no regrets. Nostalgia and memories of those good ol' days, yes. :-)

Eh sorry, don't know why my post suddenly started talking about the past. Probably just looking back now that I'm feeling like a uni student. =P

Hehehe. Another 3 papers to go! Then I'm off to Aus.. then youth camp.. then... next sem starts again. -_- But it's ok, next sem's a rather short one, and we've got few months of hols to look forward to after that! Since MOHE decided the sem should start in September instead of July next year. :-D Ok, I'm not making sense. It's just that I really do love counting down towards holidays.

And yes, the Jo's are doing quite, quite well together. More than quite well, actually. Lol! Just because I don't blog for sometime doesn't mean our relationship is going down the drain. ;-) I'm discovering just how many people read my blog when they congratulate me, and mmm it's scary. AFAIK, I used to be the only consistent reader of my blog.

God bless,

Jo

Edit: After thinking over my post, I think I've no regrets about my past simply because I'm not the kinda girl who looks back at her past with regret. What's done is done, and nothing I can do but learn lessons from the past and move on. I'll probably whine over it for a while but basically history is history. Of course, this is also probably due to the fact that I've never done anything profoundly stupid (yet) that'll have permanent negative effects on me. Lol! ;-)

Edit #2: Looking at some Facebook photos, I suddenly realise I do have 1 regret! That I did not make more permanent good friends from school. But I guess I've always been slightly different from muh friends and entering Arts stream didn't aid matters much. So yeah, that's one regret! Hahaha.

Harlo Bloggy!

After a not-so-long hiatus, I'm back!

Because I wanted the last post to be special and to remain up there for quite a while. 10 days is enough, no?

Today I feel like blogging about the blessings in my life! :-) In no particular order...

- I thank God for dad! He taught me so much, not through lectures and sermons and preachings as some parents are wont to do, but through his actions and attitude. Never once have I doubted my dad to be a hypocrite, whatever he shared, whether from the pulpit, among friends or family, was exactly what he practiced. He taught me the meaning of integrity, and though I must admit I'm not as perfect as he was in this sense.. still a bit crooked la, never pay samans, clever to twist my words to get out of unpleasant situations, get friends to sign attendance sheet for me... but I'm still learning, dad, still learning. :-)

- I thank God for mom! She taught me, again not through words, but through deeds and actions. Particularly, how to serve others. I inherited her servant heart la. It's a joy for me to help others in need, and I won't hesitate to help a friend if I am able to help them. I think I inherited her strength to go through life too. :-)

- I thank God for my brother! I think he's my real best friend! Cause I tell him everything. Hahaha. Nearly everything... Which brother will get up at 6am to cook maggi for his sis who's gonna sit for STPM that day... when our parents were in hospital.. became my driver during STPM... Any guy who treats his sis like a princess will treat his gf/wife as precious gold! Whoever she is, she's one blessed person. :-)

- I thank God for my beloved friends! Whom I can rely on to tell my deepest sorrows and greatest joys and trust they'll be along my side all the time! I thank God for each friend who has been wonderful to me, and just being plain.. lovely. We're like rocks flowing down a river, rubbing/geserring each other into smooth stones! Right right? :-)

- I thank God for my rusa! Who constantly says that he isn't perfect... Dear, only Jesus was perfect. And I'm not perfect. So really, it would be odd for me to demand for a perfect guy.

-_- Thanks for teaching me how to trust.. something I find very very hard to do. I used to/still think relationships are DARN complicated at times but it's been a good journey.. so far.. considering we've barely began, eh? ;-) I don't know what lies in the future for us, but we've both agreed that God is the head of our relationship, so we'll trust in Him, right? :-)

- I thank God for PPBC! Although I've barely been 2 years in this church, it almost feels like the church I grew up in. I thank God for friends whom I can rely on, friends to talk to, friends to hang out with. I've grown so much spiritually and mentally through PPBC, and really I don't know where I'll be without these bunch of fun-loving, God-loving people. Probably out there sesating in the world because 2 years ago, the 3 most important foundations of my life - family, church, and studies were shaken, badly horribly terribly shaken. I'm now missing an earthly dad, ostracised by the paternal side of my family. I'm in a local U, on a government scholarship. I'm not in some far away prestigious university on some prestigious scholarship as my teachers, family and I myself dreamt back then. But PPBC has been the biggest blessing ever! God is a faithful God. :-)

And lastly... I thank God for being God! :-) How many times have I cried out to You till peace and joy washes over my heart.. :-) I've not been very good lately, and yet You're still faithful to me. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU, GOD. =D

God bless,

Jo

Blessed 55th Birthday Dad!

~Remember remember the 5th of November...~

Then it struck me that you were born on the 6th of Nov! :-)

So I'm gonna make this post special by adding more pictures than usual. Ok, fine, I don't usually post pictures, period. So by posting more than 1 picture in this post means it's a special post! Right dad? :-)

You were always doing odd things like this!

Ever-smiling, even before the operation. You rock, dad!

Strawberry.. from Camerons :-) You were balding slightly by then but your spirit was up up up!

I know you're happy there, and we're getting on with life here too. The house has changed so so so much, it's like a brand-new home.

What have you missed since I last held your hand?

My STPM results (ok, you didn't miss this, it was a week before you left, but you were exceptionally physically weak by then so I'm posting this):

In shock =)

Teachers were as happy as I was! Some of them knew about the battle I was facing.

Me calling home only to find out that Hospice was around and the fact that I had to collect STPM results on that day was forgotten as my news was hurriedly brushed aside to make way for more morphine injections.

I went jalan-jalaning with my friends on that day, with Yee, Wai Yan and Yew Leung.. just to celebrate. We ate in Carls Junior! Freaking expensive burgers, but hey, indulging occasionally is fine. =) I remember Joash calling me while I was walking in 1 Utama to congratulate me.. (Kinda random to bring Joash up here but you'll find out why soon...)

What else?

Being named Taman Sea’s top STPM student:

Going into a round round ball and being spinned around in a giant washing machine!

Ended up with a horrid bruise after torturing myself:

Got meself in University Malaya, with a bunch of awesome Engrish people! =)

My hostel room that I'm gonna abandon real soon. Haha. Actually I've already abandoned it...

My Engrish people.. a couple of them missing. Awesome peeps!

Went for Fast Wait and Pray (FWP) in Kluang. I DROVE your car to Kluang! Amazing Perdana!

Helped to organise UM's CF camp and UM's debate competition.

Ushered in a wedding.

Got the JPA scholarship. =)

Am using your super-chun N97 Nokia phone!

Played in my first squash competition ever in UM's inter-college sports competition (SUKMUM) =)

Played badminton in SUKMUM.

Was asked to join MASUM's badminton team.. training alongside national players! hahaha.

Yep, I've been having a busy busy sem, probably to fill in the void left in me since you left.

But.. God is good. :-) I saved the best for the last...

I got meself a boy real man! HAHAHA =D You know him.. my rempit aka Joash! ;-) Mum loves him, I'm sure you love him too! Hahaha =D

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Rempit

Occasional bapok

(Occasionally nerdy too, but for the sake of his pride I shall not post up the nerdier side of him.. =D)

So really, we're doing fine here. :-) Going off for ko's convocation in Aus end of this year, pity you have to miss it. But who knows, maybe you can see all things from where you are.

So here I am, not as round as before, as you can compare in the pictures. Not as smiley as before, people tell me to smile more now. Can you believe that??

The bird I bought from Kedah to remind you of me when I thought I'll be sticking on to my scholarship! :-) But you got the real deal home.. ME! =)

The more gangster side of me.. =D

I'm matching red and black! hahaha =)

And that's me! Playing a red guitar hehehe. Pity you can't teach me the finer art of playing acoustic guitar.. 'tis ok, I've got others to teach me! My beast.. ;-)

Beauty & the Beast!

As you can see from my photos, I'm surrounded by awesome people. And a special someone, of course.

So all in all, I'm coping quite, quite well, dad. Some questions will never be answered and some wounds will never completely heal, but we've got our heavenly Dad, Amen? :-)

Once again, have a BLESSED BIRTHDAY DAAAD! =)

Guard your heart...

How often have girls been told to guard their hearts?

Ok, I don't know. Haha. I hear it occasionally, that's all.

It's one principle I've never thought of, but subconsciously it's something I do zealously. The only person whom I've ever given up my heart to is God.

But how long can you guard you heart? What if.. your heart says... the time is right to open the lock?

I've always been the type of person to trust my heart. I think. Haha. Take Arts stream although all your friends are going into Science.. choose TESL over Law... leave IPDA for home... anyone with HALF a brain would say I made stupid decisions.

But I've always trusted my heart (or more likely my Dad up there is pushing me along) to do the right thing.. and in retrospect, I have no regrets.

But those decisions have never.. affected my HEART itself.

I'm following my heart this time... the biggest risk my heart is taking, considering I've never even risked it before... Beauty & the Beast! ;-)

<3 I will trust you...

Have a blessed day,
Jo

Week 14

FINAL week! =)

No more morning classes, only left with 2 hours of classes per day this week! Except for Thursday. But holiday mood di! :-)

NO MORE CLASSES TILL NEXT YEAR!

I decided to quit Chinese and piano classes. Chinese cause I felt.. hmm. Like I was getting nowhere. Ni hao ma? And piano.. about the same story lah. I think I'll stick to my one true love.. guitar! =) I thought of completing at least until grade 8 for piano then I can teach next time.. but.. although I had a very good teacher with freaking expensive fees, the love and enjoyment just isn't there.. as compared to the guitar. I do enjoy ting ting tong tong on the piano and I will continue to do so, but I think.. not exam-wise lah. I think. We'll see. Piano just no hope la.. -_- learn so many thousand years and still stuck at grade 6, classical guitar learn 2 years and caught up to piano di! Hmm.

So looks like I may never end up teaching piano. Oh well. We'll see. I may pick it up sometime in the future.. maybe...

Good news is, with those 2 out of the way, my JPA money will be a lot! more extra. Hehe. Before this I counted in chinese, guitar and piano, and realised I'll be exceptionally tight. But now.. =D

Ok, bedtime!

God bless,
Jo

Elloz bloggy! :-)

I'm procrastinating. That's why I'm blogging. Haha. 3 major assignments due next week! :-(

But.. FINAL WEEK before holidays! =D Matter of fact, most of my classes finished di, just some wrapping up to do in most lectures. Hehehe.

Research Methodology, done. No more presentations for this year! =)

Thai, done. My ajan happily doing her Haj.

TITAS, DONE. Smsed, dreamed and skipped my weeks away during this horrifyingly boring class.

Computer, done. This Monday will be my last Facebooking class during my entire career in UM! If I even attend it. ;-)

Writing skills, Asia Tenggara and Lit left.. assignments. :-)

Can you believe I made it through my first sem so successfully? As in, joyfully, with no tsunamis in life?

Haha I know I type as if there are no exams.. =P Long time more lah exams.

While I still dislike assignments, I'm learning to tolerate them. If you can't lick 'em, join 'em, right?

Of course there's the one aspect that made the 2nd half of this sem enjoyable and sweet.. ;-)

I drove to Shah Alam yesterday! =D Confession: I've never driven there before. HAHAHA. Only remember Shah Alam as this foreign land where I used to go to for the occasional badminton tournament. Hehe.

Anyway, final week, I'm in a celebratory mood!

God bless ya,
Jo

Squashyyyyy

First competition ever! In squash lah. Don't even know the rules but want to play competition.. -_-

Oh man I've never done so miserably in a competition before. LOL. I lost ALL my games but 1.. Hahahahaha.

But because we(team event) won ONE game, we got 4th place. Hahaha!

Speaks truckloads for the squash standard in Malaysia.

Ran into the wall multiple times, hit my racquet against the wall soo many times, was taught to push people out of the way ROUGHLY by a Sukma squash player..

Gee, just gimme badminton any day lah. No walls to run into, no PUSHING people to get a point.. my body can't take all that abuse.. haha. The walls are hard.

I played like a plain lembu today lah. Haha! Footwork semua takde, only thing I had was my forehand drive.. because I once trained squash for a few months and I guess that's what every beginner is taught. And even that only if I had a wide angle to swing my racquet.

My stamina is GONE. GONE.

Must train it up again.. so unhealthy la :-(

Ish talk talk talk that's all I know.

Tomorrow I'll get to watch the debate competition in college. Can't wait to see those doctors and lawyers and whatsoever clever talkers debate! As long as I'm not in, I'll gladly watch.

I'm happy. ;-)

God bless ya,
Jo

Six killed as car crashes into trees

Six killed as car crashes into trees (Updated)

Each time I read news like this I'll caution myself to slow down, not to speed so much. I admit I've got a slight penchant for speeding, whether it's with my lil' Kenari or the big Perdana.

Guess I just feel too at home in the car and feel a need to speed when the roads are empty.

Just a reminder.. a sad reminder. Could easily have been my friends and I in that 2am accident!

2 weeks left. ;-)

God bless,
Jo

One of those days...

It's been one of those days again.. been sporadic and hits on and off, albeit getting less and less frequent.

My printer officially died (because the computer man came and said so), my modem is retarded (com man can't solve it too). What's a student gonna do without a printer, with major assignments starting to be due as its end of sem? Go to UM earlier everyday and print stuff out la.. what else?? Lol!

Hmm but I have to try and solve it lah, it's only a few months old.

I did manage to come home a few hours today. Wanted to attend Bible study (God and I know how much I need that) tonight but I've got a meeting at 9pm tonight.

On a happier note, I started using my dad's N97 and it's the best phone I've ever used! I feel happy with it. :-) Didn't use it earlier due to various reasons.

And I've been getting rather good feedback for my assignments, so guess some of my efforts paid off despite my grumbling and rumbling about assignments. :-)

Ok normally today would have been a ranting post but I told all of it to someone di.. so no urge to ramble on about life. Haha.

Had a good long talk with my heavenly Dad today :-) Love Him so much! Maybe He purposely gave me 'one of those days' because He knows that's when I run back to Him. Hmm. Trust me, I ran back to Him as fast as these short legs could carry me. ;-)

Have a blessed day!
Jo

Why?

Why by Nicole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said Father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die


I woke up this morning with this powerful song playing in my head. I don't know why, that hardly ever happens, I normally wake up to nothing. Despite my extremely exhausted body dreading a wretchedly full day today, this song kept playing and playing in my mind.. over and over again.

It's things like these that just make me want to fall to my knees and pray like I've never prayed before. I've been a lackadaisical child, done so many things I oughtn't have done.. and yet He still welcomes me into His arms.

Thank you Lord for your mercy.. change me to be more and more like You.

Just realised dad's birthday is coming.. first birthday eversince he's left us for a better place.

Horribly tiring day ahead.. will probably reach home 11pm+. With the few hours of sleep I had, don't know how I'll get along. Hmm.. next sem no more, no more! At least I made this mistake in my first sem.. still can relax and fool around a bit.

Anyway, I'm off, class at 9am.

Have a less tiring day than mine,
Jo

Experiment..

About 2 years.. (or more) ago, I decided I was fed-up with earrings because they irritated me too much when I slept. And I was too lazy to take them off before I slept. So I thought I'll stop wearing earrings and see if the holes would close...

My hypothesis: It would close. Our body can heal itself, can't it?? What's a lil' hole? I only pierced them when I was 8.. after all.. hahaha

Others' hypothesis: Impossible. I was given so many examples of people whose earlobe holes never closed despite years of not wearing earrings, especially since I pierced them years ago.

Being the stubborn pig I was/am, I decided to forge ahead with my experiment. Removed my earrings, and never once disturbed those holes since then. Actually, I'd pretty much forgotten the fact that I had once pierced my ears.

Until today, that is. I decided it'd be time to prove my hypothesis. ;-) So... I attempted to stick an earring into the hole... tried.. and tried... changed ear hole.. Dang, my hypothesis was right...!

For a few seconds there I dreaded the idea of allowing a needle to go through me again. Being more cowardly now as compared to my 8 year old days, I probably would have just thrown the whole idea of needles away and lived without earrings for the rest of my life.

Then it went through! Hahaha. So I quickly attempted the other ear hole. Lo and behold! Both sides still had open holes!

Result: Experiment FAIL.

Thankfully, I'm glad it failed. Hahaha. The things I thought of 2 years ago!

3 weeks of sem left. I'm supposed to start on my assignments. I said that many hours ago. :(

Discipline, Jo, discipline! Procrastination is the key to success!

Erm. I mean, procrastination is the road to failure!

LOL.

Have a blessed day!
Jo

Ramblings

Snoozed my alarm unconsciously, jumped up at 7.30am, got ready for uni in SEVEN mins, think I can beat guys! with this kinda timing. Cause I needed to reach UM by 8am to pass an assignment to my deaaar friend. At other times 10 mins is sufficient to reach UM, but at 7.40am... jam! Sheesh. Nevertheless I reached 8.05am. :-)

And THEN... Lecture was supposed to be at 9am.. -_- Guessed what happened?? It was CANCELLED. I could have slept till 1pm! Wow talk about frustrated. Haha. But hey, Yan needed her assignment.. =)

But still. I reached UM at 8am for the first time in my whole sem and I waited till 1pm for a lecture! haiz. Ok, I could have gone home but those poor souls without such a privilege of a nearby home convinced me to stay. haha. So I did. =)

We talked about blogs.. mmm.. they asked me if I had one.. I evaded the question.. haha. But they guessed (rightly) that I have a blog. If I'm not wrong, one of my coursemates may already know my blog address, because it's in my Yahoo! mail signature, and I forgot to delete it before I sent out an email. Hmm.

I don't want them to read my blog lah.. my school friends sure, they know I have a pretty interesting history. But my coursemates.. -_- Haha, ok, I know I can't pretend that my history doesn't exist, but my coursemates don't know it.. I can always make my blog private but it's pointless. Hmm.

Well, I guess sooner or later they'll discover bits and pieces of my life.. they're supposed to be my best friends for these 3 years anyway! Bunch of awesome people. :-)

4 weeks more of lecture... that was AWFULLY quick, wasn't it?? I've got a couple of major assignments due end of sem.. that's about it. :-) *Holiday mood di*

Everyday I look back at my life and marvel at the miracles I see in it. Seriously, I do. I'm pretty much contented with how things are working out now, our God's an awesome God! I mean, 1 year ago at this same time I was battling with so many worries and tsunamis, and this year I'm so relaxed and happy. Tell me last year that things would get better and I would have spat in your face. Really. Does the word 'coincidence' exist in God's vocab?

Of course, there are wounds that are still healing, and perchance may never heal completely. But each wound moulds me into who I am today, and simply teaches me to rely more and more on our Almighty God. I may need to do some reconciliation with certain people in time to come, but it'll be fine.. I hope.

You ask me whether I'll prefer a perfect life with no pain, versus all I've been through, and I'll honestly pick my current life, with all the battle scars and injuries. Each experience, painful or not, has simply moulded my perspectives and made me who I am today. 3 years ago I was this arrogant kid who thought the world cowtowed to her. Now? Haha. I've still got a long way to go, but I think the changes I've made along the way have been for the better.

As for physical changes? I've got a bit of a wisdom tooth! :-) And I'm losing weight like mad. I really don't know why. I'm eating as usual, skip the occasional lunch due to lectures but I'll always make up for it later on in the day. Had to shop for new pants few days ago because some of my long pants were just too ridiculously big! -_- And I'm not exercising.. unless you count walking in UM. But walking in UM is nothing compared to an intense 2 hour badminton session, or a lighter 1 hour walk through Bukit Gasing/Kiara. Where's the weight going?? My mom has a theory that I 'got her genes' cause she lost all her weight around my age too long ago. I don't know what kinda scientific fact that is, but hey, I'm happy. Can eat, no need exercise like mad dog, can lose weight, why complain???

For the sake of my own body I'm really gonna start exercising again soon though. Too unhealthy, this sedentary lifestyle.

Ok, enough rambling. Maybe I'm turning bimbo. Hmm..

God bless,
Jo

Something keeps disturbing me.. my mind.

Ever since last Tuesday's Bible study, what was shared struck something in my heart. Which is fairly normal.. but this time I can't shake it off.....

Too many times we plan our whole lives, have dreams and ambitions.. millionaire by 30, own this, own that, do this, do that.. and we live for these dreams...

Maybe unconsciously I know that I live for such ideals? That's why this thought is so disturbing and provoking. I keep saying I will go wherever God sends me.. but will I really??

God isn't concerned with ensuring we lead extremely blessed, prosperous lives.. He is concerned with making us more and more like Him. The Bible proves that, that's for sure.

The more I learn about our God, the more I want to know Him more... There's just so much to know..! I think I would have covered the Bible several times over if I'd spent more time studying His word instead of numerous revision books over the span of my lifetime.. especially form 6 books!

Contemplating.. hence this blog post. :-)

Change me to be more and more like You everyday, Lord.

God bless,
Jo

Howdy peeps!

:-) Am in UM now blogging.. sometimes I still find it unbelievable that I made it this far.. to uni! I can still remember my first day of standard 1... form 1...

Of course, there are many things I still find unbelievable. Like no longer having an earthly dad.. I've still got so many things I would have loved to learn from him.. I recently found a classical guitar book of his that's ancient! I never knew he played the classical guitar.. I knew he played the guitar lah, but not classical-playing.. But we'll never find all the answers to life, will we?

Having walked home since standard 1 till form 5, I look back and marvel at the fact that I was never kidnapped nor raped.. worst thing that happened was seeing a flasher, and that taught me to vary my going-home routes. I'm amazed at the leniency of my parents who never questioned nor stopped me from coming home at odd times throughout my schooling years, especially since I could not be contacted by handphone. For not scolding when I sometimes left school a bit earlier than I should have.. for not checking on the kind of friends I hung out with.. for allowing me to play so much badminton and other sports, for never scolding me when I came home with less than satisfactory marks..

Really, if I look back at my life I don't know how I'll ever give my kids(if I ever have any =P) that much leeway. Hmm...

God has been good in everything I've been through, and I see His blessings around me all the time. :-)

kk, time for class. Story time finish! Haha. Was bored. =D

God bless,
Jo

Alive and Kicking ;-)

After a wonderful weekend of sleeping and sleeping and sleeping, I'm nearly completely well. Nearly.. hey, it's a dramatic improvement from my half-dead-dog status on Friday anyway. :-)

Yesterday my piano teacher asked me about exams.. whether I should take it.. then he asked me what grade I wanted to take. -_- I was thinking, "hey, you're the teacher!" But I could understand his confusion.. he said he's never really sure what grade I'm at. I suppose cause some lessons I can barely play lower level pieces well, and sometimes I can sight-read higher levels easily. Hmmm... I'm confused too.

Anyway, I thought life would be pretty hectic, but turns out its not. Because no one has called me up for inter-college badminton, and the debate competition committee has gone completely silent on me (or maybe it was the other way around =P). So I'm only busy with CF camp stuff, and that is pretty light stuff.. and I'm told inter-college squash is coming up.. but no details yet.

So.. life's been pretty relaxing.

Ok, maybe I'm supposed to start on my major assignments.. like the 15 page one due end of sem..

Hmmm. Yeah. I think that's it. =D

Ok, starting on another assignment. -_-

As the semester drags on, I find myself handing in crappier and crappier assignments.. can't be bothered to make each one as perfect as I'd like them to be..

Oh, for the love of exams...!

:( Just started on a long ago assignment, and I find myself spewing out explicits (for my own ears alone) as I realise that I'm missing important documents that I used to have when we were first given the assignment. *sigh* How vulgar can you get, Jo... -__-

Anyway, zzz. Assignment time. I take back my long ago words. Exam is no longer a 4 letter word. Well, technically it is, but it isn't any longer in that sense..

Take care!
Jo

*cough cough*

I had the worst day ever yesterday! Lol. Because I woke up with a fever, slight flu and slight cough. But I still had to attend lecture because I had to sign some group project stuff and hand up an assignment.. Of course I could have left lecture early but there were some group presentations going on.. I wanted to see how they did it. Because I may be forced to present it next week -_- in front of 100 people. Zzz. The fluent Malay-speaking people in my group claim that their "suara bergetar-getar" when they speak in public.. So that just leaves me.. a person whose translation mechanism tends to break down when the brain is tired.. or some less-fluent speakers. Hmm. Hope I don't have to do it lah.. don't feel up to it.

Anyway, sick sick sick yesterday, came home 1+.. driving with a painful head is no easy task man! Thank God I reached home safely :-) And then slept my whole day away. Haha. So fruitless lah. Watch tv, sleep, wake up, reply sms ;-), sleep, wake up, watch tv, sleep, wake up.. eat... sleep..

Woke up this morning, felt better.. went for Chinese class.. then piano class.. guess what? I think my slight fever 'broke' during piano class.. I think that was it la, cause class was air-con but I perspired profusely throughout! Lol. Didn't feel like I had fever, but.. after that my eye-balls weren't painful anymore. =D

Having felt so much better, I actually made it to youth ON TIME. :-) Awesome, enlightening session.

Then it was back home.. right into bed. =P Till dinner time. Haha!

And ta dangg! I'm here blogging. :-) Off to do some work now.

God bless,
Jo

*Wedding Bells*

Wedding!!! =D

Went for Adrian and Sara's wedding today =) Hehe, so much joy in the reunion. The groom was smiling like I've never seen him smile before. Just smiling and smiling and smiling! Enraptured by love.. ;-)

Ushered at lunch.. in high-heels -_- Sooo painful after a while. Haha. But all the pain went away when our job was done and we could sit down the enjoy the wonderful food. With good company, of course! Hehe.

All in all, a fantastic wedding. Not so much because of all the events that were done, but because everyone was just so happy with this reunion. It wasn't too elaborate a wedding, with the shortest aisle I've ever seen for the bride to walk down.. 10 feet? Haha! Simple and awesome :)The atmosphere was the most important. Both sides were at peace with the reunion and all friends were sharing their joy. :) (Some PPBCians started acting as if it was their own wedding, at the rate they had fun!) I enjoyed the part where all the young couples in the church whether married or unmarried performed on stage as couples (for some reason they are all musical??). It seemed to be speaking a blessing onto their relationship, especially for the yet-to-be-married couples. (However most couples denied that it's their turn next.. hmmm)

Today's wedding just reminded me about how precious the sanctity of marriage is, especially in this world. So many people of my generation and slightly older have deliberately abandoned the idea of marriage in place of cohabitation. No strings attached, but you get the best out of your relationship. I have so many friends who have already decided that the idea of marriage is not for them, too constraining. Sure I may be an old fuddy-duddy.. but... ;-)

'Someone' said I blog long looong posts... =P Hahaha, sorry la, that's my style. My blog is my place to rant and tell stories when I feel like it.. although I don't really name names and give exact details of stuff... I look back at my previous posts and sometimes I've no idea what all that emo stuff was about!

Aye, I had a good day today. Good wedding, good dinner, good time. ;-)

God bless,
Jo

PEEEJAY :)

Am back in familiar territory! =D

(Though I daresay I didn't get lost in Kluang at all! but I get lost in PJ/KL every other day. :-( )

Kluang is a quaint little town, honestly. :) It just felt more.. 'united' than here.. particularly because the term 'daerah Kluang' is up everywhere, and nearly everything there is named after Kluang.

FWP was.. erm.. well honestly I fell sick right after I reached Kluang.. parked car, and started sneezing. By night my whole brain felt fuzzy and my nose was blocked. So.. it went pretty ok.. considering the circumstances. :) I'm sorry to say I spent plenty of time trying to recover because I had to drive back today, with 3 other precious cargo/daughters! It was a desperate attempt to recover because I knew I needed to drive these people back. After loads of prayer, water, and as much sleep as I could get, I woke up feeling surprisingly better today! :-)

I reached home in a surprisingly not-so-long time =D The good ol' perdana is awesome.. :) Thanks dad! Reached home in about 3 hours.. considering we got a bit lost in Puchong (I felt adventurous and turned off at Puchong instead of my usual place farther up..), it was a pretty decent timing. Hehe.

I still don't know WHAT possessed me to suggest I would drive to Kluang! I still remember myself just blurting out that I'll drive there. -_- I didn't even bother checking the place out properly, just printed out the map of Kluang that I was emailed. All I knew was I was to get on the North-South highway, head to Johor Bahru. Haha. After that I drove till I realised I had no idea which exit to turn off! After that I realised I had no idea how to find the place. Haha. As if I was riding a bicycle/on foot and can simply walk until I find the place. Neway, since I was headed to FWP.. naturally we didn't get lost =P Thanks to Him! Haha. (Though honestly, if the parents of those other 3 had known how completely clueless I was about reaching Kluang they would have been deathly worried. =D)

Still, it was a good journey. Good company, relatively good music.. so far no saman in my postbox.. :)

Neway..

So many things going on.. dreading these coming 6 weeks! :( Too cram too many things to do.. I feel like quitting something.. hmm... squash?

God is my strength :-) And of course next sem onwards I'll not be involved in so many activities. Haha. I want time to sit back, kick back, and relax! (Cause the badminton people in UM don't seem particularly friendly so I feel like returning to my good ol' long lost badminton groups. I wonder if they are still playing..?)

Am off.. assignment time... zzzzzz...

Have a great weekend! :-)

God bless,
Jo

Kluang Kluang Kluang

Sounds onomatopoetic after a while.. Kluang kluang kluang kluaaaang..

Neway, headed there this afternoon till this Friday. Will be cut off from the civilised world till then.. ;-)

My hp gonna be contactable only to my mom =P Cause I'm her lifeline.. no one else has that excuse. Hahaha.

(Wai Yan's staring at me type sooo... entertain her a bit lah hor)

She's only contactable through me through my mom through HER mom through UM through UL.. aiyah you want to contact her just call her lah! Haha. Now she says sms can.. don't call.

Oki, am off to Jonker street and kicking Elaine out of bed (it's the other way around I think). :)

God bless!
Jo

Do not ever...

Drink 2 big cups of chinese tea late at night. I felt sleepy but couldn't sleep until about 5.30am! And I promised to fetch 2 friends to church too, so I couldn't very well wake up late..! Because of that all my plans for today tergendala (what's a suitable english word for this??)..

Was supposed to attend yet another funeral today.. a guy whom I barely knew, his dad passed away. But since I do know him a bit I felt I should go.. but just couldn't wake up.. went home to sleep right after church and was a dead log 4+pm. Woke up with a growling stomach.

I'm supposed to go to climb Gasing hill at 5.30pm today.. but body just doesn't feel up to it, am afraid my heart stops beating halfway due to lack of sleep. =P (Well technically I caught up on my sleep, slept 3+ hours, but.. excuses. hehe.)

At least 4 people in church asked me how my trip back to Malacca was.. because I didn't show up for all the weekday events in church the whole of last week, maybe? And I also mentioned about wanting to go back to Malacca before.. haha. To set the record straight, I've not been back to Malacca, wanted to but this this and that that popped up.. so.. I've been in my beloved PJ all this while. :)

FWP is next week, will stop by Malacca for a day before heading down to Kluang though. :) I have no idea how I'll find my way to Kluang and around Kluang.. with 3 passengers who will be equally as lost as I am.. but we'll cover that journey with prayer! :)

After all the excessively rich and unhealthy food the past week, I've got to start cutting down.. starting today. And I've got to start exercising.. thought I'll get to play more badminton in UM, but sessions there have been few and far between.

Did I mention that I managed to get the JPA scholarship? Guess they forgot that I had so rudely turned them down without so much as a letter after SPM. Hehehe. Wanna buy... a new acoustic guitar with plug in! =P Actually wanted to buy a new phone too, but I'll have to compromise the quality/price of my guitar then.. so I'll prioritise my guitar over a phone that'll spoil soon enough anyway. My current phone was bought by my parents after SPM results.. they were high after their dearest daughter-who-played-badminton-non-stop-even-during-SPM managed to do so well. ;-) I'll keep it for now la.. giving some problems but only occasionally..

Anyway, this Raya hols is way too packed.. my next hols I'm gonna just relax.. go somewhere relaxing.. next hols no more assignments, we're given THREE freakin weeks to study -_- so.. hahaha. Who needs 3 weeks to study for so few papers in your first sem?? Will holiday a bit lor. =D I feel like going somewhere... islandy. Enough of shopping malls and shopping and mmm just plain man-made stuff. I need a break..! Reminiscing the awesome Pangkor trip I had with my coach and some locals + Australians for a badminton training camp.. I love beaches! =) Clean ones.. and rivers! Clean ones.. island trip, anyone? Yan yan.. if you still read my blog... let's go! =D

(Can't believe I'm already planning for my next holidays! This hol also not yet finish..)

Have a blessed day :-)
Jo

By the way, I have realised that a great deal of Manglish has lately crept into my blog posts. I'm not entirely sure why, but I suspect it could be due to the fact that I have to use proper Engrish in all my assignments and when speaking to lecturers, so this blog is a rant for the Manglish side. Makes sense, no? :-)

Exactly 1 week more of holidays... -_-

Only done 1 assignment so far! :-(

Had an aweesooome time with old church friends today. At least, us young people did. The older ones had a therapeutic session discussing the wounds that were/still are being inflicted unto them. Hearing some things made that same old frustration in me well up again.. but what can we as men do? Oh well..

They came over for lunch at about 12+/1+, and talked and talked and talked till.. 11+pm! Gila? Originally planned to have a lunch.. then ended up dinner together too. Haha.

But really, it was good. Especially for my mom. :-) Kinda lonely for her these days I think.. me being so busy. *sigh*

Anyway, good fellowship, good food = good day! =)

My cousin just sent me this song.. I'll post the lyrics here:

Framing Hanley - You Stupid Girl


Feels like the walls are closing in on me
I'm suffocating, I can barely breathe
And you've got me right where you want me

This is the side of you I've never seen
You're not the girl that you used to be
And you've got me right where you want me

You always know, how to bring me down
Let's just face it now, I'm never changin'

You are my world, my everything
You stupid girl, you're gonna be the death of me
So let me go, just let me be
You stupid girl, I love the way you're killing me
(killing me)
You stupid girl

You're like an angel but with broken wings
A heart so cold can never show mercy
And you've got me right where you want me

You are my world, my everything
You stupid girl, you're gonna be the death of me
So let me go, just let me be
You stupid girl, I love the way you're killing me
(killing me)
You stupid girl (killing me)
You stupid girl

I know I'm a bastard, I'm not a coward
Why can't you see what you're doin' to me?
I'm falling faster, more every hour
Why can't you see what you're doin' to me?

Open your eyes, open your eyes

This is killing me

You are my world, my everything
You stupid girl, you're gonna be the death of me
So let me go, just let me be
You stupid girl, I love the way you're killing me
(killing me)
You stupid girl (killing me)
You stupid girl

Interesting song? He sent me another song that's just too vulgar for this innocent blog of mine.. Songs that are written these days... I could blog a whole blog about them.

But considering how uninspired and tired I feel right now, I'll not bother.

Oh Oh Oh! I had a ride on Joash's super motorbike today! Lol. It was exhilarating like a roller coaster ride in Genting.. because I knew if I had let go there were no safety harnesses to hold me in place. =P

God bless,
Jo

Happy Raya! (Got such thing??)

Haha. :-) I spent most of today sleeping... slept at 4am, woke up 10am to go for a funeral (yeah.. another funeral... mom's friend's mother.. tis the season for death me thinks), came back home, slept till Ikea man kacau.. cause I bought a new bookshelf! For my many many books =D

If I'm a millionaire next time.. I'll have a whole huge room turned into a library! =)

Haha. Since I'm pretty sure I won't become a millionaire (I've no idea how I'll even earn a decent living) I'll stick to turning a small room into a library.. starting with my bedroom. :-) Recently gave away a lot of my small kid books, books that I grew up with.. mostly all bought from Pay Less books (one of the few places where you can get decent and cheap books).. but kept some of my favourite books. :-) These books I read and reread throughout the years.. in fact, I felt as if it was only yesterday that I had read some of them.. till I saw a label on one of the books.. Joanne Lim 1 K.. lol. Form 1... 7 years ago! I was but a fat and short kid back then.. Now slightly less-fat and maybe 1 or 2 cm taller. Hehe.

I keep turning around to admire the books even as I type this post.. Because I had given away about 1/4 of my books, some of the shelves are empty.. since they look so bare and empty I've no choice but to fill them up again. Right? =P Unfortunately I've pretty much stopped buying a few books at one go because Pay Less books in Atria, then 1 Utama closed down.. Buying 1 book in MPH/Borders would equal to 5-6 good books from Pay Less! Having (unfortunately) learnt Economics as a subject in school, I always decide the price won't fulfill enough utility. Haha. So I end up with way fewer books.. and also because I've hardly spent time the past year reading.. due to this and that, blabla.. But my bare shelves will inspire me! =) I hope.

My yahoo email has been causing problems.. I discovered that it's been sending out spam to others.. well, I used to think it was to myself, but today I checked my spam and saw that so many messages have been bouncing back.. from my own email! I've been sending out spam to everyone on my list... and considering that yahoo was one of my first emails ever, that's a massive lot of people.

Which.. isn't too bad.. until... I realised that even my LECTURERS have been receiving the spam..! :-( Both my IPDA and UM lecturers... oh no. A student has been sending out good deals on Viagra and such to them... there goes my marks....

Any idea how to solve that problem?? Please help...

God bless,
Jo

Arrrgh I feel so dang horribly bad :( I promised to visit an aunty today but totally completely forgot about it. Too many things cluttering my mind. *sigh* Itulah my mind too focused on my stomach! Only remembered about the 20s dinner tonight. Cannot believe I forgot about the visit. I could have forgotten about the dinner but remembered the visit… instead I forgot the visit and remembered the dinner! 5 A student kononnya…

Haih feel so bad :( How do you make it up to an aunty for forgetting an important thing liddat??

Better start writing down all my appointments and plans.. I thought I could trust my brain to remember everything. I think I’ve got something on tomorrow… but can’t recall what. Or maybe I’m just paranoid now. Zzz.

Woke up to the sound of drilling and no electricity. My house has been under renovation for the longest time now because these contractors are so unreliable and show up randomly to do some work. This time they disappeared about 2 weeks and this morning suddenly came back. Cousin’s car got stolen.. good thing we’ve got an extra car, lent it to her. Her brother’s car just got stolen few months back. My family’s car has been stolen before. My Kenari has been broken in before. In fact, most Malaysians would have had some kinda experience with these car thieves. So much for Malaysia’s crime rate going down.

I’m just babbling. Still not happy with my forgetting.

Think I’ll just go and sleep.

Raya Hols!

But it's already PACKED. Before I even BEGAN to enjoy my holidays. Haiyoyo. I feel so utterly stressed. I'm getting even less sleep than during the sem!

Sigh. How lah.

People's favourite question when they see me is, "So.. got bf from UM or not?? *wink wink*"

My answer.. Takde lah. Even if a guy ever wanted me at the rate I'm going I'll have absolutely no time for him. Unless he doesn't mind late night dates.. really late night dates. Like, how I went out for a drink with friends tonight at 12.30am and got back at 2.40am. And how I'll be doing that tomorrow night too. Because I don't have other times. :-(

Mmm, anyway..

I'm dreading the end of these 2 weeks holidays. It'll be a COMPLETE mad rush then. 4 major assignments to complete, not even including the minor assignments yet. I'm representing my college in squash and badminton. I'm in the committee for the debate competition. And I somehow or other got involved as the secretary of the upcoming CF camp.

Nooooooooooooo. :(

Uni is teaching me some very very painful lessons... how to be consistent, and not last minute. I enjoy classes, I just detest the assignments. Haiz. Gone were the days when I played until the final 2 weeks before exams. :(

Off to bed! I'm fine, just tired. :)

God bless,
Jo

Yet another funeral...

How many funerals have I attended this year?? 10? 11? Around there.

Death...

mmm. Decided to skip my lectures yesterday and took the LRT, interchanged to Star LRT, walked to Bukit Jalil bus station, took bus down to Malacca in the morning for my uncle's funeral. I was planning to go after my lectures, but decided, what the heck, just skip lectures and take the morning bus back. Pretty uneventful journey, other than getting harassed by all the ticketing pimps/gangsters/agents, watching a guy being dragged by his collar, blatant corruption in front of everyone, and changing bus halfway at the Ayer Keroh toll (the driver suddenly ordered all those stopping at Malacca to get down and board another bus which he stopped at the toll).. ok, maybe it wasn't such an uneventful trip after all.

At the funeral... politics, as usual. What's new, eh? I'm beginning to think every death results in politics, whether rich or poor, young or old.

Anyway, came back home, logged on my com, and *gasped* all my work. -_- I'm beginning to HATE the internet. If there were no communication no one would be able to pass me work when they don't see me. :(

Off to work.

God bless,
Jo

Living for today

Just a few days ago I realised that I practically live each day for another day (does that make sense?). From Mondays to Thursdays, I look forward to Fridays. On Fridays, I look forward to the start of my weekend. On Sundays, I attempt to step on my emergency brakes to prevent Monday from starting all over again.

The only time I thoroughly live for the present would be weekends. Which practically constitutes only about 30% of the whole week! That means I spend 70% of my week waiting for another day!!

Thing is, I don't have to live like that. I do not dread uni, in fact, I actually LIKE uni. Unlike school days where I just 'existed' in classes, I now LEARN new things in classes and lectures. Classes are really enlightening.

I think it's just a bad habit. Which I have to get rid of. I can't keep living like these for the rest of my life.. that would mean I only really live 30% of my whole life.. ok, a bit more if you wanna include holidays. And that is a scary thought.

I'm off to begin in life with a new perspective! (And yes, your life does change with a change of perspectives.)

Had a disastrous piano lesson today. Haha. I'm debating whether I'm just plain retarded in the piano, or I need to put in more effort. Undoubtedly I put in way more effort on my classical guitar.. but that's because the classical guitar can be played anywhere, anytime. As for the piano..

Must make more effort...

Live for today. ;-)

God bless
Jo

Still trying to find a balance between work and play... I refuse to let work take over my life. These are my final few years as a student!

Have to drive down to Malacca this Monday, uncle passed away. :( I'm already thinking. Lecture finishes at 3, go down to Malacca, come back up Tuesday night. I could have gone back on Friday, but I wanted to spend my weekend working on my assignments. I'm still puzzled as to why they want to have the funeral over a span of so many days, none of us are travelling from too far. Max 4 hours away? As a result most of us can only be at the funeral parlour 3 days or so. Most of the rest will miss the funeral (burial) this Tuesday. I decided I'm going for the burial. Sitting around a few days with a coffin is tiresome and brings back too many memories of the distant and not-so-distant past.

Wednesday I've got an assignment due. So I've got to finish the assignment by tomorrow, because realistically speaking, you can't do work during a funeral. Other than handling morbid funeral logistics.

Hmm. Thinking aloud.

God bless,
Jo

Life

Been rather busy the past few days, am still adjusting to uni life. I enjoy the relaxed atmosphere of classes, of course. All you need is a pen, some paper, a bit of reading before class, and you're all set and ready to go! To understand your lecturer that day, I mean. Haha.

Still trying to maintain piano & guitar playing everyday.. trying. It's a good thing my piano teacher went off for quite a while, so I've had time to not worry about piano classes while I was really a noob in uni. Hehe.

The only things that are suffering with the start of uni are the techy stuff at home and bill payments. Ok lah, I really don't know 2 hoots about solving technical problems if it doesn't involve a loose wire that can be fixed back easily. The internet has been absolutely rotten, even after TMNet came a few times, and precious money has been spent on them TWICE. Because I thought they would be a better job than some other outside techman. Oh boy, was I wrong.

As for the bills... I've not paid a bill in the longest time. *I wonder where they all are.* Guess I'll wait till our electricity supply, astro, phone line etc. are cut off before I take action.

Nah. I'll have to spend this weekend searching for all the bills. I work so much in uni and hostel I usually just wanna come home and laze about.. that's why I've been avoiding the bills. So many numbers involved. -_- I don't like numbers.

Dang! I've not paid the credit bills in the longest time.. that's the killer, with their unreasonable interest rates. At least the others just threaten to cut off their service.

Oh yeah, I'm real glad dad bought the original Microsoft home/student edition. I would never have been willing to spend so much money to get it, and even when he bought it he never used it. Just left it around.. for me? The way he taught me to pay bills online and wanted us to have the best of things after his final visit to the hospital and doctors told him he need no longer go to the hospital... haha, he insisted I buy the keyboard just because I mentioned it. As my birthday present. :) But anyway, in uni now I'm really glad I have that original copy, don't have to contend with the problems that most of my friends are having with pirated software.. namely the product key problem. Some of my friends now use notepad to do their work. Ah.. friends. :) Such a lovely ring to that word. Haha. Love my bunch of Engrish people.. fun & easy to talk to peeps. No cliques! That's the most important. I suppose I hardly had time to really mingle with my form 6 friends before, what with all the havoc going on in life. But now I've got time, and I can really call them friends. :-)

Hmmm. exhausted. lack of sleep the past few days. The days I stay over in hostel I sometimes wake up sweating because being atop the double decker means the fan doesn't reach me. But if I'm sitting on my desk my wet hair can dry in under 10 mins! That's better than a hair dryer, I tell you.

Haha, I'm blurting out random facts today. Probably 'cause I just read my dad's office's magazine and their tribute to him. Such an amazing man... I remember one of his closest friends refusing to accept reality and not visiting my dad until the last few days of his life. I'm glad he finally came though, a bit later and he would harbour guilt for life. What struck me was the way this friend held his hand, looked at him, and hardly ever, ever uttered a word. For hours, just sitting by the bed. My dad did most of the talking.. with the little talking he could manage by that stage. He boasted my STPM results! Haha. I tell ya, I'm sure glad he had 7 days to tell others about my STPM results. God must have granted me such results just to give dad some joy during the last few days of his life. And to tell him that he didn't even have to worry about his youngest daughter because she would be able to survive in this world.

Yesterday someone referred to me as an 'anak yatim'. I was quick to deny that fact, until it hit me, I am an anak yatim, just not an anak yatim piatu. In the English sense, 'orphan' would not apply to me, but in Malay, yes.

Looking forward to the Raya hols, I need a good break from life.

Of the lighter things in life

Lecturer: What is the theme of this passage?

Me: The benefits of travelling...??

L: Ok... the benefits of travelling are what?

Me: er... the benefits of travelling are.... many??

L: What?? The benefits of travelling are MEN?? It's a bit too early in the day to think about MEN, isn't it??

(I actually CHECKED my watch when I heard that. 1.01pm.)

Me: *Completely befuddled face before realising what he heard* Noo.. MANY.

L: MEN???!

Me: MANYYY....

L: OH, MANY...

-_- This has got to be the worst mishearing I've ever encountered with a teacher/lecturer. Friends don't need to say la, most are too corrupted beyond hope. Haha.

The benefits of travelling are MEN??

Oh my I feel as if I've just made a trip to Thailand for 'benefits'.

UM is ONE!

Having come from mediocre schools, a week in UM was a huge difference to me. All the time we hear about UM being the best uni in the country, the most prestigious uni in the country.. the most this and the most that (remember to add the words 'in the country!' or else..).

LOL. Still, as the top uni the country, I'm sure the students will reap the benefits of belonging to it. So I'm not complaining. ;-)

I survived orientation week! It was tough at first, but things worked out in the end. It was pretty traumatising at times due to certain issues, but it's an experience I won't regret.

I'm exhausted, it's off to bed for me. Classes commence this Monday, and I'll be learning Thai in my minor! Hehehehe.

Things seem to be falling in place, and I can only think of one reason why. ;-) Guess He really does know what's best for us, eh?

God bless ya!
Jo

Me thinks..

It's awesome to be a nature-lover in Malaysia. Things drop by so so so easily. The rest of us non-nature-loving peeps work dog-hard and sometimes end up with dog poop.

Ah well. Stark realities of life.

:-)

Starting orientation next week!

Of Death and Life

Went for Roland Wee & family's funeral in Nilai today.

It was heart-breaking. The sight of 4 coffins lined up side by side before being buried is something few people ever witness (The grandmother's funeral was at a different site, else it would have been FIVE coffins lined up). The deceased ranged from age 15 to 79, so the spectrum of people who came for the service varied just as much. From young people still in their school uniform, to old uncles and aunties who couldn't walk by themselves. Heart-wrenching.

The survivors, mother, son, and daughter, stuck in a hospital, unable to attend their loved ones' funeral. The 13 year old son in a coma, fighting for his life even as I type.

My parents' old churchmates, all from Bethel church, gathering together. The last time I saw all of them was during my dad's funeral. They told me they used to hang out as youth in their church. Now, all I see them meeting together for is during funerals, as their group gets smaller and smaller. Nevertheless, their spirit amazes me. Despite everything, they told me to push on, to hold fast to God's word, and to be a prayer warrior. One old uncle told me, "It's our time to pass the baton to your generation." I suppose as they meet each other at one another's funeral, they realise that indeed, the battle cannot stop at their generation, because it's a battle that has yet to end.

Everyone remembered me hoping to get into UM the last time they met me, just a week after my STPM results. They looked genuinely happy when I told them I was given my 1st choice, Bachelor of Arts (English) in UM. :) Pastor Johnny (Roland Wee's brother) told me, "God does have His plans eh..." Somehow that comment wasn't assuring me, it seemed to be filled with questions, and Pastor Johnny seemed to be taking assurance from ME that yes, God's plan does work out in the end. He was an amazing pillar of support during my dad's last days, and I'm sorry I cannot be the same to him in this trying time. I really don't know why this family was torn apart in a twinkling of an eye, and it hurt so much to see the deep sorrow and pain in everyone today, from people of all ages. Still, all I can say is, the battle must go on. We have to pick up the broken pieces from life-shattering events and fight on. Casualties have always been part of a war, but we have the amazing assurance that we will meet once again in heaven.

Grim matters aside, I was offered my 1st choice, Bachelor of Arts (English) in UM. :-) I'll be starting on the 4th of July.. a whole week of orientation. They better not mess with me...

Things have been picking up slowly. Today's chat with the older generation was truly a slap in my face. I've been taking things too easily of late. Have to quit resting on my laurels.

God bless,
Jo

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Road accident

Today I heard about a gruesome accident that killed 5 people in a family, leaving a wife and 2 kids behind. Smses were coming in through my mom's hp because we know the brother of Roland Wee (my parents knew Roland too.) I knew such an accident would have made it into the news, and I checked the online papers.

It's terrifying to think that people whom you're eating and laughing with during breakfast could be gone the next hour, in an accident that was in no way their fault.

Life is indeed fragile and short. Here today.. gone tomorrow. Here this hour.. gone the next.

I can only imagine the sorrow, pain, grief, shock, confusion, and WHYs the survivors are feeling right now. I'm told that one of the kids is 'in shock', and I hardly find that surprising. Even when I was given time to prepare for death I still find it unbelievable at times, up to today. What more these accident victims?

If the smses are correct, one of the 2 kids is still fighting for his/her life in the ICU. So they are probably too busy worrying about him/her to sort out their feelings now.

I'm told that time heals pain. But I know that one never heals completely, and deep wounds can reopen and hurt at anytime of your life. However, we've got our almighty God with us, and do save our Whys for Him. No one on earth can answer us, unless you want to hear some bull-crap answer, not being careful, fate, etc.

My deepest condolences to Roland Wee's surviving family. I know the pain of losing a parent and a sibling, although those losses were in different situations.

Life's one mighty big question mark at times, eh?

(And really, I just don't have it in me to post bimbo posts.)

Got back from church camp yesterday.

I did superbly stupid thing.. I drove although I was so so soo tired, and I felt as if I could nod off at any moment (on the highway la, mind was too busy processing on the winding road down to feel sleepy). I've decided I gotta drive all the time now if I visit highlands cause I didn't feel sick at all.. a first time ever! Haha.

But anyway, got back safely. Great time at camp, spent time with people I don't usually hang out with. ;-)

Think I'll be blogging less frequently now cause I think there are unwanted people reading this blog.. I could of course open this blog only to friends, but that defeats the whole purpose of this blog. This blog was never meant to be a personal, confidential diary because I simply will not blog about personal issues in detail. Just vague references here and there that most probably won't understand anyway. Many of made completely wrong assumptions when I blog because this blog was never meant to open my whole private life to others. =P Still, it's a breach of privacy when some people read, so I'll just blog less lah. And I'll stick to light stuff like piano, guitar... Hahaha. A bimbo blog? ;-)

God bless ya!
Jo

Focussing..

How long does a deep wound take to heal?

Does time really heal all wounds?

No, time does not. I know that for a fact.

I seem to be merely existing these days.

Abandoned some commitments. But if my heart isn't right, I'm taking a step back. Either give it my all, or don't give anything. No half-heartedness from me.

So tiring.

I wish... I wish.. gah, wishes are whims and fancies of a fool.

Help me please, Lord?

Of cults and heresies

Is it wrong to get angry and frustrated over some things that should be in the historical bin, yet appears out of nowhere time and time again?

It's agonising to watch and to be unable to do anything. Sure, I can retaliate, but it won't make a difference. So why bother?

Why are churches teaching its people to love and to be enslaved to money??

So much for being unable to serve both God and mammon.

Proof I love the classical guitar

I'm darned agitated now 'cause my guitar's D string snapped and I can't play it. Arrgh. I have an extra set but if I use only the D string of the whole packet it'll mean the other strings have to be exposed for dunno how long. Should have bought a set that didn't support saving the environment so much, and packed the strings separately. Oh well.

Guitar exam :-)

Had my classical guitar exam (grade 4) yesterday. :-)

How'd it go?

My scales went pretty well, no dumb dumb mistakes. My pieces were.. er, had minor slips here and there. It was a good thing the examiner was busy writing as I played Etude in E minor, because my left hand made a mighty slide.. right OFF the fingerboard. LOL. But I recovered quickly enough that there was no pause.. I hope.

Viva voce- understanding about my pieces and music in general, I think it went the best. It figures, doesn't it? The part I think I did the best in was worth the least marks. 7%. -_- Oh well. Haha. It so happened the day before I checked on Matteo Carcassi's background (composer for my 1st piece).. and was asked for his nationality during the exam! Lol. If I didn't know that it would have been awfully obvious that I hadn't done ANY study for that. =P

Sight reading.. Ok la, except I played my final note wrongly. BAD mistake. But it wasn't an obvious one, just an F that's a whole octave lower than the printed notation. -_- Blur moment. The guitar has too many notes la!

Aural tests- Haha. Screwed, to be put it crudely. :-) When the examiner laughs at you.. LOL. I've looked at the grade 6 aural tests, it's EVEN WORSE. Oh my.

Still, I felt good after the exam. My last music exam was when I was 14 (grade 6 piano), I think.. wait, I KNOW I've matured a lot since then. The way I handled myself, the way I continued playing despite errors, pretending to know a lot when I actually don't know much during the viva voce.. I used to give one word answers last time. =P The student that came out before my turn looked completely TRAUMATISED, before and after. When I went in, I found the music stand DIRECTLY infront of the stool, hence blocking the soundhole from the examiner. I think that's the most important part in playing the guitar, ensuring that nothing blocks the sound between your guitar soundhole and the examiner. To have forgotten that just speaks of how nervous that poor girl was. I think I used to be like that. Mmm.

My teacher said that I 'got good results' cause he talked to the examiner later. I'm just glad I didn't fail. Hahaha. If fail my first guitar exam then no hope to go on di la.. I put in more effort than my previous piano exams somemore. He said he won't tell me my marks till he sees the mark sheet with the comments.. haha. I'm scrambling my brains to figure out if I made any mistakes that he pointed out before.. =P

Mmm, maybe I should have told him ALL my blunders. Hahaha. But hey, the comment sheet has only that much space, not everything can be in.. right?

Will be starting grade 6 soon, looks like the guitar is gonna surpass and thrash my piano soon.. haih. The guitar requires so much more control and accuracy, yet I seem to be grasping it just fine, as compared to the piano..

Must put in more effort for my piano. Haha. If I drop out again, I don't think I'll pick it up again. -_-

Anyway, that's all,

God bless!
Jo

Churchified

Had a loong loong talk with a friend today.

She brought up the topic about how often times, Christians are so wrapped up in their own 'church world' that they simply forget about the (real) secular world out there. The innocent view they hold of their surroundings, friends, people, human beings in general... it's astounding, really. She was just telling me (innocently) of how much of a 'culture shock' she suffered when she eventually had to mix with the real world (which all of us have to, eventually, no matter how protected or sheltered your church attempts to keep you). Pornography, sex outside marriage, open relationships, lying and cheating for survival (and for fun), betraying trusts to fulfill your own selfish desires.. the list drags on.

Heck, it happens. What shocked me was that this friend of mine NEVER knew about it, and had the impression that such 'evil deeds' are few and far between.

Which brings into question, what is the church of today sheltering us all from??? Yes, we're not to be involved in all these. But to be innocent/naive of it all? Does the church really expect us to remain 'churchified' our whole lives?(Indubitably producing 'churchified' Christians whose lives merely revolve around their respective churches without venturing out would be the devil's greatest joy, me thinks.) Needless to say, it is impossible to remain within the 4 walls of the church for our whole lives. Aren't we supposed to be OUT THERE? Did Jesus choose to remain in some temple during His whole 33.5 years of living? Were all His followers found in a church/temple?

Frankly, I find this attempt to completely shelter rather dangerous. I've met kids who had parents who really protected them from the world. No going out with friends without proper chaperons, no watching certain types of movies, no reading certain types of books, no taking public transport, no walking... all with noble albeit paranoid intentions, I'm sure. But some end up as innocent as babies that they simply cannot penetrate the social circle when they leave their parents' nests. Or end up being conned by the less-innocent people. And some others? As the 'forbidden fruit law' goes, everything that was banned during the vital stages of their lives is suddenly indulged in greedily, without a sense of control. Of course this doesn't apply to all kids..

Likewise, a church who attempts to shelter Christians from all these 'worldly stuff' may just find her plan backfiring.

Or maybe, it just comes down to the nature of a person. Some just grow up innocent, others don't.

I don't know, really.

Still, good food for thought, eh? ;-)

God bless,
Jo

CV

I was asked to 'add abit about your family and your secret to achieve[sic] such good results' for my CV on Hari Kecemerlangan Akademik day.

-_-

What in the world am I supposed to add about my family??? My dad was warded in the middle of STPM, my mom was his full-time nurse, and I fended for myself the whole STPM year??

My secret is simple; God's grace. But I doubt they'll announce that on Speech day.

Wisdom, please, Lord.

Growing Up

To quote Soo-Inn Tan, "To grow up is to learn about the reality of death, about its power to take away the people you love, about its finality, about the sorrow it brings, and about the fact that it is the one sure thing about being human. Death is the human universal."

I learnt about death from a really young age. Some kids took funerals as play-play events. I remember the first funeral I attended, my grandpa's. I was 4 or 5 I think. Even back then, tears would flow. Somehow, at a tender age, I was gifted with compassion.

However, knowing the reality of death doesn't make it any easier to accept as I grow up. In fact, it seems just as hard, if not harder, each time.

So many things to do, hardly any idea on how to tackle half of them. I'm supposed to apply for scholarships too, but just too many things to handle.

I'm good as escaping. But I know I can't escape forever.

Aye. Growing up's awfully tough. It's times like these that I realise how useful my stubborn streak of independence is though.

This thought crossed my mind (random thought ahead!).. I've never been the kind of girl who lists down the top 10 criteria for my future husband. Ok, I've mentioned a few, but only in jest. Haha, ask me to rename them and I can't. Apart from not being afraid of lizards. ;-) Today I just suddenly thought, 'I want a man who makes me love God more.' That's it, such a simple criteria. But quite, quite tough to find. In order to get a man like that, I have to be a woman who makes HIM love God more. And in order to become such a woman, I have to start giving God His due place in my life.. my utmost priority in life.

Help me to love you more each day, Lord.

God bless,
Jo