IPDA-NEVER GOING BACK. NEVER.

I reached home today after school, and noticed a missed call on my handphone. It was a Kedah number, so I thought IPDA called me. Later on I asked my mom if IPDA called her. They did. You know what they did?

I don't know what to say. Tears of anger and frustration was my reaction. This man is ruthless, heartless, bestial, whatever similar words you can find. He shouted at my mom! Started threatening her, saying that I was trying to escape, saying that my letters were all a bluff (who would lie about cancer? I'm making my dad have cancer in a letter just to escape??), I just wanted to escape IPDA, I broke my contract, I now have to pay back RM 110k, demanding about my priorities, etc etc etc.

Besides, what is wrong if I just want to leave IPDA? I've been contemplating it ever since day one. They ought to ask themselves why, not victimize the already downtrodden(students). Even if dad didn't have cancer, if I had seen the true character of this man, I would have left. Come what hell he may give me. I am who I am, I will NOT be shouted at by a power-crazy man created to torture students. I've never taken well to the mad power exercised by PBSM commanders during camps, I'm taking this very very much worse. PBSM camp commanders are trivial compared to this man.

I don't know what to say to this. What is this man? Is a heart such a rare thing to possess nowadays? He's ruined the good name of IPDA in my eyes. Whatever good they may have possessed in my eyes is gone. Finished. Stripped away forever. Degraded to a place where they imprison unhappy souls ruled by tyrants. No, I will not say I exaggerate. Nor are they metaphors, these words I use. To have such a husband, dad, or son would be a terrifying thing to me. Animals lack compassion(even then, some good pet dogs can show compassion), but not human beings. That is why we human beings are different. What went wrong, what hardened this man until he has to torment others who are already suffering?

My mom did not stoop to his level. She tried to explain what the Bahagian Pendidikan Guru(BPG) said to her etc. He refused to listen, so she just patiently endured his abuse(I salute her, I would have hung up) until he realised that hey, this lady isn't shouting back at me. Then she explained the situation to him, what we are going to do, and politely requested for further details on what paperwork needs to be done. That was the original plan, IPDA was supposed to inform me about the further paperwork needed, what they will post to me. Only at the end he quietly asked if I was the only child left at home.

The BPG lady was right. She said, "If you don't trust IPDA to forward the letter to BPG, make another copy and send it to the BPG yourself." Perhaps they too know about the state of things in IPs, or perhaps IPDA?

It's one thing to shout at a student. It's a completely different thing to shout at a parent, what more a fellow senior teacher! Perhaps even more senior than him. I'm boiling mad at him. How much more does my mom need to go through?? We're fighting for a life here! We don't need to be bogged down by such trivial things that should be settled amicably.

If I ever felt any pang, any tinge of regret for leaving IPDA, it's all gone. I'm glad I'm home, and I'm here to stay. I'm going to pull through form 6, and will never step a foot into IPDA again. Or any other Institut Perguruan (IP) for that matter. One rotten egg spoils 20 fresh ones (in this case, 26 others).

On the other hand, my school teachers have been nothing less than caring. I have school teachers taking time to talk to me personally to ensure things are all right, that I'm feeling okay, how I'm coping with form 6, offering me extra help. THIS was where my love for teaching was rooted. Notice the word, 'was'. Some people asked me if I would consider teaching again after form 6. Few months back, I would have given an immediate 'yes'. However, as I told those who asked me... "I'm not sure anymore. I'm afraid of the teaching profession now, after IPDA."

I suppose some people think I lack mettle, some people think, "How bad can IPDA be?" I don't know how to describe it to you, my friends. It's easy and comfortable to get through life without opening your eyes to what truly goes on, but I chose to open my eyes to everything. I hated what I saw, but I'm glad I decided what I did after I saw what others refused to see.

To fellow IPDA students, hang in there! Or else leave. As BPG said, it's not IPDA that picks the students. So by right, IPDA cannot stop us from leaving. They may shout at us all they want, but if they watch their students slowly trickle away, they'll realise something is wrong. Whether they choose to change or not, I'm not staying around to see.

On a side note, today my Econs teacher told my class, "No one can get lower than Joanne for finals!" Talk about... lack of pressure. HAHAHA. I take it as a challenge though. My finals are next week. =P

Take care, God bless,
Jo