Growing Up

To quote Soo-Inn Tan, "To grow up is to learn about the reality of death, about its power to take away the people you love, about its finality, about the sorrow it brings, and about the fact that it is the one sure thing about being human. Death is the human universal."

I learnt about death from a really young age. Some kids took funerals as play-play events. I remember the first funeral I attended, my grandpa's. I was 4 or 5 I think. Even back then, tears would flow. Somehow, at a tender age, I was gifted with compassion.

However, knowing the reality of death doesn't make it any easier to accept as I grow up. In fact, it seems just as hard, if not harder, each time.

So many things to do, hardly any idea on how to tackle half of them. I'm supposed to apply for scholarships too, but just too many things to handle.

I'm good as escaping. But I know I can't escape forever.

Aye. Growing up's awfully tough. It's times like these that I realise how useful my stubborn streak of independence is though.

This thought crossed my mind (random thought ahead!).. I've never been the kind of girl who lists down the top 10 criteria for my future husband. Ok, I've mentioned a few, but only in jest. Haha, ask me to rename them and I can't. Apart from not being afraid of lizards. ;-) Today I just suddenly thought, 'I want a man who makes me love God more.' That's it, such a simple criteria. But quite, quite tough to find. In order to get a man like that, I have to be a woman who makes HIM love God more. And in order to become such a woman, I have to start giving God His due place in my life.. my utmost priority in life.

Help me to love you more each day, Lord.

God bless,
Jo