I detest...

Consumerism.

It's rare that consumerism consumes me. Usually I can just say no to things that my heart begins to want and walk away, the evil desire to spend unnecessarily will fade away fairly quickly.

But when it does consume me, it's usually for some ridiculously expensive thing. Which makes up for my lack of shopping non-stop like some girls are wont to do.

This time it's bad. -_- I've been wanting an Ipod Nano 6th Gen (the mightily CUUUTEEEE one!) for months now. And it's not going away although I rarely even entertain the idea of THINKING about it, much less walking into Apple stores and playing with it.

But it's at a ridiculous price of RM549 (for the 8gb version)! :(

Which is a complete turn off. At least, I wish it were a complete turn off. But it's not. :( Cause I still desire it, no matter how hard I'm fighting against it.

What makes it even more ridiculous is that my bro has told me I can use his Ipod Nano 4th Generation. Which means I have a very good music player in hand already.

So dramatic hor? But how?

I don't want it I don't want it I don't want it I don't want it I don't want it

:( I still want it.

Haha. I'll be fine, I will. :-)

Just thinking aloud. The power of consumerism. Dang, Steve Jobs is the cause of this!

Have a good day & God bless!

Jo

Essentially...

... It's your own, personal journey which no one can walk along with you.

I'm talking about the pilgrimage, the journey of faith we make. (To non-Christian readers, this may appear shallow and nonsensical but hey, it's my blog ;-) )

I've come to realise that it's each individual's journey which we can't expect to be accompanied with.

To 1st generation Christians who are accustomed to persecution and going to church alone, you would be used to it.

But for people like me, who grew up in church, for whom Sunday church used to be a family affair in which we all went to church together, it's a hard realisation. But hey, better learn now than never, right?

So many Sundays as I head to church alone I contemplate over the great change in my life that I still find hard to grasp sometimes.

At some points, I even ask myself questions which if spoken aloud, people would send me for counselling of the highest order.

*Which is why I'll never ask these questions aloud ;-)*

Like they say, it's more cruel to give someone everything only to take it all away, than to leave a person with nothing from the very start. Simply because the former has tasted all the riches and comfort of life, only to lose it all. The latter? He never knew a better life, nothing to miss.

Am off now,

Jo

Dang

I missed my 4.0!

Hahaha.

Got 6 As, 1 A-. A- for Business zzzzzzz after ALL my hardwork last sem on that stupid subject! Still, could have been worse. Really thank the boyfriend for all his work in transporting me around KL finding stuff! =) =)

And of course, thank God for my results considering the horribly busy and lack of sleep semester I had. 3-4 hours of sleep per night throughout the 10 weeks of lecture and classes without a single break was NO JOKE.

Final GPA for this sem... 3.957... is that 3.96? Or 3.95?

Well, I'm happy enough with my results, good ending for first year. =)

Some unis have A+! And that's a 4.33 pointer which is AWESOME hahaha cause it means you always have a chance of targetting 4.0. (But then again, won't we all be aiming for 4.33 then??)

Anyway, that's all, have a good day!

God bless,

Jo

La Guitarra

As I was polishing my precious Raimundo a couple of days ago, my mum looked at me intently concentrating on my task and commented, "You very free hor."

My answer?

"Of course I am!" =P

Suffice to say, my Raimundo has been getting the proper attention and love it needs (and lacked throughout my last sem) the past few days. =) Playing on it, polishing it, more playing on it... I have yet to fully utilize and unleash its maximum wonderful power that my teacher can do so easily, but hey, I'm getting there slowly. =D It's been a steep learning curve ever since I first picked up the guitar in 2008, but the havoc of starting university has stunted the progress I was making on it. Will have a few months to catch up and polish up and most hopefully ace my grade 6 exam in August, but it's been a good few years with the classical guitar. 3 years? Considering my constant breaks in playing and lessons due to Kedah/STPM/Uni, I think it's going okay =)

Recently picked up acoustic guitar playing, it's a different world altogether from classical playing but I'm really enjoying the journey of learning. Although steel strings hurt BIG TIME when I lay off playing acoustic for a while. What can I say? I've been spoilt by my wonderful classical soft-string guitar... and also because I'm not willing to invest in a really good acoustic guitar which will hurt my fingers less I think. Not for now, I'm pretty much a noob on acoustic playing.

What I REALLY want to learn is fingerstyle after classical playing, but that's a long way more to go. Cause I wanna 'finish' my classical guitar education (in terms of exams, I know learning is a lifelong process) first. Haha! Few years time I hope..

My apologies if this post is mumbo-jumbo to you, just decided to give my blog a lil' bit of life. =D

God bless,

Jo

Hello Alphapha!

How's life been for you?

I've been attending 20s (ok, I tried to but Elaine asked me to teach her Econs in church instead =P), youth, teaching pre-teens, and helping the church clean up as they prepare for the renovation. =)

Past few months I've been so much more involved in Powerkids (Our canggih-manggih name for Sunday School) that the young people claim I've disappeared from church. I haven't, I'm just right above you. =)

My 4 month break started! =D

I'm tired, yet to catch up on my sleep!

I played badminton for my faculty against the Malaysian military something something college the day before my Thai exam. The staff lacked a women player so they conveniently sought me out and I went right after my Engrish paper. I played against our Malaysian women soldiers... and boy, are they HUGE. Not fat huge, but big-sized women..! Oh well, better people their size defending Malaysia than people MY Winnie the Pooh size.. haha!

Yes, I'm happy as you can see based on the number of exclamation !!! marks. =)

Joash is fine, busy with business and studies, *cracks head on how to make life easier for him* I bought him a new shiny ring because his old one died. =) He's working so so so hard but I don't know how to slow him down, I'll just make life easier for him... hehehe.

Today I went shopping with mum and bro, something I have not done in MONTHS! Haha I actually bought things too.. =) (While Joash slaved away at work, talk about guilt trip for me..!)

Feels good to be living on my own money (scholarship) rather than relying on mum, really it does. I remember wanting to give tuition to earn my own money last time and mum of course discouraged me, she just attempting to quell that stubborn independent streak I have in me I guess. But anyway, I got JPA so such hardworking thoughts all flew out of my head, I just need to worry about getting the best score I can get now so that I can ... (dreams not meant to be shared with the whole world). =)

Anyway, that's all, just light stuff, a good 4 month break for me to just sit back, relax, take better care of the hubby, concentrate on guitar.. =)

The best part? It's JUST starting. =)

I'm done with first year!!! *pheeeew!* Time really really really flies, the special someone started 'disturbing me' (and I gladly disturbed him back HAHA) during my first sem, and now I'm done with 1st year! It's been one trying sem, so many things out of focus, but I've learnt a lot about what to do, what not to do, what to commit to, what to step back from.

Aye, I'm just glad it's over. =)

God bless,

Jo

I know I've been busy when...

1. My phone credit reaches 44 cents. Since I got my hp years ago I've not allowed my credit to drop so low. (Then again, could be because now thanks to Easy Prepaid I can call and sms 3 vital numbers for free. =P Guess who those 3 lucky people are!)

2. My purse reaches an all time low and I actually borrow money from my bro/mum.

3. Car petrol at final bar.

4. Energy level below final bar.

=P Haha, actually all the problems above settled di, just wanted to blog about it.

Left 2 more papers! Relatively light papers!

According the the 'markah tak rasmi', I got an A- for my Business. :( Sigh. Buhbye hopes of 4.0... After all my hardwork the ENTIRE sem and I get an A- on APK! Sheesh. Don't know where I went wrong, exam was pretty easy... mmm. But still, no regrets, I gave it my all, so I don't feel the "I should have tried harder" feeling.

One of my faculty's staff called me up and asked me to partner her in a badminton competition tomorrow, against some military people! Haha Thursday only left Thai paper, that one no need to study one la so I agreed to partner her. =) Bring it on, tentera!

Hubby's business is up and running! I'm gonna paint the shoplot after my exams! Hahaha *itchified*

Ok, gonna sleep a while. *Smells May 12th, 1.30pm drawing closer*

God bless,

Jo

Nocturnal

Messed up my sleep cycle some days ago, been keeping awake all night, sleeping at 9am and waking up at about 2, 3, even 4pm these days.

Hmm... can't wait for exams to be over!

Kenari tire decided to puncture a few hours ago, happened to Nat (hubby's BFF), so good thing these 2 guys knew what to do. If it had happened to ME in the middle of the night (won't happen to bro and mum because only I go out at odd hours =P)... I would have just called the hubby so no problem la actually. Hahaha! =P Needed a tool that Yan's house had, thank God!

Why am I blabbing??

(Cause I'm avoiding work)

Asia Tenggara next week, 4 papers next week, so so tiring! But but I can do it, another four papers and I'm DONE with first year! Soo soo freaking fast! Then only another 2.5 years of studies! (Yeah right. Hahaha.) I love this academic world... don't think I'll leave it lah. =)

Mum said we've (Joash and I) have 'been good' because we've not been on a real date in mooonths! Usually just a quick meal and back to our busy busy lives. Haha, we've been 'good'! For not dating. -_- *throws hands up in the air in disbelief* Soon, soon! ;-)

The brother got a job! So now I've got to take over the bills agaaiiin. -_- Get ready for all the phone calls and letters demanding late payment again! *Must learn to be more responsible* Haha, poor guy, he has to work so hard, mmm *enjoys studying for now*

Ok, verbal diarrhea over, back to Southeast Asia's ekonomik demokratik politik blablabla

God bless,

Jo

Edit (4.28am): Oh oh oh! Was watching some Youtube videos, I know my next experiment during my 4 month break! I want to play around with videos and music! =) *Lol, sorry that's all my mind can focus on... 4 month break!*

Nooo -_-

Elaine deleted her Facebook, just when I was about to release stress on her wall!

Yan did the sameee thing! Eh Yan I wanna meet you in library laah, I sleep too much at home. -_- Haha!

Life is sad when you gotta start blogging TO people because there's no other mode of communication!

Ok, fine, I can sms, but my phone is shooo far away...

Miss those days of having fun in church, right right??

Haha, just a stress-releasing post, am gonna be DONE with 1st year on May 12th! After that... hehehe! Last day Thai paper.. last sem I walked out of the whole a full hour earlier and my Thai lecturer wasn't too happy with me... so tempted to do that again this sem... mmm not as if I'm taking Thai next sem onwards anyway, don't need to keep in anyone's good books.. hmm... Thai paper is like that, either you know or you don't know, no extra time will help you. Except if you're fervently hoping for a lightbulb moment, sit as long as you want in that case!


Bingbingbongbong =) Gonna be dooone!


Haha, still have another 4 papers to go before I'm done though.


Pointless post, really.

God bless,
Jo

Yo yo!

Updates updates updates.


I've been sleeping like a pig the past few days. -_- Really, like wake up 2pm every day. Zzz.


Haha kononnya long break between exam papers so I'm supposed to study. =(

Anyway, Easter Powerkids done! And thank God it went well, from worship to games to food to shadow play to the message shared! =) Truth be told, I don't mind becoming in charge of such an event again, the people whom I assigned responsibilities to did awesome jobs! AWESOME. =) Everyone got right into the spirit of things and gave their all. Hehe.

Besides that, I got my first A for a course that was sooo freaking hard I thought my A would be gone. Scraped by with an 84%. =)

Don't know if I can maintain my 4.0 CGPA this sem, will try, but hmm haha uni life is just getting tougher, and my zest to get 4.0 is not so strong anymore. *will try will try*


Talked to a few old friends yesterday, friends I made when I was much younger.. and well well, the problems we face now, the issues we talk about now.. so much more 'grown-up' than our younger days. Still, it was a good catching up session, and I'm very glad that all of them are making headway in life! =)

*Eh future Singaporean English Literature teacher, you rock! ;-)*

Today Pos Laju-ed a birthday present to dad-in-law, hahaha I hope it makes it to Kuantan without breaking! 2 mugs with Harley Davidson-looking bikes on them. =) Padded with a towel! Tried to find a Harley miniature model but didn't manage... hmm, very hard to find these kinda models lah, been looking everywhere! Father and son both into bikes, haha gifts are rather easy eh ;-) If only it were easier to find bike models... *keeps looking*

The hubby has been busy with business and studies, *I'll always be here to support you k my dear =)*

And I've been busy with... sleeping and studies. -_- *Feels guilty* And playing the guitar and piano and onlining. Ok la, I don't online so much these days... Catching up on AN ENTIRE sem's sleep I guess, this sem has been one crazy, sleep-deprived one. Sleep-deprived means I slept even less than my hubby, and THAT means I hardly slept. Cause HE hardly sleeps!

Inspite of all that, give me uni any time as compared to my schooling days. =) The 'intellectual atmosphere' in uni is so so sooo comforting, I feel happy! Knowledge doesn't actually mean eating up textbooks for exam here (Apart from stupid university courses like Hubungan Etnik and TITAS and APK), it goes far beyond textbooks. In fact, in all my English and Southeast Asian Studies courses there are no textbooks, and we're expected to research on our own online and in the library. =) It's tough at times I admit, having been brought up all my life in a rigid, text-book based system (apart from English Lit), but it's something I enjoy lah. =) Yep, Imma 'nerd' at heart. Hahaha! (Though I could go into a debate with you about the definition of a 'nerd'... but most Malaysians can't tell the difference so why bother?)

Heart wants to rejoin UM's SUKMUM badminton team.. :( See how lah...

Ok, 3.56am... I'll stop here, have a blessed day!

God bless,
Jo

Ding Ding Dong Dong

Church people say they've not seen me in ages.

PKV people say the same.

Truth is, I'm frantically running back and forth between these 2, maybe that's why both don't see me that much. (On top of uni work lah.)

I've got to decide on one lah. I'm nearly on duty for something or other in church every week, it's the rare occasion when I have TWO weeks in a row of being duty-less. As for PKV, I admit I don't spend as much time with them since I've moved out of hostel..

Like Ps. Ong told me when I told him about how I realised I'll have to pick one.. He said I'll eventually have to prune and decide which area and place I'll be able to serve the best in. He said, "You mean PKV can SURVIVE without you on the committee??" Haha! Yes, they can. Very very well, in fact. I'm not a useful member.

Not to mention that I'll like to have more time to spend with my awesome pawesome coursemates =)

Just thinking incoherently now, am exhausted. But have to study for a test. zzz!

Just got a sweet sms from a church member wondering if I had 'sesated' because I seem to have disappeared from church. =) (Which I haven't, but just no time to hang out with them because I'm either on duty for something or gotta run off after service. Which of course defeats the whole purpose of church-FELLOWSHIP.) Haha, I've never once stayed at home on a Sunday morning ever since I joined PPBC, if I've missed church it's because I'm away at camp/Malacca/some event/something lah. That is, until about 3 weeks ago. To cut a long story short, I didn't have a car, and Elaine kindly offered to fetch me when I informed her at 10am, but I was already back in bed (was during my gilar hectic few weeks so I lacked sleep) so I declined her offer. Haha. That afternoon Joash and I went for lunch.. and talk about KANTOI. -_- Bumped into ALL the young people in church who were celebrating Yan's birthday. Sigh. The FIRST time I ever simply skipped church (in PPBC la) I've got to meet all of them. Zzz.

Hahahaha. My my. Anyway, if you think I'm too busy dating and don't have enough time for other things... lemme assure you that my poor BF has not gone on a proper date with me in the longest of times. I can't even remember our last real date...?? We went for a movie about a month plus ago but that was it, just a movie before we both had our own things to do again. Haha. We do plenty of late night study dates though, we're busy busy busy students! (Especially him, can you imagine being busier than me?? He is!)

Last Sunday made a last-minute day trip to Kuantan because he had something urgent to collect, we attended service there. Very comfortable atmosphere, the church there. :-) Had a very good trip, the hubby was worried I couldn't spare the time cause I had a test the next day and a few tests this week, but I felt like I needed the break. And it brought me an awesome break, albeit a short one. After service we had EIGHT people's share of kai fan between the 4 of us (parents in law brought us =D) and then the father-in-law brought us on a 'car tour' to show this PJ gal the true meaning of Kuantan. Haha! They pointed out places I would have played when I was a mere toddler in Kuantan, and surprisingly I think I actually have SOME form of memory about some of those places! They even pointed out where I used to stay.. hahahaha that one I really don't know. =P

Was a very good, relaxing trip, mum-in-law had a good chat with me hehe, cute aunty with excellent advice! Dad-in-law was a typical dad and enlightened me on LYNAS. Haha! Glad to have made that trip to Kuantan, too short but nevermindla, sneak preview to our next one, eh sayang? ;-)

The in-laws knew me as a kid and vice versa, how often do we get this kinda privileged background before meeting your future hubby?? =D Looking forward to the next trip when I've got less things on my mind, no tests the next day, and more time to enjoy Kuantan!

Ok, I should study now, test tomorrow!

God bless,

Jo

Growing Up's Tough.. but Fun

It's rather pressurizing when entire events lie on your shoulder. If you don't work on them, nothing will be done. -_-

Am in charge of the entire Easter for Powerkids/Sunday School! Eg. Worship, Games, Play, Food... etc. And the aunties/teachers are turning to ME when they have questions! -_- *so scary and odd*

Hmm. Things will work out...

They will! =)

God bless,

Jo

=D

Handed in my final 2 heavy assignments today! =D

Hehe. Week 13, Friday is finally here!

Final week next week before exams, having a few tests and a presentation =) But happy mappy! =D Nearly over!

Haha.

Heading to Kuantan this Sunday for a day trip, hubby has something urgent there so we're going... I'll get to see his new castle! =D Mum-in-law smsed a rather lengthy sms and said she's looking forward to seeing us there.. so am I! =) Haha, cute family = cute son!

Yesterday's bro's fish required mouth surgery, was comical to see him and Joash both attempting to repair its mouth -_- The small tiny yellow thing outsmarted 2 grown men by jumping everywhere, but eventually gave up the fight. I'm surprised the fish is still alive today, albeit its mouth is now 'cracked' and retarded-looking. (Yeah it was a completely FAILED surgery, poor fish.)

Ok, I'm not making much sense today, but just wanted to post a relatively happier post =D Heading to bed now!

God bless,

Jo

Btw, it's been about 7 months now since I started seeing Joash.. time flies eh? Longer than 7 months if you count the 'sms stage'. I've realised that relationships CAN last, after all. =) Thanks to Joash I've learnt that.. <3 you my dear!

I have been...

... sleeping 3 - 4 hours everyday the past few weeks, except for last Saturday morning (7 hours! =D)

... so busy I feel as if I have no time to breathe properly

... so tired I no longer feel tired, merely accepting and numb to the fact that work has to be done

... longing to have catch-up sessions with friends, friends who sms and call me just to talk, but we're too busy to meet face to face :-(

... in dire need of a real holiday (where I don't need to wake up to an alarm clock, do any thinking about work)

... in dire need of a real date (=P study date not counted!)

... exhausted with life

... wasting precious minutes with this blog post

Okay, back to assignments! It'll all be over soon!

God bless,

Jo

Hectic Gilar

Was in campus from 10am to 10.30pm today. -_- Without a hostel to run back too! (Ok, fine I could have easily bunked in any friend's hostel bed but I wanted to feel fruitful so I spent my free time in the library before heading off for emcee rehearsal at 8pm).

Business Project, Emcee, Assignments, Exams, Quizzes, Presentations, EVERYTHING in the next few days, weeks.

Awfully tiring. -_- Supposed to goto McD at 4am today but I really, really, tak larat, tried to stay up for it, but cannot la. Sorry Yan, hope you read this AFTER your 'birthday surprise'. Haha.

Apart from spending 2 hours in an English class, I spoke Malay the whole entire day today, and by 10.30pm I was feeling a desperate need for English!

Feels odd that I'll be emceeing in English during my Asia Tenggara dinner although none of my AT coursemates have ever heard me speak English to them. -_- It's an odd, odd world. Let's hope they understand me, eh?

Bed bed bed,

Jo

=)

*Contentment*

Had a good day today.

You know why. =)

Hehe.

Although in terms of work and finishing assignments, nothing was done, but it's been a very good day. =)

Dear blog..

I survived this week. /hæ̀ləlújə préz ðə lɔ́rd/!

hahahaha. =) /ájm ɪn lə́v/!

Ok, enough funny funny words.

I've had a rather brutal week, me thinks, with 4 hours of sleep per night.

As I contemplated over this semester, I realised that the source of stress is from my *insert vulgar language here* APK project. It's some business project in which I was dumped in a random group of 20 people, and I'm not getting the cooperation I need for a non-stressful project. And it gets more frustrating when you see your fellow English coursemates (our original plan was to form out own group before UM decided for us -_-) all struggling in THEIR respective *insert vulgar word here* groups because of the same problems.

So, technically ya, this sem has gone awesomely well, if not for that /ǽshòl ə́v ə prɑ́dʒɛkt/. The worry about it is constantly playing on the back of my mind ever since I became group leader of this group. So that's about, 10 weeks of worrying so far? No wonder lah I'm sooo tired!

But it'll end soon. And I've got a loving hubby who's more than willing to show me how to do a business plan. (Trust my lecturer to leave us hanging and not knowing how to even do a business plan. -_- ) And willing to bring me to the heart of KL with prostitutes and pimps and gangsters to source for my business things. θǽŋks dɪ́r!

Life's tiring, but good! =) Gonna rough it out these few weeks, then after that it's a blissful 4 months of taking care of hubby, making sure he doesn't rempit so much holidays and going back to Down Syndrome kids. =)

Going off now!

God bless

Jo

Stress.

Stress + Assignment = Arrgh.

Stress + Assignment + Other non-assignment-related-work = ARRRRGGGGHHH.

Extreme stress + AssignmentS + Other non-assignment-related-but-important-work = Death Sentence.

Somehow last semester was so much easier although I was involved in so many things - badminton, squash, piano, guitar, debate, Chinese class.

=(

Should I go for...

EARC?

ThePlan11?

Sweep's out, cause I think 2 weeks is a bit too much of a commitment, what with my guitar exam coming soon.

EARC's good, but it's RM518.. hmmm... it'll be good exposure though. On the other hand, the purpose of EARC itself isn't exactly on my heart.

ThePlan11... missionary! I went for ThePlan09, like a month before my STPM trials at that time.. it was good, awesome exposure. Unfortunately our plans to follow-up on each other(within my group) faded away after a while. Haha. It's RM300 if I register early...

Truth be told, Sweep's the thing that's really on my heart. Social work. Hmmm. But.. it's 2 weeks! If I don't attend Sweep, I can attend church camp instead. =D

Or maybe I won't go for any. Haha. Just stick to my working with awesomely cute down syndrome kids in Kiwanis lah, right? =) That's the real thing anyway, not 'exposure'. I miss them kids... getting back my zest for life slowly now... =)

Work? 4 months break? (But no job will pay me as good money as JPA does now..) Haha! The only thing I can do that'll more money than some RM4.00 per hour job is giving personal tuition (few hours and I'm a hundred bucks richer!), but that requires commitment beyond 4 months. Cause I'm serious about my teaching and don't believe in leaving my students in the lurch. Anyway I'm not targetting to buy anything at the moment, so won't really be in desperate need of money. Just live on JPA lah. I did my part di as a student, now can shake leg a bit since got scholarship...

Should I go... to... Kuantan? haha! This one confirm di laaar, since the in-laws emailed me the photos of their new castle! (Rusa, bila?) It's a direct hint to visit them instead of them asyik visiting my PJ! Lol. Cute people =)

I'll be going to Bali! =)

And if possible I wanna bawak the bf around Melaka =)

*So many plans*

hahaha.

Liddat no need to attend EARC/ThePlan11/Sweep di lah.

Forgive my Manglish post, excited di thinking of me horridays!

Stwess!

Character Analysis Assignment

Pembentangan Asia Tenggara

Rancangan Perniagaan

Easter Powerkids

PKV's Easter

Short Essay

Hari APK

Theory test

Novel assignment

Pronunciation test

Thai class oral test

Asia Tenggara Assignment

(Just completed) Hubungan Etnik assignment

And probably a few more that I missed out...

My my, and all except one is on/due next week.

-_-

Zzz.

Not to mention my preparation for grade 6 classical guitar exam.

'Tis ok, I'm fine. =) Will just have to take a few deep breaths, and get everything done by this weekend.

Good thing I've got Nescafe in me now.

Thank God for a mom and bro who are willing to pack my meals back home for me. =)

Thank God for a hubby who delivers breakfast at 6am in the morning. Haha! Eh, on his own accord one, I never once asked for such pwincessy treatment! (Poor fella, I'll take care of you better k during my 4 month break. =) Good thing you're such an understanding hubby!)

*Off to do more reading*

We'll survive! We will!

God bless,

Jo

UMUMUMUM

Sitting in UM waiting for my next class...

Am exhausted!! Siiigh.

I predicted this would be a long, tiring sem because it's a freaking 10 consecutive weeks of lecture without a single break. Even the 2 public holidays were on my lightest of days. :( My foreshadowing of an exhausting semester is most unfortunately proving to be right.

For the most part, I would be fine if I weren't stuck in a group project with people I don't know and don't want to do work. A 20 people group project and I'm practically running a one man show!!! Not by choice, mind you.

Zzzzzzzzz.

On the plus side, I've got awesome coursemates. If only I could concentrate fully on my major I would be plenty happy.

So tired!

Just being grumpy cause I had a replacement 8am class today and I detest early classes.

Zzzzzz have a good day!

God bless,
Jo

And hello again =)

Just felt like blogging today.

Hmmm...

What about?

*thinking thinking*

Okay, I'll answer the question so many people seem to ask me.

How did I meet Joash?

He picked me up from the bus stop. To rescue me from taking the cramp, crowded, sure-to-get molested bus. =P Using his Ducati with only a single seat so I had to squeeze real tight and hug him. The very first time I met him.

So romantic, hor??

Please laaah I value myself more than that, hahaha where got simply hug hug guys one! Guys simply touch me di I get angry!

Okay. Hmm. We met online. Eh don't play play k! Cyber love! Hahahahaha!

Chatted and chatted... *love bloomed*

Yeah right lah. 'Tis so easy to fall in love online these days I'm a skeptic on cyber love.

Truth is, I met him in Kuantan when I stayed there.

Oh, did I mention that I used to live in Kuantan when I was 2, 3 years old? Haha don't be illogical lah, I barely remember anything from those days, what more meeting a cute 4 year old boy!

Okay, none of the above is true. Haha.

You're not getting the truth here.

Would you believe things just happened between the two of us one random day?

Yeah, something like that. :-) That's about as close to the truth as we can get.

We've known each other for a while di lah... wasn't some random guy falling for a random gal and vice versa. =)

I let him do all the chasing though =P Now that was the fun part!

I know I'm totally evading the how we met question. ;-) That's for us to know!

God bless,
Jo

It's been exactly a year...

'Twas a Thursday last year, at 7.10pm that you breathed your last...

You spent your last few hours gasping for breath... Moaning in pain at some points...

My complete absolute helplessness...

I remember chatting to ko on MSN while he was rushing back from Australia...

My sudden realisation as I chatted that I could no longer hear you laboring over each breath...

My rushing over to your bed to check...

My calling out to mom in a numb, shocked, calm manner...

She rushing over...

Me telling ko that you've left us for a better place... He was but some hours away from seeing you...

The instant support people provided when they heard the news...

(Haha, Andrea came and brought me Kit Kat and hugged me that very night! My mum still remembers you as the girl who walked in and hugged her without any qualms of seeing dad on the bed! Thanks Andrea =P)

And the rest, memories of everything I had to do the next few days, the numbness...

Later I was told that so many worried for me cause I showed no emotion.

Guess I've just got a stupid belief that showing emotions are for the weak.

Can't say what my stand is anymore regarding that belief, so much has happened...

Anyway dad, I'm happy with my current station of life,

If things hadn't turned out the way it did on September 16, 2008, I would be on a completely different path now.

Don't know where I would be, don't know if I would be contented...

(Doubt Joash and I would ever have crossed paths ;-) )

And one of my principles is to never say 'if' and look back with regret.

To look back and wonder, maybe. To wallow in regret, never. I'm completely powerless in changing my past.

But I am empowered to decide my future.

It's been a tough healing process dad...

But as compared to the pain you went through on earth, I daresay you're happier now. =)

I was named as the Arts & Social Science faculty's top student for last semester, the only 4.0 student to exist in my fac apparently.

Hope you're proud of that!

With plenty of love,
Your precious daughter

Hey hey

Harlo bloggy! =)

I've not blogged in a long long while... There were a couple of attempts to blog before this but I usually ended up saving them as drafts because.. Don't know why really, but haha the last draft was because I felt it was too poorly written to make it public. =P Let's hope this one ends up published, eh? =D

So... What has happened during my hiatus from this blog?

Hmm.. Plenty, I've been so busy...! I lack plenty of sleep and usually catch up during the weekends. During my schooling days I ran on so little sleep, I can't seem to do that these days, I suspect it's largely due to the fact that I actually use my brain during lectures and tutorials now, as compared to school days in which stoning was an everyday affair. Not to mention the fact that studies was so much easier then. Oh, and the fact that every small freaking thing is counted towards my final grade/CGPA! Arrgh. Back in those days I only had to really study during my final few months of a public exam... PMR, SPM... STPM not counted, that was God given. It takes more effort to do well here now... I'm struggling to be consistent in my studies now, if I push everything till the very last minute I've not much hope of doing well.. That only works as far as your first sem during your first year. =(

Will have to be an emcee for my Asia Tenggara dinner soon, people who speak decent English here are such a tiny minority, my Asia Tenggara people practically begged me to be the English speaking emcee because there is no one else who speaks English in that course of mine!

I have Malay speaking days now. Hahaha! I've never spoken so so much Malay in my whole life, until I stepped into no, not UM, but my Asia Tenggara course. My PJ Malay friends were English speaking and most basically sucked in Malay. Most UM people on the other hand find it amazing that I speak English all the time. But my Malay is ok la, I understand them and they understand me, except for the few Kelantanese who sometimes speak with their super strong accent. By the end of my 3.5 years here I'm guessing my Malay will have shot sky high!

I'm trying to find back my 'mojo' and zest for doing things, now most things are done half-heartedly... Hmmm... It'll come back, I hope. Passion's a mighty strong motivator in doing things.

I've still got mixed feelings about my varsity badminton team... The heart says go sometimes, the head tells me to prioritize. Zzz. I'll listen to my head this time I think..

My relationship's doing well, very well. =) Been learning a lot from it, mainly how to adapt and think of my other half before I bulldoze my way into things! =P I now understand all the poems on love that I learn about, how sweet or bitter love can make one. Haha, before this I could never 'connect' with these poems, because I never truly experienced love between man and woman.

I feel this post is a rather 'monotonous' post... So I better post it before I decide it looks better in the draft section. =P hahaha, looks like I gotta find my 'mojo' for blogging too!

God bless,
Jo

Phewww

Finally have some time to catch a breather. I had a busier day today as compared to normal uni days!

Got up 12.45pm, practiced guitar cause I had class at 2pm, and not been too consistent in practice lately, so practiced lor. Then went off for youth 3-5.. stayed on in church for worship practice.. till... 8pm. Got back home, showered, and here I am, blogging.

No time to eat today! :-( And my fridge is quite, quite empty! Nevermind, better lose weight first before CNY/feasting begins... ;-)

Anyway, that's all for now, I'm on my only holiday during this semester, after this it's 10 weeks straight of everything. *Takes a deep deep DEEEP breath*

Gonna rest now!

God bless,
Jo

Playing with HTML

Today played around a lot with blog templates.. and the HTML format cause I helped my other half with his design... I more than just changed the design, eh dear. =P! Looking at my blog, I remember designing it soooo many years ago, at that time I played around with so much HTML I could adjust so so many things. Now I barely know anything :( And lazy to start again unless the need arises.

haha, but looking at my blog design, it's relatively 'holy', eh??? I think I added those verses in form 2.. the height of my dabbling with some online churchy stuff that made me hmm ok let's not be blasphemous.

Anyway, I won't bother to change the design, you just don't disturb history. I started blogging when I was in my first year of teenhood, and I'm done with teenhood now! That'll be a good... 7 years?? SEVEN years??? Wow!

Ok, just a short one, I'm off, too much computer today, eyes funny liao. Muh other half reached Kuantan safely! =)

God bless,
Jo

Elloz =)

Ok, I've been a really bad bad blogger. Bad bad Joanne! :(

haha, I've got so so many half-written posts in my drafts, that's why. I suddenly get uninspired so I just end up saving my posts.. half-meaning to complete them later. =P

I just turned 20 on the 12th of Jan! =)

At 12+ midnight on the 12th, Joash came by to see me.. haha, his plan to set off fireworks with his friends in front of my house at 12 midnight failed! Poor him.. but it was good enough to see him! =)

Next day, started out on a rather dreary note.. classes... but after an English class conducted by the most sarcastic instructor I've ever had thus far, my coursemates surprised me! With 5 candles on 5 colourful cupcakes and a chocolate rose and pudding and coconut chocolates! You guys and gals are so so sweet, I really wasn't expecting anything. :-) I mean, we've known each other only a few months.. and you guys actually did that! Was so so touched =)

After class, went home, went out with mum and brother for food...

Night time, the hubby took me out to dinner.. wow we really ate! He claims I didn't eat much but I ate A LOT. And he served me the whole night.. haha, I'm becoming spoilt and un-independent laaah with him around! And he kept apologising for the lack of a cake... -_- (As if I was even expecting one!)

After dinner, on the way home........

To cut the long story short, my sweet hubby actually got my dear friends to surprise me at home with a cake! Hahaha, was so so so shocked! People rarely manage to surprise me. But after what my coursemates did, and to suddenly walk into MY OWN HOME with friends singing the birthday song.. I was completely, absolutely dumbfounded. Never been caught so so so offguard by anything before! But it was a pleasant night =)

After everyone went off.. the couple took a walk in the park.. and.. he did the sweetest thing ever. I think I had so many surprises that by the time he gave me the biggest surprise I was struck speechless, and really couldn't think of anything to say. Haha. (No, I'm not divulging what he did.. some sweet events and memories aren't meant to be posted for the whole world to read.) But really, I was just completely taken aback by the day's events, I couldn't speak. Really, really couldn't speak. (And I've never been struck dumb like that before either!) Everytime I look at the ring on my finger with our names engraved inside, I still marvel at that sweet, sweet, night... =) =) =)

Anyway, we changed our relationship status on Facebook, and surprisingly I've not been bombarded with comments. haha! I think cause most are too busy replying to my comments on their birthday wishes. :-) And I'm quite, quite happy to keep it that way!

So anyway, yeah just a post to say that we're 'officially' a couple! ;-) It's been an amazing journey thus far, I've changed my skeptical view on relationships and I now believe that some relationships can actually work out. :-) Good thing I've got such a patient boyfriend who will never push me beyond my comfort zone!

And if you're hoping to read my blog for any fights between us, you're not getting any. Hahaha, I know some people would love to read such details but really, such details aren't meant to be shared with the world. Suffice to say, we've been good and steady so far, and we both knew the question was ripe and ready to be asked. =P haha, I'll really try to avoid fights but hmm I'm a wee bit stubborn at times! Don't woggly dear, I'll try not to make you angry. *sweet smile* LOL!

Ok ok, I know this post has been sooo un-Joanne with some lovey-dovey words here and there, but hey, being in a relationship has changed me in some aspects. Am trying to be a better girlfriend, haha eh not easy sometimes k when you're so used to living independently.. especially for someone who's walked home alone and stayed home alone since standard 1! That's practically 12 years of surviving on my own, worrying about my needs alone. Now I think of my other half before I take any action.. it's really different in that sense, but less chance of ending up raped/kidnapped/killed I guess. Haha!

Ok, signing off, have a blessed day!
Jo

Have a blessed new year! =)

Was intending to post yesterday, the last day of 2010. But.. forgot about it. Or rather was too lazy to post about it.

Anyway, 2010 has been a year of life-changes. If you follow my blog that's what it would have appeared to be, anyway.

1. I did superbly well for STPM.
2. I lost the man of my life.
3. I'm actually a varsity student. WOW.
4. I got another man of my life.. in a different sense. ;-)
5. I got the brother home! Whee that's fun =D
6. My faith has increased so abundantly in God, despite my misgivings and doubts about so many issues.. ultimately I go back to the basis of it all.

I've been broken over and over again in 2008, 2009 and 2010, it reached a climax in which I was merely numb to the world. Numb to everything around me. Appearing hard-hearted to close friends. Pretending to care when in fact, I was merely putting on a front because the inside of me was so so hardened I couldn't care less for the hurts of others. I was tired of being faithful, I was sick of being broken, I was just plain exhausted with life. And yet I trudged on, because somewhere deep inside me I knew to give up on life would have been ultimately selfish to my loved ones, to people who still depended on me. Just reread my last posts of 2008 and 2009, and looking back, I have no idea how I survived those tumultuous days. Numbing myself to everything around me.. a survival trait I suppose. At least I didn't go mad. Or maybe I did... hmmm..

But through it all, I kept running back to God, when man failed me over and over again. And in His own silent, gentle way, He comforted me. :-)

So I sincerely hope that 2011 will be a better year. If the final few months of 2010 was an indication of anything, 2011 looks to be quite, quite optimistic. I won't deny that challenges are bound to arise, but let's hope that they are manageable, ok? With so many changes in life I'm sure problems will crop up. But for now, life's pretty much ok...

Have a blessed new year! :-)

Ho ho ho...

Christmas is tomorrow. Thanks to the interesting church I was brought up in, I don't celebrate Christmas. Hahaha. No biggie to me, at least I no longer condemn christmas, and hey that's a humungous step from where I came from. ;-) I'm just 'feelingless' over it, no sense of festivity or whatsoever. Not that I'm complaining. =P

Bro and I did do something last year, cause we wanted to cheer the house up when dad came home from the hospital. We bought a small Christmas tree, probably as a sign that we're rebels against some people.

Was looking at dad's facebook profile earlier, and it hit me hard... I still can't believe cancer took dad away. It's impossible, really. But I learnt early on in life that fairytales aren't true, so this is reality I guess. Sigh. I'm not even working yet!

Anyway, enough nostalgia. Life is life, and life goes on. I am who I am today because of what life put me through..o

Someone asked me if I know what hardship is. The truth? Physical hardship, not enough food and material goods, no. But emotional and spiritual hardship, I would say most most definitely yes, I understood that from a very young age.

Haha, ok ok I'll stop here. Last night in Australia, and we're all just focused on going home. I lub Malaysia, despite all its flaws and policies and injustice and whatsoever negative connotations. :) got a driver to go home tomorrow ;-) the hubby! HAHA!

Have a very blessed Christmas! Hehehe!
Jo

Elloo from Aus

Decided to blog from Melbourne before I go back to Malaysia. Actually really lazy but decided my blog deserves it. Currently blogging from my iPad which my brother bought for me. Haha, an iPad! I'm not techy enough to actually ever buy one for myself, so it's a pretty pleasant surprise.

Hmm. Australia has been pretty fun, but my heart is with Malaysia. I dunno la, guess I'm a true Malaysian at heart. Haha! It's been the longest holiday ever I've taken, and it does feel somewhat uncomfortable to just abandon everything at home to come here. But at the same time, its been so relaxing, since my maxis line doesn't work here since I don't have roaming on my postpaid. So... No smses nor calls that may disrupt my holidays. Only call a certain person ;-)

Nothing much to blog la, can't wait to return home, that's all! Hahaha. Gotta work dog hard on my guitar, exam coming! Can't wait to reach grade 8 haha so excited.

Hmm. Nothing much la, I'll stop here. Have a pleasant day :) this iPad corrects my engrish so if I dun notice sometimes it changes my manglish to weiiiirrrd stuff. I called someone a harlot today! Just cause I typed 'harlo'. HAHAHAHA!!!

That's all, God bless!
Jo

Wow

I'm officially DONE WITH Sem 1 of university! Haha, my Thai coursemates are still in the hall answering their paper. I left after an hour. :-)

Anyway, quick updates, gotta rush off to pack some things for Aus.

1. I'm leaving tonight, gonna travel some 6000km? Alone! Haha. Such an adventure that I'm looking forward to. My bro is worried my handphone won't work in Aus, cause that's what happened to my relatives yesterday, 1 out of 6 hps worked. So he says if mine doesn't work, I'm a gonecase. Haha. Ok la, he didn't put it so crudely/brutally. But hmm, if it doesn't work I'll have an exciting time. ;-)

2. I got out of my hostel. :-) My hostel has been.. well, an interesting place. Much as I like my roommates, I had responsibilities at home that simply didn't allow me to stay on and on in my hostel for days/weeks/months on end. My friends used it as a refuge/run-away place from home. I never had that privilege, because running away from home is simply too selfish an option for me. Haha, how many times have I longed to run away? I still look back on my Kedah days with fondness, despite my short stint there, being away from home was awesome.. some other aspects weren't pleasant, but staying away from home? ;-) But back then I didn't have responsibilities at home.. I only had to worry about me, myself, and I. I think of the universities I could have applied for with my STP results. But sometimes, running isn't an option. Despite how much your heart yearns for it. And it's safe to say that God has been gracious to me, especially when you put others ahead of your own selfish desires. :-)

3. Bro's convocation tomorrow.. I remember how my dad so proudly insisted that he would attend his convocation last year, from his hospital bed. I remember the fleeting doubt I had when he said that. And when he continued to fight for his life early this year, we always thought he was fighting on to make it to Aus, for tomorrow's event. (To say he'll make it for mine was a far-cry, but ko's convo still seemed slightly, slightly possible last year.)

Anyway, before I get all emo-ey, despite all that's happened, ko's gonna graduate! And I'm so darn proud of him. Don't play-play man, ANU Actuarial Science! Hahaha. It's been a horribly struggle for him the past 3 years, and this past year has been especially hard on him. Still, he made it, and became the man of the family when he had to eventually step up in that role. :-) How many sons would actually become man when horribly painful trials come? He didn't whine, that's for sure. At least, not to us. And for that, we're grateful.

4. Learning to be not-so-independent has been a strangely weird task for me lately. Since I got Joash in my life, I've realised that sometimes, we don't have to go through life alone. :-) He's been taking care of me in ways I've hardly experienced before.. always been independent since young I guess, it's a pleasant change! :-) Hehe.

Ok, I'm off to pack stuff.

God bless,

Jo

Now that Lit's over...

DANG I wish I went for National Conference (NC). An event that occurs ONCE every FIVE years and I actually decided NOT to go??? -_-

I better be doing my Masters man. But I'll be OLD by the next NC. :-( The people around me will be little kids!

Oh well.

I didn't go because.. I'm flying off to Aus next week, and I'll be back Christmas day, then I'll be off to youth camp 27th to 30th Dec. Next sem starts 3rd January. So I thought I don't wanna rush everywhere like that.. become old faster! And of course got other reasons also lah. Lol!

I asked to move out of college last week. Today they called me up to tell me my 'alasan tak munasabah'. Grrrr. I asked them about my friends who stay farther away from UM and managed to get out. They were ah whatever lah. They asked me see my Pengetua. I'll do that lah, if they can fit me in an appointment this week. Or I may have to do what I have to do to get out lah... -_- Not that I want to but sometimes I have to.

On another random note, I bought new jeans! Hahaha. Because my old jeans simply just slipped off me, it was becoming ludicrous. I held on wearing to them for so long, because I bought them Levi's (LEVI'S!!) at a warehouse sale this year. :-( But the past month or so finally gave up on them lah. So I finally have fitting jeans again! My attire to campus and church izzz complete. =D I bought a pair today that I've been looking out for but they didn't have my size earlier, got it at 50% off.. which means it cost less than RM30..! Ok lah, with this kinda price it beats my Levi's from warehouse sales. =D And one of my jeans has a Bible verse on the back pocket. Lol! So cute lah.

Mum's birthday today! Gonna makan at a kawan's house for her birthday. Ah, I love fwens. :-) They make sure your family's well-taken care of!

OH. Another thing. My maid (Nao Tha) RAN AWAY! -_- We got her a few months ago, and she ran off yesterday. I'm still puzzled over the 'WHY'. We gave her more than what most maids can dream off. We did up the toilet for her, we cleared out our store room and gave her a nice bed, big cupboard, fan, did curtain railings for her room, made her fat... attempted to teach her English but she refused to learn, she took so many of my personal items without permission but I merely bit back my tongue and took back only what I wanted/needed to use.

She ran off yesterday, probably planned lah, the only time Mom and I ever leave the house together is on a Sunday morning (even that is very rare. I usually leave earlier). Other times we're way too random for her to plan anything. According to a neighbour, she went out through the backgate, got into a taxi with a couple (guy + girl). I'm kinda worried for her safety but she's such a smart girl... she's one brave, lion-hearted adventurous maid. Stick me in a foreign land with no knowledge of the foreign language and I'll be one cowardly kitten hiding in the house. Of course, if I were abused, running away is a survival option. But since she enjoyed life so much, it definitely wasn't such an option for her. Anyway, she didn't steal ANYTHING.. to our knowledge lah. So we're glad about that. But why? That's the big question mark. Normally people who wanna run off will steal whatever they can get their hands on. And there were so many things she could have taken. But she didn't.

And that's it.. plenty of random facts today. :-)

God bless,

Jo

Har-rroooowwww

My classical guitar playing is improving again! Haha. Was stagnant for a while, I was beginning to get worried. -_- Then my teacher got me to memorise the pieces.. and voila! Instant improvement overnight! :-) Guess I'm not completely 'one' with my guitar yet, can't automatically feel the frets with my eyes closed. Have to keep eyes on my left hand. Lol. Still, I compare my playing now as compared to when I first started learning it 2+ years back, I was a complete NOOB back then. Like, absolute complete noob, don't know a thing about guitar, dunno how to hold/strum/pluck/anything. And now my teacher is talking about grade 8.. although grade 6 also not yet sit. Haha.

I sat for my first uni exam on Tuesday/23rd Nov. :-) The thought of a uni exam appeared intimidating, and really, the hall was HUGE, so it was kinda intimidating. But the paper was ok.. TITAS, and my 2nd paper yesterday was ok too. So yeah, guess I'm now a full-fledged uni student. So unbelievable, hor? I still find it hard to believe. I can still remember my kindergarten days! And the brother is gonna graduate end of this year.. he's gonna WORK. And I can still remember all the small kid games we used to play.. hmmm.

But growing up is/was fun. Painful at times, but every experience, whether bitter, sad, exhilarating, or surprising only served to mould me into who I am today. I look back and think, what would I have changed about the things I did? And I think, nothing, really. I could have worked harder on History and Econs and gotten As instead of A-s for them in STPM, but Econs and History were already my strongest subjects in form 6, so saying that would be plain overdoing it.

I could have... I could have trained badminton to a higher level instead of quitting so early. I remember my coach calling me up multiple times imploring me back to training, talking something about talent and whatsoever. But I.. honestly I was tired of the dog-eat-dog world and felt that badminton was consuming my life. I wanted to play it as a social game, not a stressful one. And my parents were not supportive of me playing so competitively, and weren't willing to fetch me around for training as more supportive parents did. So really, there wasn't much of a choice giving up competitive badminton there. There are times I look back and wonder how far I could have gone.. my kaki training have reached levels I can only dream of now. But regret? Maybe just a sense of wondering where I could be if I had taken that path. But no, no regrets. Nostalgia and memories of those good ol' days, yes. :-)

Eh sorry, don't know why my post suddenly started talking about the past. Probably just looking back now that I'm feeling like a uni student. =P

Hehehe. Another 3 papers to go! Then I'm off to Aus.. then youth camp.. then... next sem starts again. -_- But it's ok, next sem's a rather short one, and we've got few months of hols to look forward to after that! Since MOHE decided the sem should start in September instead of July next year. :-D Ok, I'm not making sense. It's just that I really do love counting down towards holidays.

And yes, the Jo's are doing quite, quite well together. More than quite well, actually. Lol! Just because I don't blog for sometime doesn't mean our relationship is going down the drain. ;-) I'm discovering just how many people read my blog when they congratulate me, and mmm it's scary. AFAIK, I used to be the only consistent reader of my blog.

God bless,

Jo

Edit: After thinking over my post, I think I've no regrets about my past simply because I'm not the kinda girl who looks back at her past with regret. What's done is done, and nothing I can do but learn lessons from the past and move on. I'll probably whine over it for a while but basically history is history. Of course, this is also probably due to the fact that I've never done anything profoundly stupid (yet) that'll have permanent negative effects on me. Lol! ;-)

Edit #2: Looking at some Facebook photos, I suddenly realise I do have 1 regret! That I did not make more permanent good friends from school. But I guess I've always been slightly different from muh friends and entering Arts stream didn't aid matters much. So yeah, that's one regret! Hahaha.

Harlo Bloggy!

After a not-so-long hiatus, I'm back!

Because I wanted the last post to be special and to remain up there for quite a while. 10 days is enough, no?

Today I feel like blogging about the blessings in my life! :-) In no particular order...

- I thank God for dad! He taught me so much, not through lectures and sermons and preachings as some parents are wont to do, but through his actions and attitude. Never once have I doubted my dad to be a hypocrite, whatever he shared, whether from the pulpit, among friends or family, was exactly what he practiced. He taught me the meaning of integrity, and though I must admit I'm not as perfect as he was in this sense.. still a bit crooked la, never pay samans, clever to twist my words to get out of unpleasant situations, get friends to sign attendance sheet for me... but I'm still learning, dad, still learning. :-)

- I thank God for mom! She taught me, again not through words, but through deeds and actions. Particularly, how to serve others. I inherited her servant heart la. It's a joy for me to help others in need, and I won't hesitate to help a friend if I am able to help them. I think I inherited her strength to go through life too. :-)

- I thank God for my brother! I think he's my real best friend! Cause I tell him everything. Hahaha. Nearly everything... Which brother will get up at 6am to cook maggi for his sis who's gonna sit for STPM that day... when our parents were in hospital.. became my driver during STPM... Any guy who treats his sis like a princess will treat his gf/wife as precious gold! Whoever she is, she's one blessed person. :-)

- I thank God for my beloved friends! Whom I can rely on to tell my deepest sorrows and greatest joys and trust they'll be along my side all the time! I thank God for each friend who has been wonderful to me, and just being plain.. lovely. We're like rocks flowing down a river, rubbing/geserring each other into smooth stones! Right right? :-)

- I thank God for my rusa! Who constantly says that he isn't perfect... Dear, only Jesus was perfect. And I'm not perfect. So really, it would be odd for me to demand for a perfect guy.

-_- Thanks for teaching me how to trust.. something I find very very hard to do. I used to/still think relationships are DARN complicated at times but it's been a good journey.. so far.. considering we've barely began, eh? ;-) I don't know what lies in the future for us, but we've both agreed that God is the head of our relationship, so we'll trust in Him, right? :-)

- I thank God for PPBC! Although I've barely been 2 years in this church, it almost feels like the church I grew up in. I thank God for friends whom I can rely on, friends to talk to, friends to hang out with. I've grown so much spiritually and mentally through PPBC, and really I don't know where I'll be without these bunch of fun-loving, God-loving people. Probably out there sesating in the world because 2 years ago, the 3 most important foundations of my life - family, church, and studies were shaken, badly horribly terribly shaken. I'm now missing an earthly dad, ostracised by the paternal side of my family. I'm in a local U, on a government scholarship. I'm not in some far away prestigious university on some prestigious scholarship as my teachers, family and I myself dreamt back then. But PPBC has been the biggest blessing ever! God is a faithful God. :-)

And lastly... I thank God for being God! :-) How many times have I cried out to You till peace and joy washes over my heart.. :-) I've not been very good lately, and yet You're still faithful to me. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU, GOD. =D

God bless,

Jo

Blessed 55th Birthday Dad!

~Remember remember the 5th of November...~

Then it struck me that you were born on the 6th of Nov! :-)

So I'm gonna make this post special by adding more pictures than usual. Ok, fine, I don't usually post pictures, period. So by posting more than 1 picture in this post means it's a special post! Right dad? :-)

You were always doing odd things like this!

Ever-smiling, even before the operation. You rock, dad!

Strawberry.. from Camerons :-) You were balding slightly by then but your spirit was up up up!

I know you're happy there, and we're getting on with life here too. The house has changed so so so much, it's like a brand-new home.

What have you missed since I last held your hand?

My STPM results (ok, you didn't miss this, it was a week before you left, but you were exceptionally physically weak by then so I'm posting this):

In shock =)

Teachers were as happy as I was! Some of them knew about the battle I was facing.

Me calling home only to find out that Hospice was around and the fact that I had to collect STPM results on that day was forgotten as my news was hurriedly brushed aside to make way for more morphine injections.

I went jalan-jalaning with my friends on that day, with Yee, Wai Yan and Yew Leung.. just to celebrate. We ate in Carls Junior! Freaking expensive burgers, but hey, indulging occasionally is fine. =) I remember Joash calling me while I was walking in 1 Utama to congratulate me.. (Kinda random to bring Joash up here but you'll find out why soon...)

What else?

Being named Taman Sea’s top STPM student:

Going into a round round ball and being spinned around in a giant washing machine!

Ended up with a horrid bruise after torturing myself:

Got meself in University Malaya, with a bunch of awesome Engrish people! =)

My hostel room that I'm gonna abandon real soon. Haha. Actually I've already abandoned it...

My Engrish people.. a couple of them missing. Awesome peeps!

Went for Fast Wait and Pray (FWP) in Kluang. I DROVE your car to Kluang! Amazing Perdana!

Helped to organise UM's CF camp and UM's debate competition.

Ushered in a wedding.

Got the JPA scholarship. =)

Am using your super-chun N97 Nokia phone!

Played in my first squash competition ever in UM's inter-college sports competition (SUKMUM) =)

Played badminton in SUKMUM.

Was asked to join MASUM's badminton team.. training alongside national players! hahaha.

Yep, I've been having a busy busy sem, probably to fill in the void left in me since you left.

But.. God is good. :-) I saved the best for the last...

I got meself a boy real man! HAHAHA =D You know him.. my rempit aka Joash! ;-) Mum loves him, I'm sure you love him too! Hahaha =D

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Rempit

Occasional bapok

(Occasionally nerdy too, but for the sake of his pride I shall not post up the nerdier side of him.. =D)

So really, we're doing fine here. :-) Going off for ko's convocation in Aus end of this year, pity you have to miss it. But who knows, maybe you can see all things from where you are.

So here I am, not as round as before, as you can compare in the pictures. Not as smiley as before, people tell me to smile more now. Can you believe that??

The bird I bought from Kedah to remind you of me when I thought I'll be sticking on to my scholarship! :-) But you got the real deal home.. ME! =)

The more gangster side of me.. =D

I'm matching red and black! hahaha =)

And that's me! Playing a red guitar hehehe. Pity you can't teach me the finer art of playing acoustic guitar.. 'tis ok, I've got others to teach me! My beast.. ;-)

Beauty & the Beast!

As you can see from my photos, I'm surrounded by awesome people. And a special someone, of course.

So all in all, I'm coping quite, quite well, dad. Some questions will never be answered and some wounds will never completely heal, but we've got our heavenly Dad, Amen? :-)

Once again, have a BLESSED BIRTHDAY DAAAD! =)