I left home on the 14th of July, 2008. To study, to achieve a dream I harboured since a relatively young age. My departure was sudden, unexpected, none expected me to leave home at age 17.
You too departed on the 14th of July, only it was 10 years ago. Your departure, foreseen many years before, caused a 7 year old child to mature overnight, to realise that life is no bed of roses. 2 kids slept without their parents for the 1st time in their young lives during the night of your departure. See how much important you are?
Tears were shed for both our departures. More tears for yours, or mine? Hearts were prepared for yours, hearts weren't prepared for mine. Yet yours was a permanent earthly good-bye, mine was merely a temporal one. That was probably the only time in my whole 17 years of life that I wailed and wept so hard, and everyone around me was helpless, not knowing how to comfort me. After your departure, I hardly ever cry, up to today. A good thing, or not? I've been hardened, I suppose. Life has treated me pretty harshly at times but thanks to you, I pull through all things with minimal damage.
I marveled at the day I reached 16. You know why.
On the day I said good-bye to you, I never imagined I would be leaving home exactly 10 years later. Truth be told, I still can't believe it. People who live in PJ don't usually leave home for studies unless they go overseas.
Thanks for teaching me so much. In your own silent manner you gave me many lessons that so few ever learn at such a tender age. I'm sorry that I was ashamed of you before. :-( You are my fuel now though, even after 10 years. Just for your information, the lessons you taught, the gifts you left, have far from faded away.
You were given permission to let go of us, albeit unwillingly, but still, the departure date had arrived. The 14th of July.
Well, anyway, take comfort in the fact that you are in a better place than I am right now! Hahaha. Can't wait for the day I leave for it too. :-) I mean, yeah, seriously you should take a look at the place I'm in compared to yours! I won't bore you with the details though, just letting you know that I'm finally settled in, had a rough first few weeks but things have been going uphill since then.
That being said..
I don't think the 14th of July, 2008 was a coincidence. A reminder, perhaps?
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
To be Malaysian..
IPDA has many many functions and talks that we are 'encouraged'(ie., FORCED) to attend. The latest one was one that made me feel like standing up and debating with the speaker. It was a forum on 'Bahasa Melayu dalam era globalisasi' or something like that. It was talking about how the Malay language should be emphasised and used in today's modern world, instead of us resorting to English.
Which is fine with me. IF not for several facts. If our country wants Malay to be the 'language of unity', first and foremost, CHANGE it to 'Malaysian language'. This was done before, but due to blablabla it reverted back to 'Bahasa Melayu' instead of 'Bahasa Malaysia'. Why? A name may seem insignificant, but in actual fact it plays a big role. I would feel proud to say that I'm speaking Malaysian. Wouldn't you?
Besides that, the forum speakers said that 'we are one', 'we are all Malaysians', etc etc. Tell me, do YOU feel like a Malaysian? Can you ever proudly declare, "I'm Malaysian,"??? I can't, however much I love this country. In the end, I'll have to declare myself a Chinese. To remember that I am a Malaysian and not a Chinese is proving to be the impossible. The fact that I am Chinese is constantly pounded into my head on a daily basis, whether in IPDA, in Jitra, in PJ, anywhere in Malaysia, over the internet, over the TV, when filling up documents, you name it.
Why must everything be Chinese, Indian, Malay, OTHERS? In my opinion, the 'OTHERS', the aborigines are the ones who are pushed aside. Being the minority, this is likely to happen. I wonder if they can ever call themselves Malaysians.
As Merdeka is approaching, I wonder if the Sabahans and Sarawakians feel embittered over the fact that Merdeka is given such hype although they do not have a part in it. Why do 5 year olds know all about Merdeka, but nothing about Sep. 16, Malaysia Day? Is Merdeka yet another ploy to keep us remembering who we should be grateful to?
Sabah and Sarawak are dubbed the 'katak'(frog) states. You know what? They have a right to be kataks. In a country that promised them so many things and yet landed so much crap on them, I too would question many things.
Which is fine with me. IF not for several facts. If our country wants Malay to be the 'language of unity', first and foremost, CHANGE it to 'Malaysian language'. This was done before, but due to blablabla it reverted back to 'Bahasa Melayu' instead of 'Bahasa Malaysia'. Why? A name may seem insignificant, but in actual fact it plays a big role. I would feel proud to say that I'm speaking Malaysian. Wouldn't you?
Besides that, the forum speakers said that 'we are one', 'we are all Malaysians', etc etc. Tell me, do YOU feel like a Malaysian? Can you ever proudly declare, "I'm Malaysian,"??? I can't, however much I love this country. In the end, I'll have to declare myself a Chinese. To remember that I am a Malaysian and not a Chinese is proving to be the impossible. The fact that I am Chinese is constantly pounded into my head on a daily basis, whether in IPDA, in Jitra, in PJ, anywhere in Malaysia, over the internet, over the TV, when filling up documents, you name it.
Why must everything be Chinese, Indian, Malay, OTHERS? In my opinion, the 'OTHERS', the aborigines are the ones who are pushed aside. Being the minority, this is likely to happen. I wonder if they can ever call themselves Malaysians.
As Merdeka is approaching, I wonder if the Sabahans and Sarawakians feel embittered over the fact that Merdeka is given such hype although they do not have a part in it. Why do 5 year olds know all about Merdeka, but nothing about Sep. 16, Malaysia Day? Is Merdeka yet another ploy to keep us remembering who we should be grateful to?
Sabah and Sarawak are dubbed the 'katak'(frog) states. You know what? They have a right to be kataks. In a country that promised them so many things and yet landed so much crap on them, I too would question many things.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Life before IPDA.. relived. =D
Well, had a fantastic time in Malacca, and just back from an awesome badminton session(Calvin if you read this thanks again I enjoyed tonight's session plenty =)) + mamak session. Went to Digital Mall earlier in the afternoon to look for some stuff. Don't forget the guitar lesson too.
Life before IPDA was like that.
Badminton, mamak, shopping, just plain enjoying life.
What a hedonistic life I must have led, eh?
Met up with Dawn in Malacca too. She gave me a tour of her campus.. WOW is all I can say. That, my friends, is the difference between an established private university and a government institution(at least IPDA isn't seen fit to be awarded the highly sought-after 'University' status.. otherwise I'll lose what little faith I have left in our system). Her accommodation is easily 5 stars compared to my 0.5 star hostel. =P I mean, a swimming pool, gym, and the condo-like atmosphere? Not to mention that her apartment is has 2 really nice bathrooms with sitting toilets! Hahaha. Since I started staying in Jitra, having a floor with tiles is already a luxury by itself. Haha. Yeah, I sound pathetic.
Sometimes I despair when I think of living 6 years away from home. Yes, I can come home all I want(whilst in Jitra anyway, not in UK...) but I'm more of a visitor when I come back to PJ.. seeing it's so temporal, and before I know it, I'll have to go back to Jitra again.
But.. hey, 6 years isn't that long. Or is it? If you compare 6 years to a whole career, of course 6 years doesn't seem much. But I keep being reminded of the fact that I spent 5 years in primary school(which was a HUGE part of my life, not 'just 5 years'), and another 5 years in secondary school(again, a ginormous part of my life).. 6 years is the longest time I'll spend in an education institution. So yeah, actually, 6 years IS long, and likely to be another phase of life that will have a huge effect on my life.
The question emerges now.
How do I intend to paint this part of my life?
Truthfully, I have no idea now.
As a hermit, in my room? Odd as it may seem, that idea is actually appealing. That is what I am.. for now.
The canvas remains unpainted.. for now. The 1 month I've spent there probably put some spots on it, but the real picture remains a mystery.
I wonder...
Oh oh, don't forget the 3 assignments I have to complete too. Haha. One of my assignment limits me to 600 words though, so I've got to find a way to put in all my points in a precise way, not just write to my heart's content.
Have I mentioned how life is among scholars? Irregardless of how well/badly most of my classmates actually did, in the end we are all 'scholars', so generally some of them can be pretty kiasu. Oh boy, 'pretty kiasu' would be putting it mildly.
But seeing how exhausted I am.. Travelled back from Malacca->guitar lesson->badminton session->mamak session=TIRED.
1.40am now.
I'll blog about life among scholars another time. Haha.
God bless,
Jo
Life before IPDA was like that.
Badminton, mamak, shopping, just plain enjoying life.
What a hedonistic life I must have led, eh?
Met up with Dawn in Malacca too. She gave me a tour of her campus.. WOW is all I can say. That, my friends, is the difference between an established private university and a government institution(at least IPDA isn't seen fit to be awarded the highly sought-after 'University' status.. otherwise I'll lose what little faith I have left in our system). Her accommodation is easily 5 stars compared to my 0.5 star hostel. =P I mean, a swimming pool, gym, and the condo-like atmosphere? Not to mention that her apartment is has 2 really nice bathrooms with sitting toilets! Hahaha. Since I started staying in Jitra, having a floor with tiles is already a luxury by itself. Haha. Yeah, I sound pathetic.
Sometimes I despair when I think of living 6 years away from home. Yes, I can come home all I want(whilst in Jitra anyway, not in UK...) but I'm more of a visitor when I come back to PJ.. seeing it's so temporal, and before I know it, I'll have to go back to Jitra again.
But.. hey, 6 years isn't that long. Or is it? If you compare 6 years to a whole career, of course 6 years doesn't seem much. But I keep being reminded of the fact that I spent 5 years in primary school(which was a HUGE part of my life, not 'just 5 years'), and another 5 years in secondary school(again, a ginormous part of my life).. 6 years is the longest time I'll spend in an education institution. So yeah, actually, 6 years IS long, and likely to be another phase of life that will have a huge effect on my life.
The question emerges now.
How do I intend to paint this part of my life?
Truthfully, I have no idea now.
As a hermit, in my room? Odd as it may seem, that idea is actually appealing. That is what I am.. for now.
The canvas remains unpainted.. for now. The 1 month I've spent there probably put some spots on it, but the real picture remains a mystery.
I wonder...
Oh oh, don't forget the 3 assignments I have to complete too. Haha. One of my assignment limits me to 600 words though, so I've got to find a way to put in all my points in a precise way, not just write to my heart's content.
Have I mentioned how life is among scholars? Irregardless of how well/badly most of my classmates actually did, in the end we are all 'scholars', so generally some of them can be pretty kiasu. Oh boy, 'pretty kiasu' would be putting it mildly.
But seeing how exhausted I am.. Travelled back from Malacca->guitar lesson->badminton session->mamak session=TIRED.
1.40am now.
I'll blog about life among scholars another time. Haha.
God bless,
Jo
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Life in Jitra, Kedah
Well.. how has life been? I've not blogged since orientation week.. not because I've been too busy(quite the opposite, in fact).. but because I just didn't have the mood.
How has life been in Jitra? For a PJ girl to get thrown to Jitra.. well, culture shock would be the appropriate reaction. Lol! When I was first there, I kept thinking of home, how life would be if I had gone form 6.. no, I decided that even if I didn't take TESL up I wouldn't want JPA because I don't want to do law. I seriously considered packing up everything and going home. Go for form 6, get back into my comfort zone. Enjoy life in PJ. But that would be merely delaying the inevitable.. if I do that I know I'll end up applying for TESL in local unis again.. perhaps even KPLSPM. I am guaranteed of a job if I graduate from a teaching institute, but definitely not guaranteed of a job if I graduate from a local university. Plus the training in a teaching institute is way better, more comprehensive as compared to a teaching degree in a local university. Hence.. yeah, for the sake of becoming a teacher..
In the library I happened to read a saying by Plato that talked about 'the closer we are to our dreams, the more the suffering' or something along that line. I translated that from Malay, hence the suckiness of the saying. But that was a reminder to me.. just 6 years of this for a lifetime of teaching.
But yesterday I found myself yearning again to be involved in social work.. not teaching.. *sigh* I mean, I don't mind teaching, but I sometimes just long to help kids in orphanages, shelter homes.. not monkey kids who think they have powerful enough English and don't need English teachers(I must admit I was one of them). Anyway, my future is totally open, I'm considering doing a Masters in Special Education after my degree.. I mean, definitely I'll be doing it lah. Just that I'm not narrowing down my options to teaching and teaching alone. I'll pray about it and see where God leads me.
My course is TESL(Teaching English as a Second Language).. I just didn't expect MY coursemates to SPEAK English as a second language too! I mean, if you gave ME the choice, I'll rather teach a language that I'm totally at ease with. Ask me to teach Malay and I'll think four, five times about it, and still reject it.
When my classes first started, I found myself frustrated with the people around me. Why? I daresay 90% of them do NOT want to become teachers. They are either other-scholarship rejects, parents forced them, or they want to go Portsmouth. I do not understand why they choose to become teachers if they don't want to be teachers. There are so many out there who really want to become teachers but didn't manage to get in. And here we have a bunch of people who are just dreaming of the 3 years in Portsmouth, forgetting that this path leads them to a career of teaching(which is far longer than 3 years in Portsmouth). If they want to become teachers, and just see Portsmouth as a bonus, so be it. But most of them just talked about PORTSMOUTH and PORTSMOUTH alone! I'm dying to finish my 6 years, and Portsmouth is just one of the stations to get my teaching degree. Anyway, I spent 8 days in UK and found myself impatiently wanting to return to Malaysia by the 6th/7th day. I'm trying to imagine how I'll stand 3 years there..
And then there is the 'survival of the fittest(Spencer's phrase)' attitude around here. I find it highly uncalled for, we are already civilized enough! Why do we need to fight for survival in this kind of age?? The survival of the fittest attitude only benefits those who are fighting for life and death. In IPDA? ... I find this attitude totally selfish, but it still happens.. yeah, we aren't that civilized. Yet. Hopefully we someday mature enough to realise that helping one other, being a real friend, is beneficial.
But anyway, after spending a month with my coursemates, I find them to be really a great bunch of people.. most of them, anyway. So it's safe to say that I'm pretty happy with my coursemates. Hehe. Put our aims and beliefs aside, and I can be pretty happy. Pretty happy..
Anyway, classes are conducted pretty differently from my schooling days.. now we're encouraged to speak up a lot. Which is precisely what I do.. most of the times lah. Haha. It's quite enjoyable actually, to be able to voice out questions and opinions in class. I mean, I used to do that once in a while in secondary school, but usually got stares/glares from teachers if I asked what they considered 'stupid' questions. haha. In other words, questions they didn't know answers to. We have presentations to do nearly every single day, and I find myself often in front of the class crapping my way through presentations. I don't usually prepare what I'm going to speak beforehand you see, can't really be bothered to do that if it isn't counted. Yeah, bad attitude but hey, I'm trying to change that. So yeah, as compared to sitting down and just doing work, presentations are pretty interesting. I believe it's good training for me to learn to project my voice in a classroom environment. =)
I'm living in a room that is meant for a single person, but they squeezed me in.. so I've got to share a cupboard, I'm having a pathetically small table as my desk, and precious little space for anything else. All my things are either in my half of the cupboard, under my table, or under my bed. That's how small it is.. I've learnt to squeeze everything in all these places.
Oh, and Kedah has a 'green-bug' season that is really really annoying. These green bugs come from the paddy fields, and when they bite you it stings. Not that painful, but the welts they leave on you are itchy and lasts for a few weeks if you scratch them.
Plus my roommate saw a snake outside my house.
Oh, and there is a biawak that's about 1 metre long in my campus(according to a lecturer anyway).
And the lizards in Kedah are really really nasty. They aren't your standard house lizards, they are really fat and the body is dark brown, with stripes/dots/rough texture. DISGUSTING. Bugs I can tolerate, no prob. But lizards..
What else?
Hmm.
Oh yes.
I got National Service/Program Latihan Khidmat Negara! Wonderful, ain't it? No no no, I'm not being sarcastic. I'm excited and pleased I got it. But sadly, I can't go for it.. I doubt IPDA will let me off for so long.. *sigh* I want to go for the physical activities part! =(
2008 has been a pretty amazing year for me, no? SPM results, JPA scholarship, MOE scholarship, now NS! Hahaha. No one to thank but God for all of them. =)
Anyway, will see about NS.. I really want to go. I don't even mind just going for 2 weeks.. but I doubt I'll be allowed to lah.
Now on break for a week.. with 3 assignments to complete. Haven't started on any. My course doesn't have an exam until the end of 2 years.. surprising, eh? We have assignments all the way though.. which is kinda bad for me, as I prefer just studying last minute and letting it all go in exams.. with so many assignments I've got to work all the time. Am unused to that.
This break I've been going out with friends.. friends I can speak proper English to! =P Where I don't have to 'rojaksise' my English to be understood. What a relief, I tell you.
However.. people change. Someone I care about started smoking the cancer stick.. if you're reading this, do me and yourself a HUGE favour and STOP. I harass people I care about to quit smoking(if they do) and I'll do the same to you.. pleaseee stop.. hear my plea... it's not worth it. If you're feeling stressed up just give me/anyone else you're comfy with a call.. no need to resort to smoking!
Anyway, that's all for now.. I suppose there is more but save that for another day. =) Okay, take care.. have a great day. Enjoy life wherever you are!
God bless,
Jo
On a side note, I'm wondering if I have the 'naughty look'. My mentor seems to think I'm a 'naughty' fellow. She once said, "I think Joanne is the naughtiest one in this class," and when she talks about how we should behave and dress etc she once ended her sentence with my name. I find this really odd as I think I'm a pretty good person. Lol! Just something I thought I'll mention to give you all something to smile about. Joanne, NAUGHTY??? Unbelievable, ain't it? ;-)
How has life been in Jitra? For a PJ girl to get thrown to Jitra.. well, culture shock would be the appropriate reaction. Lol! When I was first there, I kept thinking of home, how life would be if I had gone form 6.. no, I decided that even if I didn't take TESL up I wouldn't want JPA because I don't want to do law. I seriously considered packing up everything and going home. Go for form 6, get back into my comfort zone. Enjoy life in PJ. But that would be merely delaying the inevitable.. if I do that I know I'll end up applying for TESL in local unis again.. perhaps even KPLSPM. I am guaranteed of a job if I graduate from a teaching institute, but definitely not guaranteed of a job if I graduate from a local university. Plus the training in a teaching institute is way better, more comprehensive as compared to a teaching degree in a local university. Hence.. yeah, for the sake of becoming a teacher..
In the library I happened to read a saying by Plato that talked about 'the closer we are to our dreams, the more the suffering' or something along that line. I translated that from Malay, hence the suckiness of the saying. But that was a reminder to me.. just 6 years of this for a lifetime of teaching.
But yesterday I found myself yearning again to be involved in social work.. not teaching.. *sigh* I mean, I don't mind teaching, but I sometimes just long to help kids in orphanages, shelter homes.. not monkey kids who think they have powerful enough English and don't need English teachers(I must admit I was one of them). Anyway, my future is totally open, I'm considering doing a Masters in Special Education after my degree.. I mean, definitely I'll be doing it lah. Just that I'm not narrowing down my options to teaching and teaching alone. I'll pray about it and see where God leads me.
My course is TESL(Teaching English as a Second Language).. I just didn't expect MY coursemates to SPEAK English as a second language too! I mean, if you gave ME the choice, I'll rather teach a language that I'm totally at ease with. Ask me to teach Malay and I'll think four, five times about it, and still reject it.
When my classes first started, I found myself frustrated with the people around me. Why? I daresay 90% of them do NOT want to become teachers. They are either other-scholarship rejects, parents forced them, or they want to go Portsmouth. I do not understand why they choose to become teachers if they don't want to be teachers. There are so many out there who really want to become teachers but didn't manage to get in. And here we have a bunch of people who are just dreaming of the 3 years in Portsmouth, forgetting that this path leads them to a career of teaching(which is far longer than 3 years in Portsmouth). If they want to become teachers, and just see Portsmouth as a bonus, so be it. But most of them just talked about PORTSMOUTH and PORTSMOUTH alone! I'm dying to finish my 6 years, and Portsmouth is just one of the stations to get my teaching degree. Anyway, I spent 8 days in UK and found myself impatiently wanting to return to Malaysia by the 6th/7th day. I'm trying to imagine how I'll stand 3 years there..
And then there is the 'survival of the fittest(Spencer's phrase)' attitude around here. I find it highly uncalled for, we are already civilized enough! Why do we need to fight for survival in this kind of age?? The survival of the fittest attitude only benefits those who are fighting for life and death. In IPDA? ... I find this attitude totally selfish, but it still happens.. yeah, we aren't that civilized. Yet. Hopefully we someday mature enough to realise that helping one other, being a real friend, is beneficial.
But anyway, after spending a month with my coursemates, I find them to be really a great bunch of people.. most of them, anyway. So it's safe to say that I'm pretty happy with my coursemates. Hehe. Put our aims and beliefs aside, and I can be pretty happy. Pretty happy..
Anyway, classes are conducted pretty differently from my schooling days.. now we're encouraged to speak up a lot. Which is precisely what I do.. most of the times lah. Haha. It's quite enjoyable actually, to be able to voice out questions and opinions in class. I mean, I used to do that once in a while in secondary school, but usually got stares/glares from teachers if I asked what they considered 'stupid' questions. haha. In other words, questions they didn't know answers to. We have presentations to do nearly every single day, and I find myself often in front of the class crapping my way through presentations. I don't usually prepare what I'm going to speak beforehand you see, can't really be bothered to do that if it isn't counted. Yeah, bad attitude but hey, I'm trying to change that. So yeah, as compared to sitting down and just doing work, presentations are pretty interesting. I believe it's good training for me to learn to project my voice in a classroom environment. =)
I'm living in a room that is meant for a single person, but they squeezed me in.. so I've got to share a cupboard, I'm having a pathetically small table as my desk, and precious little space for anything else. All my things are either in my half of the cupboard, under my table, or under my bed. That's how small it is.. I've learnt to squeeze everything in all these places.
Oh, and Kedah has a 'green-bug' season that is really really annoying. These green bugs come from the paddy fields, and when they bite you it stings. Not that painful, but the welts they leave on you are itchy and lasts for a few weeks if you scratch them.
Plus my roommate saw a snake outside my house.
Oh, and there is a biawak that's about 1 metre long in my campus(according to a lecturer anyway).
And the lizards in Kedah are really really nasty. They aren't your standard house lizards, they are really fat and the body is dark brown, with stripes/dots/rough texture. DISGUSTING. Bugs I can tolerate, no prob. But lizards..
What else?
Hmm.
Oh yes.
I got National Service/Program Latihan Khidmat Negara! Wonderful, ain't it? No no no, I'm not being sarcastic. I'm excited and pleased I got it. But sadly, I can't go for it.. I doubt IPDA will let me off for so long.. *sigh* I want to go for the physical activities part! =(
2008 has been a pretty amazing year for me, no? SPM results, JPA scholarship, MOE scholarship, now NS! Hahaha. No one to thank but God for all of them. =)
Anyway, will see about NS.. I really want to go. I don't even mind just going for 2 weeks.. but I doubt I'll be allowed to lah.
Now on break for a week.. with 3 assignments to complete. Haven't started on any. My course doesn't have an exam until the end of 2 years.. surprising, eh? We have assignments all the way though.. which is kinda bad for me, as I prefer just studying last minute and letting it all go in exams.. with so many assignments I've got to work all the time. Am unused to that.
This break I've been going out with friends.. friends I can speak proper English to! =P Where I don't have to 'rojaksise' my English to be understood. What a relief, I tell you.
However.. people change. Someone I care about started smoking the cancer stick.. if you're reading this, do me and yourself a HUGE favour and STOP. I harass people I care about to quit smoking(if they do) and I'll do the same to you.. pleaseee stop.. hear my plea... it's not worth it. If you're feeling stressed up just give me/anyone else you're comfy with a call.. no need to resort to smoking!
Anyway, that's all for now.. I suppose there is more but save that for another day. =) Okay, take care.. have a great day. Enjoy life wherever you are!
God bless,
Jo
On a side note, I'm wondering if I have the 'naughty look'. My mentor seems to think I'm a 'naughty' fellow. She once said, "I think Joanne is the naughtiest one in this class," and when she talks about how we should behave and dress etc she once ended her sentence with my name. I find this really odd as I think I'm a pretty good person. Lol! Just something I thought I'll mention to give you all something to smile about. Joanne, NAUGHTY??? Unbelievable, ain't it? ;-)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Orientation Week
Survived orientation week.. it was over at 4.15pm yesterday. It was huge relief to get over it.. I thought I would just go back to my room and sleep for the rest of the day, but when I got back to my room.. somehow there were too many distractions to fall asleep.
Okay, on registration day it was ok, quite efficient I must say. Move on to.. let's see, moral session? We have 'moral sessions' during the Muslim prayer times. It has nothing to do with Moral though, just some games. The 1st Moral session we had was.. well, not good. Really. In my humble opinion the seniors who handled us probably relished the thought of having new juniors to torture. They shouted at us like we were animals and scolded us for every tiny fault. Eh friend, we are NEW, remember? Anyway, the 1st session left me with a bitter aftertaste. It reminded me of PBSM days.. especially PBSM camp time..
Then my roommate asked me how things went.. and I told her about the Moral session, how I felt about being treated like that. A few other housemates were there, and they said that in previous years it was much much much 'fiercer'. Haha, I told her about a particular senior.. without knowing that she is pretty good friends with that girl. The next day(we had a public holiday during o week) that senior was in our room and talking.. and asked me how it went and whether she was too fierce. =P My eyes 'terbeliak' at that question. I immediately turned to my roommate and said, "You told her!" But of course she defended herself and said nope, she didn't. Haha. Anyway I just said yeah a lil' too fierce.
Then we had more taklimats.. some simple exercise every morning.. jogging, 'senaman seni'.. no big deal lah. The talks were mostly about.. truthfully I don't know. But the talks were given in a 'friendly' manner, not like in school days where the teachers made it all stiff and formal. The rules about clothing.. I find some of it silly, but not gonna make a big deal out of it. They keep talking about 'distracting students from studies' if we dress too sexily. I was from SMK Taman SEA where there were so many teachers who never did follow such rigid rules, but I never heard of students who were 'distracted from their studies'. Their logic is similar to the 'wear sexy and get raped' kinda theory. Blaming the victims instead of the predator.
So our schedule was something like, moral session, morning exercise, breakfast, talks until dinner time, then moral session, then final talk, and back to the room. We were woken up at 3am every morning, the seniors rode on motorbikes and honked and announced and blared the sirens and shouted. Yeah, 3am - 4am during orientation week is really really irritating and noisy. As my house only has 2 juniors, the other 8 are seniors, the both of us never did switch on the lights until much later. When the 'motorbike people' saw no lights they really really harrassed our house. Until one morning they announced, "RUMAH (my house number) SILA BANGUN!" Hahaha. My house is the last house in the row with juniors I think, cause all the motorbikes make a U-turn when they reach my house.
Anyway, we had to walk back every night during o week. We left IPDA at about 12.30am to 1am, and reached back to our rooms at about 1.30am.. sometimes later if they decide to direct us to the field and give us more lectures. The lack of sleep very nearly killed me off. Thankfully the activities during O week were pretty relaxed, and not much energy was required.
In the end, I found out that the Moral sessions were really the only thing to look forward to during O week. It was actually a session where we could have fun and just play games. And besides the seniors were nicer after the 1st session. Minus the fierceness, the activities we did were really tame as compared to the school camps I used to attend. 'Punishment' for losers were.. well, fun and not at all stressful. haha. The worst punishment we had was the one time we had to take sweets out from flour using our mouth, and even then the seniors allowed us to wash our faces and mouth immediately after doing it. This kinda leniency you'll never ever see in school camps. Haha. They even gave us tissues! When we had activities that were slightly dirty the seniors had wet cloths and tissues ready for us. That's really great IMO. Hehe.
On Thursday I had a pretty bad day though. I had a bit of diarrhoea and had to run to the toilet pretty often. Stomach problems plus lack of sleep was a really horrible combination. I kept debating whether to declare myself sick or not. But I decided I wasn't.. so I survived orientation that night. By the Moral session that night I was perspiring profusely whenever I felt any pain in my stomach. But with God's grace I survived it.. although I really felt like death was better at that time. Lol. Thursday night we reached back at 1.40am I think, and after showering I had to write a report on one of the sessions.. so I ended up sleeping at 2.40am that night. And got up at 3am. I had to summon ALL the hard-earned discipline I gained during tough badminton training sessions just to get up. Friday morning was when the exhaustion really hit most people. The seniors had a really rough time trying to get everyone up, and some of them only reached IPDA at 7am. Seems seniors had to go to some houses and knock on the windows. Lol. Friends called the handphones to wake their friends up to no avail.
Hence, like I said, the activities were okay, but the lack of sleep was really a first I've been through. During camps we get at least 2-3 hours of sleep, and even then most camps are only 3 days, so we are sleep-deprived for only that short period of time. Not so for orientation week..
During my first few days here, I had all sorts of thoughts.. Would Taylor's have been a better option? Why did God send me here? Why not IPBA? And most frighteningly, Is this really God's will for me???? The thought of this not being God's will really frightened me.. but I realised that those were just doubts creeping in. I know God has a purpose for me.. He has His reasons for throwing me here.. to be so far away from my comfort zone. I've no doubt that I'll end up a much stronger person after I leave this place.
1 or 2 years back I felt God telling me that He would make life tougher for me in the future.. I know this sounds silly but I felt Him telling me that a few times. So I've always told myself that life would be tougher for me next time, and I've been bracing myself to face the unknown. But never in a thousand years would I have imagined IPDA would be that.. What a way to strengthen me. I keep being reminded that I'm only 17. Yesterday I was just thinking of the 17 year olds SMK Taman SEA who are still in form 5 and yet here I am, in some far away unknown land. Again, I longed for the life in secondary school days, where I led such a comfortable life. I wondered how life would have been in form 6. I know I would have enjoyed form 6 the way I enjoyed form 1-5. I would probably be busy with the prefects installation instead of orientation week this week. I would probably be training the yellow house badminton players at this point of time. I would be going for youth group this afternoon. I would be playing badminton tomorrow afternoon after church. Just yesterday I wondered why IPDA.. why not the IP in Perak or IPBA in KL? I have to go back to settle my perjanjian stuff, and the journey home is gruelling. To go home would be such a simple matter then.
Enough of that. I know God has a purpose for me here.. and I've really got nothing to complain about. I've got great housemates, coursemates, seniors.. so I'm not miserable. I just question some things..
Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps.
Yeah. How true that is.
That's all for now.. =)
God bless,
Jo
Edit: Before my dear readers who have been through all sorts of orientations and camps start telling me that orientation is always like that(the ganas part by facilitators), let me ask you, WHY? Why should the facilitators during orientation week put on such a fierce mask? Why scare us? During the last day of orientation one of the seniors explained that they were fierce because it was orientation week. I bit back my tongue from asking her why. I think I was already too frank during the sessions. Lol.
Okay, on registration day it was ok, quite efficient I must say. Move on to.. let's see, moral session? We have 'moral sessions' during the Muslim prayer times. It has nothing to do with Moral though, just some games. The 1st Moral session we had was.. well, not good. Really. In my humble opinion the seniors who handled us probably relished the thought of having new juniors to torture. They shouted at us like we were animals and scolded us for every tiny fault. Eh friend, we are NEW, remember? Anyway, the 1st session left me with a bitter aftertaste. It reminded me of PBSM days.. especially PBSM camp time..
Then my roommate asked me how things went.. and I told her about the Moral session, how I felt about being treated like that. A few other housemates were there, and they said that in previous years it was much much much 'fiercer'. Haha, I told her about a particular senior.. without knowing that she is pretty good friends with that girl. The next day(we had a public holiday during o week) that senior was in our room and talking.. and asked me how it went and whether she was too fierce. =P My eyes 'terbeliak' at that question. I immediately turned to my roommate and said, "You told her!" But of course she defended herself and said nope, she didn't. Haha. Anyway I just said yeah a lil' too fierce.
Then we had more taklimats.. some simple exercise every morning.. jogging, 'senaman seni'.. no big deal lah. The talks were mostly about.. truthfully I don't know. But the talks were given in a 'friendly' manner, not like in school days where the teachers made it all stiff and formal. The rules about clothing.. I find some of it silly, but not gonna make a big deal out of it. They keep talking about 'distracting students from studies' if we dress too sexily. I was from SMK Taman SEA where there were so many teachers who never did follow such rigid rules, but I never heard of students who were 'distracted from their studies'. Their logic is similar to the 'wear sexy and get raped' kinda theory. Blaming the victims instead of the predator.
So our schedule was something like, moral session, morning exercise, breakfast, talks until dinner time, then moral session, then final talk, and back to the room. We were woken up at 3am every morning, the seniors rode on motorbikes and honked and announced and blared the sirens and shouted. Yeah, 3am - 4am during orientation week is really really irritating and noisy. As my house only has 2 juniors, the other 8 are seniors, the both of us never did switch on the lights until much later. When the 'motorbike people' saw no lights they really really harrassed our house. Until one morning they announced, "RUMAH (my house number) SILA BANGUN!" Hahaha. My house is the last house in the row with juniors I think, cause all the motorbikes make a U-turn when they reach my house.
Anyway, we had to walk back every night during o week. We left IPDA at about 12.30am to 1am, and reached back to our rooms at about 1.30am.. sometimes later if they decide to direct us to the field and give us more lectures. The lack of sleep very nearly killed me off. Thankfully the activities during O week were pretty relaxed, and not much energy was required.
In the end, I found out that the Moral sessions were really the only thing to look forward to during O week. It was actually a session where we could have fun and just play games. And besides the seniors were nicer after the 1st session. Minus the fierceness, the activities we did were really tame as compared to the school camps I used to attend. 'Punishment' for losers were.. well, fun and not at all stressful. haha. The worst punishment we had was the one time we had to take sweets out from flour using our mouth, and even then the seniors allowed us to wash our faces and mouth immediately after doing it. This kinda leniency you'll never ever see in school camps. Haha. They even gave us tissues! When we had activities that were slightly dirty the seniors had wet cloths and tissues ready for us. That's really great IMO. Hehe.
On Thursday I had a pretty bad day though. I had a bit of diarrhoea and had to run to the toilet pretty often. Stomach problems plus lack of sleep was a really horrible combination. I kept debating whether to declare myself sick or not. But I decided I wasn't.. so I survived orientation that night. By the Moral session that night I was perspiring profusely whenever I felt any pain in my stomach. But with God's grace I survived it.. although I really felt like death was better at that time. Lol. Thursday night we reached back at 1.40am I think, and after showering I had to write a report on one of the sessions.. so I ended up sleeping at 2.40am that night. And got up at 3am. I had to summon ALL the hard-earned discipline I gained during tough badminton training sessions just to get up. Friday morning was when the exhaustion really hit most people. The seniors had a really rough time trying to get everyone up, and some of them only reached IPDA at 7am. Seems seniors had to go to some houses and knock on the windows. Lol. Friends called the handphones to wake their friends up to no avail.
Hence, like I said, the activities were okay, but the lack of sleep was really a first I've been through. During camps we get at least 2-3 hours of sleep, and even then most camps are only 3 days, so we are sleep-deprived for only that short period of time. Not so for orientation week..
During my first few days here, I had all sorts of thoughts.. Would Taylor's have been a better option? Why did God send me here? Why not IPBA? And most frighteningly, Is this really God's will for me???? The thought of this not being God's will really frightened me.. but I realised that those were just doubts creeping in. I know God has a purpose for me.. He has His reasons for throwing me here.. to be so far away from my comfort zone. I've no doubt that I'll end up a much stronger person after I leave this place.
1 or 2 years back I felt God telling me that He would make life tougher for me in the future.. I know this sounds silly but I felt Him telling me that a few times. So I've always told myself that life would be tougher for me next time, and I've been bracing myself to face the unknown. But never in a thousand years would I have imagined IPDA would be that.. What a way to strengthen me. I keep being reminded that I'm only 17. Yesterday I was just thinking of the 17 year olds SMK Taman SEA who are still in form 5 and yet here I am, in some far away unknown land. Again, I longed for the life in secondary school days, where I led such a comfortable life. I wondered how life would have been in form 6. I know I would have enjoyed form 6 the way I enjoyed form 1-5. I would probably be busy with the prefects installation instead of orientation week this week. I would probably be training the yellow house badminton players at this point of time. I would be going for youth group this afternoon. I would be playing badminton tomorrow afternoon after church. Just yesterday I wondered why IPDA.. why not the IP in Perak or IPBA in KL? I have to go back to settle my perjanjian stuff, and the journey home is gruelling. To go home would be such a simple matter then.
Enough of that. I know God has a purpose for me here.. and I've really got nothing to complain about. I've got great housemates, coursemates, seniors.. so I'm not miserable. I just question some things..
Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps.
Yeah. How true that is.
That's all for now.. =)
God bless,
Jo
Edit: Before my dear readers who have been through all sorts of orientations and camps start telling me that orientation is always like that(the ganas part by facilitators), let me ask you, WHY? Why should the facilitators during orientation week put on such a fierce mask? Why scare us? During the last day of orientation one of the seniors explained that they were fierce because it was orientation week. I bit back my tongue from asking her why. I think I was already too frank during the sessions. Lol.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
In Kedah..
Yes, I'm in Kedah now. Sitting on my bed in the.. er, hostel that's a house but a really pathetic house honestly(LOL) with the laptop.
The house is.. well, odd. They built it for students, so I guess that means students don't need a nice comfortable place to live in. The floor is cement and we wear slippers everywhere around the house(except our rooms). When I first came to my room there was only one bed, and it was a senior's one. Haha. The bed came later though. Still, despite my derelict(yay I finally get to use this word on myself!) surrounding, I thank God that my condition is not as bad as some of the newcomers. At least I just moved in with a senior, and she's a pretty neat person. I pity her though, I shall try to be neat. =P
When I first met my coursemates.. first thought was.. OMG! I'm taking TESL, but EVERYONE around me speaks either Malay or Chinese or Tamil!!!
What my teacher told me about my type(English speaking) going extinct she was awfully right. Seriously.
I mean, you can throw me in a swamp, a snake-pit, whatever. But in a group of people who are taking an English course but most of whom can hardly speak English?? Or maybe they can all speak wonderful fantastic English but choose to keep that fact hidden.
However, yes I am coping fine. Try as I might, things boiled down to race in the end. Maybe when classes start things will change.. but for now.. I wouldn't want to blog about it, ask me the details if you want to.
Thank God for wonderful seniors though. Some of them have been really great. Hehe.
Okay, that's all for now.. still have loads to unpack. Have a great day!
God bless,
Jo
The house is.. well, odd. They built it for students, so I guess that means students don't need a nice comfortable place to live in. The floor is cement and we wear slippers everywhere around the house(except our rooms). When I first came to my room there was only one bed, and it was a senior's one. Haha. The bed came later though. Still, despite my derelict(yay I finally get to use this word on myself!) surrounding, I thank God that my condition is not as bad as some of the newcomers. At least I just moved in with a senior, and she's a pretty neat person. I pity her though, I shall try to be neat. =P
When I first met my coursemates.. first thought was.. OMG! I'm taking TESL, but EVERYONE around me speaks either Malay or Chinese or Tamil!!!
What my teacher told me about my type(English speaking) going extinct she was awfully right. Seriously.
I mean, you can throw me in a swamp, a snake-pit, whatever. But in a group of people who are taking an English course but most of whom can hardly speak English?? Or maybe they can all speak wonderful fantastic English but choose to keep that fact hidden.
However, yes I am coping fine. Try as I might, things boiled down to race in the end. Maybe when classes start things will change.. but for now.. I wouldn't want to blog about it, ask me the details if you want to.
Thank God for wonderful seniors though. Some of them have been really great. Hehe.
Okay, that's all for now.. still have loads to unpack. Have a great day!
God bless,
Jo
Friday, July 11, 2008
Last Day...
3.24am and I'm not sleeping. With such a messed up bio clock I really wonder how I'm going to sleep at decent hours when classes start again.
Or maybe I'll just pull through college life the way I pulled through school life.. sleeping late and waking up early every morning. And feeling like dying every time I had to force my wretched body up.
I think life in IPDA won't be as hectic as before though. For one, no more tuition. Lol! I had to take 3 extra tuition classes last year because I took 3 extra subjects which were not taught in school. I'll never forget how I started Commerce tuition in August(few months before SPM) and having known nothing about Commerce up to that point. I don't know why I took such a stupid risk actually. Lol. In tuition I must have looked smart or something cause my teacher kept picking on me to answer the questions. Of course I couldn't answer most of her questions and eventually she started picking on another student who obviously knew his stuff.
3 tuition classes.. wait, 4 including BM. And prefectship, PBSM, Sejarah & Geography club, Christian Fellowship, Yellow House and of course, badminton... It's no wonder I led such a gila life before. I don't think life in IPDA will be like that anymore. I'm not going to throw myself into so many activities anymore. I did all those before because I really enjoyed it.. and of course, because I wanted the remote chance of getting a scholarship. =P Actually, I did not really enjoy prefectship, I just enjoyed entering classes late and no questions asked. Plus I felt it was too close to the end(stepping down) to resign..
Now I'll probably just join what I really enjoy and relax the rest of the time. No more crazed hectic life for me, thank you very much.
Looking for a badminton group in Kedah.. really lazy to jog to keep fit.. but if I can't find a group around my level than I'll just have to start jogging..
I'm getting random here.
K off to bed for now.
God bless,
Jo
Or maybe I'll just pull through college life the way I pulled through school life.. sleeping late and waking up early every morning. And feeling like dying every time I had to force my wretched body up.
I think life in IPDA won't be as hectic as before though. For one, no more tuition. Lol! I had to take 3 extra tuition classes last year because I took 3 extra subjects which were not taught in school. I'll never forget how I started Commerce tuition in August(few months before SPM) and having known nothing about Commerce up to that point. I don't know why I took such a stupid risk actually. Lol. In tuition I must have looked smart or something cause my teacher kept picking on me to answer the questions. Of course I couldn't answer most of her questions and eventually she started picking on another student who obviously knew his stuff.
3 tuition classes.. wait, 4 including BM. And prefectship, PBSM, Sejarah & Geography club, Christian Fellowship, Yellow House and of course, badminton... It's no wonder I led such a gila life before. I don't think life in IPDA will be like that anymore. I'm not going to throw myself into so many activities anymore. I did all those before because I really enjoyed it.. and of course, because I wanted the remote chance of getting a scholarship. =P Actually, I did not really enjoy prefectship, I just enjoyed entering classes late and no questions asked. Plus I felt it was too close to the end(stepping down) to resign..
Now I'll probably just join what I really enjoy and relax the rest of the time. No more crazed hectic life for me, thank you very much.
Looking for a badminton group in Kedah.. really lazy to jog to keep fit.. but if I can't find a group around my level than I'll just have to start jogging..
I'm getting random here.
K off to bed for now.
God bless,
Jo
Monday, July 07, 2008
Life _ _ _ _ _
Fill in the blanks. However you want to. Take it in what sense thou wilt.
Feel like screaming blue murder today. Gah.
So few days left and yet so many things to do.
On top of that I'm coming down with a cold that I fought so very very hard against the past few days. I've managed to fight off colds the last few rounds, but I guess this time it's just not gonna work.
And I've got to walk around on a pair of horribly aching legs due to heavy training yesterday. You have any idea how hard it is to pack and prepare your stuff on a pair of legs that scream in protest whenever I move? Squatting down is the worst! Top that off with a cold.
Oh, and I just found out that I somehow didn't get/missed my 'Surat Tawaran' from the MOE. I don't know how it happened, I don't know if it's my fault or not, I just know I don't have a letter that I am supposed to have downloaded from the website. On any normal day I won't bother much about it, but to have that on top of a horrid day is like piss icing on top of a shit cake.
Forgive my language. I'm usually more civilised than that. But hey, I'm not exactly in the mood to bother about manners.
Have to transfer my things over to another laptop now. I've never used Windows Vista before this and suddenly I've got to do it in a few days. Which, mind you, are totally-packed days. If I'm not out I'm packing my stuff. If I'm not packing my stuff I'm looking at the things I need to photocopy and certify. If I'm not doing all of the above then I'm probably fast asleep in bed, exhausted. Which rarely happens, if that had happened often enough I probably won't be feeling so shi-..sick right now. With my computer skills(lack of, rather), I'll probably struggle with it for a few weeks.
Leaving home on a scholarship is no easy task. You not only have to worry about what to pack, but what you need to fill in, certify, sign, get others to sign, all sorts of documents.
Ok I'm off to search for more things to photocopy and certify.
Have a better day than I did.
Sleep enough, don't get sick.
Don't be stupid enough to miss an important 'Surat Tawaran' letter.
Don't train so hard if you know you're gonna need your legs for important work the next few days.
Don't rant over silly things.
Lastly and most importantly, leave everything to God. Pray to God sailor, and row your boat.
God bless,
Jo
Feel like screaming blue murder today. Gah.
So few days left and yet so many things to do.
On top of that I'm coming down with a cold that I fought so very very hard against the past few days. I've managed to fight off colds the last few rounds, but I guess this time it's just not gonna work.
And I've got to walk around on a pair of horribly aching legs due to heavy training yesterday. You have any idea how hard it is to pack and prepare your stuff on a pair of legs that scream in protest whenever I move? Squatting down is the worst! Top that off with a cold.
Oh, and I just found out that I somehow didn't get/missed my 'Surat Tawaran' from the MOE. I don't know how it happened, I don't know if it's my fault or not, I just know I don't have a letter that I am supposed to have downloaded from the website. On any normal day I won't bother much about it, but to have that on top of a horrid day is like piss icing on top of a shit cake.
Forgive my language. I'm usually more civilised than that. But hey, I'm not exactly in the mood to bother about manners.
Have to transfer my things over to another laptop now. I've never used Windows Vista before this and suddenly I've got to do it in a few days. Which, mind you, are totally-packed days. If I'm not out I'm packing my stuff. If I'm not packing my stuff I'm looking at the things I need to photocopy and certify. If I'm not doing all of the above then I'm probably fast asleep in bed, exhausted. Which rarely happens, if that had happened often enough I probably won't be feeling so shi-..sick right now. With my computer skills(lack of, rather), I'll probably struggle with it for a few weeks.
Leaving home on a scholarship is no easy task. You not only have to worry about what to pack, but what you need to fill in, certify, sign, get others to sign, all sorts of documents.
Ok I'm off to search for more things to photocopy and certify.
Have a better day than I did.
Sleep enough, don't get sick.
Don't be stupid enough to miss an important 'Surat Tawaran' letter.
Don't train so hard if you know you're gonna need your legs for important work the next few days.
Don't rant over silly things.
Lastly and most importantly, leave everything to God. Pray to God sailor, and row your boat.
God bless,
Jo
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Ouch
Tried to sleep early last night. I actually went to bed at 12.30am because I had training today at 8.30am. Ok, honestly I went for training because I wanted to see my coach(Beng Tiong) before I went to Kedah. Haha. Not because I want to train.
Suddenly woke up at 2am though. And felt wide-awake, couldn't sleep after that. I knew I HAD to sleep, no one can survive a gruelling nearly 3 hours of training on only 1.5 hours of sleep! But I just couldn't. Gave up by 5am and decided I'll just die during training. Haha.
So.. well, like the last time, I went late. =P I really can't help it, training at 8.30am is asking a bit too much from me. I mean, 8.30am! Who's awake at that hour, much less ready to train???
Anyway, went late and the rest had already started countless sets of all types of footwork. By the time I warmed-up and joined them, some of them could barely walk. Lol. Seems they actually came at 7.30am and started physical exercises immediately after warming-up! *salutes* Sorry lah, I'm just too old for this. I'm no longer a competitive player. Haha.
So did all sorts of footwork/agility exercises for about 30 minutes. And this is because I started training late. =P The rest of them had been training since 8am. I started at 8.45am. Haha! Still, I nearly died. Seriously. I've stopped consistent training since February, only the occasional once a week here and there. My fitness level(together with my 1.5 hours of sleep) has dropped dropped and dropped. I feel so bad about it. Haha. I ran 3km, 1.5km, 800m and 4X400m for sports day last year. This year I think I'll fare miserably in all of those events.
The final exercise was bad. Really! I don't know how many of you will understand it, I suppose only those who've undergone serious training for a sport will really understand it. Well, the earlier exercises were timed like 30 seconds to 1 min, in 4 sets. The final exercise was a killer. 3 minutes of non-stop footwork. The Bulgurian guy next to me was huffing and puffing and snorting his way through the exercise. Hello, last I checked I'm a nobody, why am I training next to international players?? I felt like my legs were gonna cramp any second. My fault lah, I just stretched for warm-up, was too tired to do some jogging/footwork. =(
The good news is, I didn't get any leg cramps.
The better news is, OBT had us all to use squash racquets to play badminton. LOL. For about 1 hour. Goodness. I discovered that perfect cross nets and net shots are really really easy with squash racquets. The thicker strings maybe? Or lower tension? It's so easy to control. I think lower tension. *shrugs* Anyhow all our footwork and shots were elephant-like. But thanks to my previous squash-training my shots could reach reasonably far. Lol.
Then we played with badminton racquets again! Hahaha. Needless to say our racquets felt like feathers.
Had a good time laughing at an argument between the Malaysian and Bulgarian player. Lazy to go into details but they were very very entertaining. The Bulgarian player especially because of his really-hard-to-understand accent and his vocal display of sheer enthusiasm whenever he won(or thought he has) an argument/point. This player is a refreshing change as compared to the previous few Australian/NZ players. The Australian and NZ players were so.. polite. Haha. They seem boring compared to this guy.
I thought my legs would be aching terribly by now but no, they aren’t. I’m not too sure why. Maybe tomorrow. Haiz. I’ve got to start consistent training/exercise again though. I’ll see how things are in Kedah, if I can’t find a badminton group hopefully there will be a good place to jog.
I look at all the stuff in my room and swing between depression, exasperation and frustration. *sigh* There are sooo many things to be done. The forms came by post a few days ago. And there are sooo many forms to fill! They want copies for everything too, up to 5 copies for stuff like IC. And FIFTEEN passport-sized photos. Haiz. I’ll just print the photos out. But everything looks so daunting I just feel like shoving everything aside and playing my guitar. *Oops that’s precisely what I did.*
Oh btw yeah I had a great time in London. =) My biological clock was perfect for London time! I actually went to sleep at 9.30pm some nights! Lol. Because I sleep about 3, 4am in Malaysia, so the timing was kinda perfect for London I suppose. I went to see my future uni too. Haha. Provided our government doesn’t collapse and all scholarships are withdrawn or something I’ll be headed to the uni of Portsmouth in 2 years time. Seeing how unstable our country has been of late I’m really doubtful about getting to fly there. But yeah, anything goes for me. I’ve left it to God. =)
Need to start looking at the forms and what needs to be photo stated and certified now. Have a great day and God bless! =)
Suddenly woke up at 2am though. And felt wide-awake, couldn't sleep after that. I knew I HAD to sleep, no one can survive a gruelling nearly 3 hours of training on only 1.5 hours of sleep! But I just couldn't. Gave up by 5am and decided I'll just die during training. Haha.
So.. well, like the last time, I went late. =P I really can't help it, training at 8.30am is asking a bit too much from me. I mean, 8.30am! Who's awake at that hour, much less ready to train???
Anyway, went late and the rest had already started countless sets of all types of footwork. By the time I warmed-up and joined them, some of them could barely walk. Lol. Seems they actually came at 7.30am and started physical exercises immediately after warming-up! *salutes* Sorry lah, I'm just too old for this. I'm no longer a competitive player. Haha.
So did all sorts of footwork/agility exercises for about 30 minutes. And this is because I started training late. =P The rest of them had been training since 8am. I started at 8.45am. Haha! Still, I nearly died. Seriously. I've stopped consistent training since February, only the occasional once a week here and there. My fitness level(together with my 1.5 hours of sleep) has dropped dropped and dropped. I feel so bad about it. Haha. I ran 3km, 1.5km, 800m and 4X400m for sports day last year. This year I think I'll fare miserably in all of those events.
The final exercise was bad. Really! I don't know how many of you will understand it, I suppose only those who've undergone serious training for a sport will really understand it. Well, the earlier exercises were timed like 30 seconds to 1 min, in 4 sets. The final exercise was a killer. 3 minutes of non-stop footwork. The Bulgurian guy next to me was huffing and puffing and snorting his way through the exercise. Hello, last I checked I'm a nobody, why am I training next to international players?? I felt like my legs were gonna cramp any second. My fault lah, I just stretched for warm-up, was too tired to do some jogging/footwork. =(
The good news is, I didn't get any leg cramps.
The better news is, OBT had us all to use squash racquets to play badminton. LOL. For about 1 hour. Goodness. I discovered that perfect cross nets and net shots are really really easy with squash racquets. The thicker strings maybe? Or lower tension? It's so easy to control. I think lower tension. *shrugs* Anyhow all our footwork and shots were elephant-like. But thanks to my previous squash-training my shots could reach reasonably far. Lol.
Then we played with badminton racquets again! Hahaha. Needless to say our racquets felt like feathers.
Had a good time laughing at an argument between the Malaysian and Bulgarian player. Lazy to go into details but they were very very entertaining. The Bulgarian player especially because of his really-hard-to-understand accent and his vocal display of sheer enthusiasm whenever he won(or thought he has) an argument/point. This player is a refreshing change as compared to the previous few Australian/NZ players. The Australian and NZ players were so.. polite. Haha. They seem boring compared to this guy.
I thought my legs would be aching terribly by now but no, they aren’t. I’m not too sure why. Maybe tomorrow. Haiz. I’ve got to start consistent training/exercise again though. I’ll see how things are in Kedah, if I can’t find a badminton group hopefully there will be a good place to jog.
I look at all the stuff in my room and swing between depression, exasperation and frustration. *sigh* There are sooo many things to be done. The forms came by post a few days ago. And there are sooo many forms to fill! They want copies for everything too, up to 5 copies for stuff like IC. And FIFTEEN passport-sized photos. Haiz. I’ll just print the photos out. But everything looks so daunting I just feel like shoving everything aside and playing my guitar. *Oops that’s precisely what I did.*
Oh btw yeah I had a great time in London. =) My biological clock was perfect for London time! I actually went to sleep at 9.30pm some nights! Lol. Because I sleep about 3, 4am in Malaysia, so the timing was kinda perfect for London I suppose. I went to see my future uni too. Haha. Provided our government doesn’t collapse and all scholarships are withdrawn or something I’ll be headed to the uni of Portsmouth in 2 years time. Seeing how unstable our country has been of late I’m really doubtful about getting to fly there. But yeah, anything goes for me. I’ve left it to God. =)
Need to start looking at the forms and what needs to be photo stated and certified now. Have a great day and God bless! =)
Friday, June 20, 2008
=)
Went out with CY, DR, and HQ today. I must say, the way we talked and hung out was as if we had no 5.5 'contactless' years between the 4 of us. Thanks guys(and gal), if you're reading this, for giving me such a great day today. Today was good, eh?
Apart from that..
I'm beginning to feel apprehensive about studying in Kedah. Once the euphoria wears off, I'm starting to feel nervous/worried/afraid of life in Kedah. I know I shouldn't be so.. cowardly. But I can't help it. A brand new life, so rudely wrenched-out of my dear PJ.. having to make new friends all over again.. yes, I am apprehensive. In my short life I've never had to face such a major change before. I sense that life after this will be tougher.. not just in Kedah, but my future as a whole.
But I blogged about that before, didn't I? I think I did.
However, everything aside, I WILL survive. =) No, not because I'm superwoman(far from it!), but because I have an almighty God beside me!
2.04am now. Have a wunnerful day ahead of you!
God bless,
Jo
Apart from that..
I'm beginning to feel apprehensive about studying in Kedah. Once the euphoria wears off, I'm starting to feel nervous/worried/afraid of life in Kedah. I know I shouldn't be so.. cowardly. But I can't help it. A brand new life, so rudely wrenched-out of my dear PJ.. having to make new friends all over again.. yes, I am apprehensive. In my short life I've never had to face such a major change before. I sense that life after this will be tougher.. not just in Kedah, but my future as a whole.
But I blogged about that before, didn't I? I think I did.
However, everything aside, I WILL survive. =) No, not because I'm superwoman(far from it!), but because I have an almighty God beside me!
2.04am now. Have a wunnerful day ahead of you!
God bless,
Jo
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Bzzzzzzzzzzz
Been busy lately. Buying stuff for Kedah. I don't have much time left! Next week I'll be going to London from Tuesday to Thursday. After that I'll have about 8-9 days left before I leave for Kedah.
Exhausting lah. I had(and still have) to buy skirts! Goodness. From someone who really cannot tahan skirts to being forced into one. School uniforms tak kira.. =P
Heard some not-so-good-news about Institut Perguruan Darul Aman(IPDA).. as the hostel is still under construction, students/trainees(that's what we're called) will have to stay in some nearby houses. That's ok. But I heard that the theft-rate is 'sangat tinggi'.. *sigh*
Which means I'll probably not bring my laptop(too risky) unless I want to lug it around with me 24/7.. I've no will to lug a laptop around with me all the time. And my guitar... I will rather live without it in Kedah then have it stolen.. :'-(
Yeah, life will be tougher. But like all things in life.. I'll just absorb it all in stride.
I'll have a few complications here and there though.. I'm still considered 'under-aged'.. till January 12th next year, I will have to live with that.. ridiculous, ain't it? Not really.. guess our beloved government never thought of that when they proposed the PTS exam. To be out of school and under-aged kind of makes life more complicated, especially for those who are leaving home. Thankfully, my birthday is in January. =)
I'll be going out tomorrow(today, right) with.. PRIMARY SCHOOLMATES. Hahaha! Amazing, right? They're the ones harassing my chatbox lately. =P
Tired. 1.45am.
Oh I got a new guitar. =)
Oh, and my hamsters committed incest and gave birth to 5 squealing babies. I thought they were sterile, never saw any signs of.. well, 'sexual excitement'. I'm real sorry about it but the babies are plenty healthy.. as far as I can see.
1.47am now. Tired. Trying to sleep earlier now. No more 4am, 5am bedtime for me. Nitez. God bless!
Exhausting lah. I had(and still have) to buy skirts! Goodness. From someone who really cannot tahan skirts to being forced into one. School uniforms tak kira.. =P
Heard some not-so-good-news about Institut Perguruan Darul Aman(IPDA).. as the hostel is still under construction, students/trainees(that's what we're called) will have to stay in some nearby houses. That's ok. But I heard that the theft-rate is 'sangat tinggi'.. *sigh*
Which means I'll probably not bring my laptop(too risky) unless I want to lug it around with me 24/7.. I've no will to lug a laptop around with me all the time. And my guitar... I will rather live without it in Kedah then have it stolen.. :'-(
Yeah, life will be tougher. But like all things in life.. I'll just absorb it all in stride.
I'll have a few complications here and there though.. I'm still considered 'under-aged'.. till January 12th next year, I will have to live with that.. ridiculous, ain't it? Not really.. guess our beloved government never thought of that when they proposed the PTS exam. To be out of school and under-aged kind of makes life more complicated, especially for those who are leaving home. Thankfully, my birthday is in January. =)
I'll be going out tomorrow(today, right) with.. PRIMARY SCHOOLMATES. Hahaha! Amazing, right? They're the ones harassing my chatbox lately. =P
Tired. 1.45am.
Oh I got a new guitar. =)
Oh, and my hamsters committed incest and gave birth to 5 squealing babies. I thought they were sterile, never saw any signs of.. well, 'sexual excitement'. I'm real sorry about it but the babies are plenty healthy.. as far as I can see.
1.47am now. Tired. Trying to sleep earlier now. No more 4am, 5am bedtime for me. Nitez. God bless!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Details..
Nama : JOANNE LIM
Program : TESL(SEKOLAH MENENGAH) UNIVERSITI LUAR NEGARA
Institut Perguruan : INSTITUT PERGURUAN DARUL AMAN
BANDAR DARUL AMAN-6000
KEDAH
Tarikh Lapor Diri : 14 JULAI 2008 (ISNIN)
Yep.
After that really confused post here, I had a few days to think over it..
And I feel at peace with the TESL one.
I know others are not happy with it..
But tell me, would you change a CAREER over 2 pathetic years?
I know, I'm nervous about change. But I can't tell you the joy I felt when I found out that I got the scholarship, even if no one else shared it with me. The euphoria I felt made the JPA scholarship seem like nothing..
Hard to feel joy when no one else around you obviously shares your joy, but still..
Thank you Lord!
Program : TESL(SEKOLAH MENENGAH) UNIVERSITI LUAR NEGARA
Institut Perguruan : INSTITUT PERGURUAN DARUL AMAN
BANDAR DARUL AMAN-6000
KEDAH
Tarikh Lapor Diri : 14 JULAI 2008 (ISNIN)
Yep.
After that really confused post here, I had a few days to think over it..
And I feel at peace with the TESL one.
I know others are not happy with it..
But tell me, would you change a CAREER over 2 pathetic years?
I know, I'm nervous about change. But I can't tell you the joy I felt when I found out that I got the scholarship, even if no one else shared it with me. The euphoria I felt made the JPA scholarship seem like nothing..
Hard to feel joy when no one else around you obviously shares your joy, but still..
Thank you Lord!
Potong Stim
That's all.
Potong stim.
Potong stim.
Have been rather unstable lately.. emotionally, mentally, you name it. The good thing is, it's gonna be over real soon. Really soon.
But it was supposed to be over today!
Sigh.
Potong stim.
Potong stim.
Have been rather unstable lately.. emotionally, mentally, you name it. The good thing is, it's gonna be over real soon. Really soon.
But it was supposed to be over today!
Sigh.
Friday, June 06, 2008
How now brown cow?
The TESL scholarship still isn't out.
But now dilemma lah.
If get then how?
JPA or MOE?
Yes I know people think I'm stupid if I pick teaching over law.
But hey, people thought I was stupid for picking Arts over Science. And I have absolutely positively no regrets over that decision.
Law isn't that bad..
Teaching isn't that bad..
How now brown cow??
JPA would be short term comfort, of course. Life in Taylor's will be great. But studying for law is tedious. It'll be some fun, but not as much as English. But. How?
Wo bu hui lah.
How now brown cow?
Life as a lawyer vs. Life as a teacher.
Hmm.
Okay lah, reason why I'm hesitant over the teaching one is because I'm afraid of change. I may have to leave my life in PJ next month if I get it. Then off to UK, then back again for the final year. Then another 5 years in some far away rural land.
I'm afraid of change. That's all.
Sounds simple.
But that's hard.
I like things I like to be at its status quo.
Because I don't like change.
Yes, I am a coward.
But I really don't like the thought of leaving my PJ life. Once I leave, there's no turning back.. I'll be away from PJ for at least 11 years(6 years of studying and 5 years in some rural area). And even after that I may not come back to PJ to teach.
*Sigh*
I know I've been rather perplexing lately. One moment I'm leaning towards MOE, the other hand I'm leaning towards JPA. I can't help it.
A few days ago I had made up my mind that I'll take up MOE if I get it. Why? Because I had a dream that I got it. And in the dream I was told that to be chosen for the TESL program was an honour, as few get chosen for it. It was a pretty vivid dream, one that I can remember details, names, faces, places. That's a pretty rare occurrence for me and my dreams.
But I don't like change. But I know I'll have to be independent soon enough.. But.. but...
So many buts in this post. So many unanswered questions. Frustrating.
Its been really trying lately. My future career hinges on a decision.
And I'm, as usual, afraid to surrender it all to God. I'm afraid He'll have a totally different plan for me. It pains me to say, "Your will be done, Lord." I hesitate to say that. I am afraid to say that.
Because you see. When I say that His will be done it WILL be done. And it may be something out of my comfort zone. If anything, it WILL be out of my comfort zone.
wo hai pa le.
But it's only when I have such dilemmas that I really really really depend on God for His will. I think when I can control things I tend to stop depending on God.. I suppose that's why I'm going through such a tumultuous period right now.
The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.
But he made the right choice although his road was less-trodden.
As always, Lord, Your will be done.
3.14am now. Off to bed, had a full day today.
God bless,
Jo
But now dilemma lah.
If get then how?
JPA or MOE?
Yes I know people think I'm stupid if I pick teaching over law.
But hey, people thought I was stupid for picking Arts over Science. And I have absolutely positively no regrets over that decision.
Law isn't that bad..
Teaching isn't that bad..
How now brown cow??
JPA would be short term comfort, of course. Life in Taylor's will be great. But studying for law is tedious. It'll be some fun, but not as much as English. But. How?
Wo bu hui lah.
How now brown cow?
Life as a lawyer vs. Life as a teacher.
Hmm.
Okay lah, reason why I'm hesitant over the teaching one is because I'm afraid of change. I may have to leave my life in PJ next month if I get it. Then off to UK, then back again for the final year. Then another 5 years in some far away rural land.
I'm afraid of change. That's all.
Sounds simple.
But that's hard.
I like things I like to be at its status quo.
Because I don't like change.
Yes, I am a coward.
But I really don't like the thought of leaving my PJ life. Once I leave, there's no turning back.. I'll be away from PJ for at least 11 years(6 years of studying and 5 years in some rural area). And even after that I may not come back to PJ to teach.
*Sigh*
I know I've been rather perplexing lately. One moment I'm leaning towards MOE, the other hand I'm leaning towards JPA. I can't help it.
A few days ago I had made up my mind that I'll take up MOE if I get it. Why? Because I had a dream that I got it. And in the dream I was told that to be chosen for the TESL program was an honour, as few get chosen for it. It was a pretty vivid dream, one that I can remember details, names, faces, places. That's a pretty rare occurrence for me and my dreams.
But I don't like change. But I know I'll have to be independent soon enough.. But.. but...
So many buts in this post. So many unanswered questions. Frustrating.
Its been really trying lately. My future career hinges on a decision.
And I'm, as usual, afraid to surrender it all to God. I'm afraid He'll have a totally different plan for me. It pains me to say, "Your will be done, Lord." I hesitate to say that. I am afraid to say that.
Because you see. When I say that His will be done it WILL be done. And it may be something out of my comfort zone. If anything, it WILL be out of my comfort zone.
wo hai pa le.
But it's only when I have such dilemmas that I really really really depend on God for His will. I think when I can control things I tend to stop depending on God.. I suppose that's why I'm going through such a tumultuous period right now.
The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.
But he made the right choice although his road was less-trodden.
As always, Lord, Your will be done.
3.14am now. Off to bed, had a full day today.
God bless,
Jo
Monday, May 26, 2008
I KNOW!!!!
Letter just came. hehe.
Headed to Australia(See Andrew you got what you wanted)!
Doing SAM in Taylor's College! Now this is unexpected. Haha! I was expecting a.. well, a government institution for pre-U.
Starting 5th July. =)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Now I can aim for ANU and be with my brother! Haha. =P
But that aside, I'll drop JPA if I get my teaching one. The pre-U for teaching will definitely NOT be Taylor's, it'll be some Institut Perguruan in either Kedah, Kelantan, Perak, Sabah, or KL. But then again, that's only for 2 years, then I'll get some nice uni in UK. Hehe.
Either way, it's a win-win situation.
Thank you Lord!!!
Headed to Australia(See Andrew you got what you wanted)!
Doing SAM in Taylor's College! Now this is unexpected. Haha! I was expecting a.. well, a government institution for pre-U.
Starting 5th July. =)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Now I can aim for ANU and be with my brother! Haha. =P
But that aside, I'll drop JPA if I get my teaching one. The pre-U for teaching will definitely NOT be Taylor's, it'll be some Institut Perguruan in either Kedah, Kelantan, Perak, Sabah, or KL. But then again, that's only for 2 years, then I'll get some nice uni in UK. Hehe.
Either way, it's a win-win situation.
Thank you Lord!!!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Offbeat
What does the word offbeat mean to you?
Say we're talking in musical terms here.
To me, offbeat means just that.. off beat. Wrong tempo, wrong rhythm, wrong beat. =P
Okay, I know I take these terms too literally. I've been asked the meaning of terms in music but somehow usually get them wrong. Haha! I translate the words literally.. to mean what it sounds like or according to the dictionary.
Yeah I know, grade 6 theory in music konnonnya..
That aside..
The good news is, I don't have to worry about long fingernails, hair-length, wearing my badminton pendant on my necklace, etc etc etc anymore. Yaaaaaaaay. After 10 gruelling years of worrying over such petty things(Okay, I'll admit I did loosen up a lot in the later years of sec school)..
But now new problems crop up.
Eh, college have to worry about clothes lah. You know how I am.. just throw on something I'm comfortable with.. but if I end up in some government college I'll have to first of all tutup aurat, jeans aren't allowed.. have to wear long sleeves..
Alamak. First of all only long sleeved stuff I have are jackets.
2ndly I wear jeans nearly everywhere when I have to wear long pants.. weddings, church, funerals.. you name it. I have.. I don't know, countless pairs of jeans..
3rdly-> Do I have to wear something different all the time?? Haiyoh. I think not lor.
4thly-> I'm hungry. Sorry, cannot think already. 6.45pm now.
Oh, before I go off, I've got limited time left in Malaysia. In some ways sad, in other ways pretty happy too.
God bless,
Jo
Say we're talking in musical terms here.
To me, offbeat means just that.. off beat. Wrong tempo, wrong rhythm, wrong beat. =P
Okay, I know I take these terms too literally. I've been asked the meaning of terms in music but somehow usually get them wrong. Haha! I translate the words literally.. to mean what it sounds like or according to the dictionary.
Yeah I know, grade 6 theory in music konnonnya..
That aside..
The good news is, I don't have to worry about long fingernails, hair-length, wearing my badminton pendant on my necklace, etc etc etc anymore. Yaaaaaaaay. After 10 gruelling years of worrying over such petty things(Okay, I'll admit I did loosen up a lot in the later years of sec school)..
But now new problems crop up.
Eh, college have to worry about clothes lah. You know how I am.. just throw on something I'm comfortable with.. but if I end up in some government college I'll have to first of all tutup aurat, jeans aren't allowed.. have to wear long sleeves..
Alamak. First of all only long sleeved stuff I have are jackets.
2ndly I wear jeans nearly everywhere when I have to wear long pants.. weddings, church, funerals.. you name it. I have.. I don't know, countless pairs of jeans..
3rdly-> Do I have to wear something different all the time?? Haiyoh. I think not lor.
4thly-> I'm hungry. Sorry, cannot think already. 6.45pm now.
Oh, before I go off, I've got limited time left in Malaysia. In some ways sad, in other ways pretty happy too.
God bless,
Jo
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Enlightened
No, I still don't know which country I'm going, which pre-U I'm going, how long I'll be in Malaysia, etc etc etc. That seems to be the most-frequently-asked-question, all in one breath too sometimes.
My answer used to be, "I don't know yet, JPA will send the official letter next week, then only I'll know my pre-U, country, duration, allowance, and all." Over the past week my answer has been shortened to, "I dunno yet no letter."
A friend of mine asked me to call JPA and 'screw them', to quote her exact words. Excuse me, you want me to 'screw' JPA up as if it's my right to demand a scholarship?? Haha, if I were the officer, "Ok, we'll give your scholarship to a more appreciative person. Thanks for calling. Bye."
I can take the suspense, don't worry. My course is only between UK and Australia mah, unlike courses like medicine, dentistry.
Okay, JPA aside, you'll be questioning my title as I'm obviously totally UN-enlightened about the JPA scholarship.
I had guitar lesson today.. and I actually SAW a RM90 000.00(NINETY THOUSAND RINGGIT ONLY-should the ONLY be there??) guitar. Correct.
FREAKING RM90 000.00 GUITAR!
I covered my reaction pretty nicely. But. WOOOOW! I don't even KNOW how I'm supposed to react.
I think easiest thing hor, is just to.. don't believe lor. Yes, that's what I think I'll do. He was just pulling my leg.
*yeah right*
Okay, so basically that's what my title means. I've been enlightened. That someone would actually spend RM90K on a guitar that can be used to.. I don't know, buy a car, give to charity, renovate house, you name it.
Then again, I know passion goes a long way in influencing such a decision. But still, badminton racquets most expensive also only RM1000 mah..
I dunno lah. Dunno what to say also. Haha.
NINETY THOUSAND!
Unbelievable.
Absurd!
Preposterous!
In pure Malaysian-style, HOW CAN!!!
Ok ok I'll stop harping on that now.
*Takes a deep breath*
Well, will let you people know where I'll be going when I find out.
I'll be leaving Malaysia when I'm still a teenager. 19 years old. Hmm. Still young leh. As a matter of fact, I've been feeling too young lately. Haha. Not ready to start pre-U.. I'll actually start working in 5-7 years time..! Time flies..
Been waking up early the past few days waiting for JPA's letter as they use Poslaju.. since I'll be required to sign it.. can't sleep till 1pm anymore. Haiz.
Been watching Britain's Got Talent the past few days, one word. AMAZING. From absolutely terrible vegetable performances that are oh-so-entertaining to just plain BRILLIANT and AWESOME performances. =) Awesome entertainment for a cooped-up kid waiting for Poslaju at home everyday.
Till further enlightening times,
God bless.
My answer used to be, "I don't know yet, JPA will send the official letter next week, then only I'll know my pre-U, country, duration, allowance, and all." Over the past week my answer has been shortened to, "I dunno yet no letter."
A friend of mine asked me to call JPA and 'screw them', to quote her exact words. Excuse me, you want me to 'screw' JPA up as if it's my right to demand a scholarship?? Haha, if I were the officer, "Ok, we'll give your scholarship to a more appreciative person. Thanks for calling. Bye."
I can take the suspense, don't worry. My course is only between UK and Australia mah, unlike courses like medicine, dentistry.
Okay, JPA aside, you'll be questioning my title as I'm obviously totally UN-enlightened about the JPA scholarship.
I had guitar lesson today.. and I actually SAW a RM90 000.00(NINETY THOUSAND RINGGIT ONLY-should the ONLY be there??) guitar. Correct.
FREAKING RM90 000.00 GUITAR!
I covered my reaction pretty nicely. But. WOOOOW! I don't even KNOW how I'm supposed to react.
I think easiest thing hor, is just to.. don't believe lor. Yes, that's what I think I'll do. He was just pulling my leg.
*yeah right*
Okay, so basically that's what my title means. I've been enlightened. That someone would actually spend RM90K on a guitar that can be used to.. I don't know, buy a car, give to charity, renovate house, you name it.
Then again, I know passion goes a long way in influencing such a decision. But still, badminton racquets most expensive also only RM1000 mah..
I dunno lah. Dunno what to say also. Haha.
NINETY THOUSAND!
Unbelievable.
Absurd!
Preposterous!
In pure Malaysian-style, HOW CAN!!!
Ok ok I'll stop harping on that now.
*Takes a deep breath*
Well, will let you people know where I'll be going when I find out.
I'll be leaving Malaysia when I'm still a teenager. 19 years old. Hmm. Still young leh. As a matter of fact, I've been feeling too young lately. Haha. Not ready to start pre-U.. I'll actually start working in 5-7 years time..! Time flies..
Been waking up early the past few days waiting for JPA's letter as they use Poslaju.. since I'll be required to sign it.. can't sleep till 1pm anymore. Haiz.
Been watching Britain's Got Talent the past few days, one word. AMAZING. From absolutely terrible vegetable performances that are oh-so-entertaining to just plain BRILLIANT and AWESOME performances. =) Awesome entertainment for a cooped-up kid waiting for Poslaju at home everyday.
Till further enlightening times,
God bless.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Latest Update..
Well, I didn't attend form 6. I prepared my uniform and all the day before..
Then guess what?
I overslept. Yeah, roll your eyes. Can you believe it? I OVERSLEPT on the 1st day of school! I woke up at 12noon, when an sms from Dawn woke me up. Haiz.
I could have gone on Tuesday, sure, but I was told to lie to the school authorities on why I didn't show up on Monday.. you know me lah.. so straight one.. =P I don't want to lie.. but I don't want to tell the truth either, because school may not allow me to register for form 6, or they'll give me one heck of a scolding. Which, I figure, why be scolded if I'm not even gonna stay in form 6?
Got the JPA scholarship to do Law. Many people asked me.. why did I apply for Law? Well, I did what I found repulsive before.. I crossed out all the other options. I know I'll enjoy the study of Law(as a full-fledged business student I had to know quite a bit about Akta-Akta etc).. I'm just worried about the work.
haha.
HOWEVER, yes, I am still hoping and praying for my TESL scholarship. Went for the interview today(yesterday technically, it's 16th May now), was pretty smooth sailing, personality test and essay went fine. Group interview went fine too, considering only 2 of us turned up for the interview, the 'discussion' was very easy. Haha!
I was pretty unhappy over the 2nd half of my individual interview at first. The 1st half was fine, the lady interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a teacher etc etc. I got her to pick up my bait.. I mentioned that I had many ideas on how to gain students' interest towards English.. immediately, "Can you tell me more about your ideas?" Haha! So I went on to talk about Music being an excellent tool, where students can improve their listening skills(I actually said HEARING skills. *smacks forehead* Sorry lah, a bit tension mah, she corrected me. Lol!) by listening to songs and finding the words to songs.
Then she asked me for another way, besides music. I was PREPARED for this wei, I purposely searched online for ways the night before. =P Haha, anyway, I mentioned playing the game of Pictionary to teach proverbs and idioms, something my English teacher did last year. =) She seemed pretty satisfied with that answer, and moved on to THE dreaded question.
She asked about how to make an advertisement that can impact youths of today, to send out a message to them. So I gave the example of showing a father dying due to lung cancer, and showing the suffering of his family as they witness his suffering and death(to show that smoking kills). Immediately, "Are you sure a 15 year old teenager can relate to an advertisement such as that??" I said, "Yes, by seeing how loved ones suffer, a teenager can always be affected emotionally." Again, that interviewer(eeeyer!) said, "Are you sure a 15 year old is mature enough to handle that??" Me, stubbornly, mule-headedly, "Yes, I believe that 15 year olds are mature enough to grasp such concepts." She obviously wasn't satisfied that I didn't change my mind, but sorry lah, I believe that 15 year olds ARE mature enough to handle such situations. The pain of a loved one's death is REAL pain to those to have experienced it, and unimaginable pain to teens who have not experienced it. Anyway, she let the matter drop, and somehow the interview ended.
To those who believe that 15 year olds of today aren't mature enough to understand such advertisements, how do YOU know that? Have you sat among 15 year olds and asked them? I've talked to 12, 13 year olds who know of REAL pain, they seemed pretty mature enough to handle it. Their friends, although most have led pretty sheltered lives, are empathic and shudder at the thought of THEIR worlds being turned upside down.
And besides, I was defending a 15 year old. Why? Because I'm only 2 years older! Hahaha! Takkanlah I say 15 year olds are immature, spoilt brats who care for nothing but themselves?? Then in that case, what am I?
Anyhow, that was the only part of the interview that sorta had me worried about my chances in securing this scholarship. I'm hoping that the interviewer will judge based on my language, and not contents so much.. as all individual interviews conducted all over Malaysia were done differently.. some were just 'borak'(talk nonsense) sessions.. most other interviewees in different centres had it easy, just asked about why they wanted this scholarship etc.
Again, I've left it in God's hands. Read Proverbs 16 two days ago. =) It was just what I needed.
I may plan my way, my life, and pray that I'll get it.. but God is the one who will ultimately decide it, because I've left it all to him.
Someone suggested that JPA scholarship may have been a door opened by the devil. I really felt angered by that statement. Relating back to one of my previous posts here.
I have been praying to God to open doors, and also to shut doors. I have been telling Him what I want, but always telling Him, in the end Lord, YOUR will be done.
I know that His will may always end up to be something I'm not expecting, but I trust that by surrendering it all to Him it will turn out all right in the end. If that statement had come from someone who has been praying along with me, to help me seek His will, I would have taken that statement better, and definitely not be angered by it. But considering that is definitely not the case, I felt angry and upset over that statement.
I've had this dilemma with me for a long time already actually. I've been telling myself, either it's TESL or form 6.. then one day I thought, "Uh oh, what if I get JPA(law) and not TESL?" I told myself I'll go form 6 then. Then this tiny voice said.. You've already surrendered this to God, yet you still choose to decide your path. Is that surrender? If you get JPA and nothing else, doesn't that mean God gave you JPA?
Because, you see, JPA scholarships are given out on a funny, definitely not transparent basis. There are students with 12A1s too who did not secure JPA scholarships. I could easily have NOT been given a JPA scholarship(something I was hoping for at one point). In fact, I hardly gave any thought to JPA, my focus was on TESL and TESL alone.
And suddenly, I find out I secured a JPA scholarship. Considering I hardly bothered to prepare for the interview, it was a rather pleasant surprise to find out I had gotten it. Which is worth at least half a million bucks, if I'm sent to Australia, and even more, if I'm sent to UK. Fees, food, lodging, books, winter clothes, all paid for. I'm still waiting for the official letter from JPA that will state the exact details of my pre-U college and country that I'll be sent to. Either UK or Australia for law anyway.
So then I questioned. Why was I given JPA? My explanation, which I HOPED is right, is that that I could convince my TESL interviewers today that I would give up JPA, a by far more prestigious scholarship, if only they would choose me to become a teacher. The other explanation.. need not be explained.
Anyway, I would like to thank everyone out there who's been praying for me.. your support and encouragement I am truly grateful for.
Will keep you updated on how things go,
God bless,
Joanne
Then guess what?
I overslept. Yeah, roll your eyes. Can you believe it? I OVERSLEPT on the 1st day of school! I woke up at 12noon, when an sms from Dawn woke me up. Haiz.
I could have gone on Tuesday, sure, but I was told to lie to the school authorities on why I didn't show up on Monday.. you know me lah.. so straight one.. =P I don't want to lie.. but I don't want to tell the truth either, because school may not allow me to register for form 6, or they'll give me one heck of a scolding. Which, I figure, why be scolded if I'm not even gonna stay in form 6?
Got the JPA scholarship to do Law. Many people asked me.. why did I apply for Law? Well, I did what I found repulsive before.. I crossed out all the other options. I know I'll enjoy the study of Law(as a full-fledged business student I had to know quite a bit about Akta-Akta etc).. I'm just worried about the work.
haha.
HOWEVER, yes, I am still hoping and praying for my TESL scholarship. Went for the interview today(yesterday technically, it's 16th May now), was pretty smooth sailing, personality test and essay went fine. Group interview went fine too, considering only 2 of us turned up for the interview, the 'discussion' was very easy. Haha!
I was pretty unhappy over the 2nd half of my individual interview at first. The 1st half was fine, the lady interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a teacher etc etc. I got her to pick up my bait.. I mentioned that I had many ideas on how to gain students' interest towards English.. immediately, "Can you tell me more about your ideas?" Haha! So I went on to talk about Music being an excellent tool, where students can improve their listening skills(I actually said HEARING skills. *smacks forehead* Sorry lah, a bit tension mah, she corrected me. Lol!) by listening to songs and finding the words to songs.
Then she asked me for another way, besides music. I was PREPARED for this wei, I purposely searched online for ways the night before. =P Haha, anyway, I mentioned playing the game of Pictionary to teach proverbs and idioms, something my English teacher did last year. =) She seemed pretty satisfied with that answer, and moved on to THE dreaded question.
She asked about how to make an advertisement that can impact youths of today, to send out a message to them. So I gave the example of showing a father dying due to lung cancer, and showing the suffering of his family as they witness his suffering and death(to show that smoking kills). Immediately, "Are you sure a 15 year old teenager can relate to an advertisement such as that??" I said, "Yes, by seeing how loved ones suffer, a teenager can always be affected emotionally." Again, that interviewer(eeeyer!) said, "Are you sure a 15 year old is mature enough to handle that??" Me, stubbornly, mule-headedly, "Yes, I believe that 15 year olds are mature enough to grasp such concepts." She obviously wasn't satisfied that I didn't change my mind, but sorry lah, I believe that 15 year olds ARE mature enough to handle such situations. The pain of a loved one's death is REAL pain to those to have experienced it, and unimaginable pain to teens who have not experienced it. Anyway, she let the matter drop, and somehow the interview ended.
To those who believe that 15 year olds of today aren't mature enough to understand such advertisements, how do YOU know that? Have you sat among 15 year olds and asked them? I've talked to 12, 13 year olds who know of REAL pain, they seemed pretty mature enough to handle it. Their friends, although most have led pretty sheltered lives, are empathic and shudder at the thought of THEIR worlds being turned upside down.
And besides, I was defending a 15 year old. Why? Because I'm only 2 years older! Hahaha! Takkanlah I say 15 year olds are immature, spoilt brats who care for nothing but themselves?? Then in that case, what am I?
Anyhow, that was the only part of the interview that sorta had me worried about my chances in securing this scholarship. I'm hoping that the interviewer will judge based on my language, and not contents so much.. as all individual interviews conducted all over Malaysia were done differently.. some were just 'borak'(talk nonsense) sessions.. most other interviewees in different centres had it easy, just asked about why they wanted this scholarship etc.
Again, I've left it in God's hands. Read Proverbs 16 two days ago. =) It was just what I needed.
I may plan my way, my life, and pray that I'll get it.. but God is the one who will ultimately decide it, because I've left it all to him.
Someone suggested that JPA scholarship may have been a door opened by the devil. I really felt angered by that statement. Relating back to one of my previous posts here.
I have been praying to God to open doors, and also to shut doors. I have been telling Him what I want, but always telling Him, in the end Lord, YOUR will be done.
I know that His will may always end up to be something I'm not expecting, but I trust that by surrendering it all to Him it will turn out all right in the end. If that statement had come from someone who has been praying along with me, to help me seek His will, I would have taken that statement better, and definitely not be angered by it. But considering that is definitely not the case, I felt angry and upset over that statement.
I've had this dilemma with me for a long time already actually. I've been telling myself, either it's TESL or form 6.. then one day I thought, "Uh oh, what if I get JPA(law) and not TESL?" I told myself I'll go form 6 then. Then this tiny voice said.. You've already surrendered this to God, yet you still choose to decide your path. Is that surrender? If you get JPA and nothing else, doesn't that mean God gave you JPA?
Because, you see, JPA scholarships are given out on a funny, definitely not transparent basis. There are students with 12A1s too who did not secure JPA scholarships. I could easily have NOT been given a JPA scholarship(something I was hoping for at one point). In fact, I hardly gave any thought to JPA, my focus was on TESL and TESL alone.
And suddenly, I find out I secured a JPA scholarship. Considering I hardly bothered to prepare for the interview, it was a rather pleasant surprise to find out I had gotten it. Which is worth at least half a million bucks, if I'm sent to Australia, and even more, if I'm sent to UK. Fees, food, lodging, books, winter clothes, all paid for. I'm still waiting for the official letter from JPA that will state the exact details of my pre-U college and country that I'll be sent to. Either UK or Australia for law anyway.
So then I questioned. Why was I given JPA? My explanation, which I HOPED is right, is that that I could convince my TESL interviewers today that I would give up JPA, a by far more prestigious scholarship, if only they would choose me to become a teacher. The other explanation.. need not be explained.
Anyway, I would like to thank everyone out there who's been praying for me.. your support and encouragement I am truly grateful for.
Will keep you updated on how things go,
God bless,
Joanne
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Form 6
T A H N I A H !
Anda ditawarkan untuk mengikuti pengajian ke Tingkatan 6 Bawah
Fantastic, ain't it?
Sigh.. form 6.. I want to change schools.. but which school? Never mind, will update my blog about that if I manage to change schools..
In a way, I'm looking forward to having a.. 'community' again, what with most of my friends in college by now.. But lazy to study lah.. form 6 some more.. I mean, if 12A1s can't secure me anything, then how will STPM with a CGPA of 4.0 secure anything?
I've got to thank others for supporting me during this rather trying time though. People have been telling me to have faith..So I'll like to thank all of you who have faith in me and tell me to have faith in our Father above..
As I've recently come to realise.. sometimes, to surrender is the hardest thing of all. It's like that story of where a man refuses to let go of his rope even when God told him to let go for fear he plunges to his death from a cliff.. only to be found frozen, a few feet away from the bottom of the cliff the next day.
I've let go, I've surrendered long ago. But sometimes I find myself dangling helplessly on that rope again, my earlier faith and trust gone.
On a side note, I went to Kiwanis today. One of the kids came running to me and hugged me as I've been MIA(missing in action) for 2 weeks.. a lil' girl ran to me and held my hand immediately. Another lil' girl, one who is constantly in a world of her own as she is not only has down syndrome, but is autistic too, came towards me and held my hand.. One lil' boy climbed on the sofa next to where I was sitting to say hi. Another lil' guy kept looking up at me to ensure that I was paying attention to him during his lesson. =)
It's kids like these who make my day. Nope, not intelligent adults who know it all, but kids who suffer from mental disabilities who can so easily put a smile on my face and make me realise again why I should aim for what I want despite what others may say.
It feels good to know that you've been missed, and made me sorry for my earlier state the past 2 weeks that caused me not to show up.
Indeed, these kids whom others see as having nothing to offer the world can teach us so many lessons, if only we'll spend time with them and try to learn from them for a moment. So many of them have been through all kinds of operations, I've no doubt that pain is a part of their world, something most blessed kids out there don't experience at such tender ages. And yet they trod through life the way we all do, only they persevere so much more to learn things we take for granted. If they had normal speech and all I've no doubt they will display a lot more maturity and wisdom than you and I could ever hope to attain.
Just 3 hours of working with them and I feel so free, no longer hampered by worries.
There's so much more I want to post but am too tired, 2.50am now.
Have a blessed day,
Jo
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