Latest Update..

Well, I didn't attend form 6. I prepared my uniform and all the day before..

Then guess what?

I overslept. Yeah, roll your eyes. Can you believe it? I OVERSLEPT on the 1st day of school! I woke up at 12noon, when an sms from Dawn woke me up. Haiz.

I could have gone on Tuesday, sure, but I was told to lie to the school authorities on why I didn't show up on Monday.. you know me lah.. so straight one.. =P I don't want to lie.. but I don't want to tell the truth either, because school may not allow me to register for form 6, or they'll give me one heck of a scolding. Which, I figure, why be scolded if I'm not even gonna stay in form 6?

Got the JPA scholarship to do Law. Many people asked me.. why did I apply for Law? Well, I did what I found repulsive before.. I crossed out all the other options. I know I'll enjoy the study of Law(as a full-fledged business student I had to know quite a bit about Akta-Akta etc).. I'm just worried about the work.

haha.

HOWEVER, yes, I am still hoping and praying for my TESL scholarship. Went for the interview today(yesterday technically, it's 16th May now), was pretty smooth sailing, personality test and essay went fine. Group interview went fine too, considering only 2 of us turned up for the interview, the 'discussion' was very easy. Haha!

I was pretty unhappy over the 2nd half of my individual interview at first. The 1st half was fine, the lady interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a teacher etc etc. I got her to pick up my bait.. I mentioned that I had many ideas on how to gain students' interest towards English.. immediately, "Can you tell me more about your ideas?" Haha! So I went on to talk about Music being an excellent tool, where students can improve their listening skills(I actually said HEARING skills. *smacks forehead* Sorry lah, a bit tension mah, she corrected me. Lol!) by listening to songs and finding the words to songs.

Then she asked me for another way, besides music. I was PREPARED for this wei, I purposely searched online for ways the night before. =P Haha, anyway, I mentioned playing the game of Pictionary to teach proverbs and idioms, something my English teacher did last year. =) She seemed pretty satisfied with that answer, and moved on to THE dreaded question.

She asked about how to make an advertisement that can impact youths of today, to send out a message to them. So I gave the example of showing a father dying due to lung cancer, and showing the suffering of his family as they witness his suffering and death(to show that smoking kills). Immediately, "Are you sure a 15 year old teenager can relate to an advertisement such as that??" I said, "Yes, by seeing how loved ones suffer, a teenager can always be affected emotionally." Again, that interviewer(eeeyer!) said, "Are you sure a 15 year old is mature enough to handle that??" Me, stubbornly, mule-headedly, "Yes, I believe that 15 year olds are mature enough to grasp such concepts." She obviously wasn't satisfied that I didn't change my mind, but sorry lah, I believe that 15 year olds ARE mature enough to handle such situations. The pain of a loved one's death is REAL pain to those to have experienced it, and unimaginable pain to teens who have not experienced it. Anyway, she let the matter drop, and somehow the interview ended.

To those who believe that 15 year olds of today aren't mature enough to understand such advertisements, how do YOU know that? Have you sat among 15 year olds and asked them? I've talked to 12, 13 year olds who know of REAL pain, they seemed pretty mature enough to handle it. Their friends, although most have led pretty sheltered lives, are empathic and shudder at the thought of THEIR worlds being turned upside down.

And besides, I was defending a 15 year old. Why? Because I'm only 2 years older! Hahaha! Takkanlah I say 15 year olds are immature, spoilt brats who care for nothing but themselves?? Then in that case, what am I?

Anyhow, that was the only part of the interview that sorta had me worried about my chances in securing this scholarship. I'm hoping that the interviewer will judge based on my language, and not contents so much.. as all individual interviews conducted all over Malaysia were done differently.. some were just 'borak'(talk nonsense) sessions.. most other interviewees in different centres had it easy, just asked about why they wanted this scholarship etc.

Again, I've left it in God's hands. Read Proverbs 16 two days ago. =) It was just what I needed.

I may plan my way, my life, and pray that I'll get it.. but God is the one who will ultimately decide it, because I've left it all to him.

Someone suggested that JPA scholarship may have been a door opened by the devil. I really felt angered by that statement. Relating back to one of my previous posts here.
I have been praying to God to open doors, and also to shut doors. I have been telling Him what I want, but always telling Him, in the end Lord, YOUR will be done.

I know that His will may always end up to be something I'm not expecting, but I trust that by surrendering it all to Him it will turn out all right in the end. If that statement had come from someone who has been praying along with me, to help me seek His will, I would have taken that statement better, and definitely not be angered by it. But considering that is definitely not the case, I felt angry and upset over that statement.

I've had this dilemma with me for a long time already actually. I've been telling myself, either it's TESL or form 6.. then one day I thought, "Uh oh, what if I get JPA(law) and not TESL?" I told myself I'll go form 6 then. Then this tiny voice said.. You've already surrendered this to God, yet you still choose to decide your path. Is that surrender? If you get JPA and nothing else, doesn't that mean God gave you JPA?

Because, you see, JPA scholarships are given out on a funny, definitely not transparent basis. There are students with 12A1s too who did not secure JPA scholarships. I could easily have NOT been given a JPA scholarship(something I was hoping for at one point). In fact, I hardly gave any thought to JPA, my focus was on TESL and TESL alone.

And suddenly, I find out I secured a JPA scholarship. Considering I hardly bothered to prepare for the interview, it was a rather pleasant surprise to find out I had gotten it. Which is worth at least half a million bucks, if I'm sent to Australia, and even more, if I'm sent to UK. Fees, food, lodging, books, winter clothes, all paid for. I'm still waiting for the official letter from JPA that will state the exact details of my pre-U college and country that I'll be sent to. Either UK or Australia for law anyway.

So then I questioned. Why was I given JPA? My explanation, which I HOPED is right, is that that I could convince my TESL interviewers today that I would give up JPA, a by far more prestigious scholarship, if only they would choose me to become a teacher. The other explanation.. need not be explained.

Anyway, I would like to thank everyone out there who's been praying for me.. your support and encouragement I am truly grateful for.

Will keep you updated on how things go,
God bless,
Joanne