It's been exactly a year...

'Twas a Thursday last year, at 7.10pm that you breathed your last...

You spent your last few hours gasping for breath... Moaning in pain at some points...

My complete absolute helplessness...

I remember chatting to ko on MSN while he was rushing back from Australia...

My sudden realisation as I chatted that I could no longer hear you laboring over each breath...

My rushing over to your bed to check...

My calling out to mom in a numb, shocked, calm manner...

She rushing over...

Me telling ko that you've left us for a better place... He was but some hours away from seeing you...

The instant support people provided when they heard the news...

(Haha, Andrea came and brought me Kit Kat and hugged me that very night! My mum still remembers you as the girl who walked in and hugged her without any qualms of seeing dad on the bed! Thanks Andrea =P)

And the rest, memories of everything I had to do the next few days, the numbness...

Later I was told that so many worried for me cause I showed no emotion.

Guess I've just got a stupid belief that showing emotions are for the weak.

Can't say what my stand is anymore regarding that belief, so much has happened...

Anyway dad, I'm happy with my current station of life,

If things hadn't turned out the way it did on September 16, 2008, I would be on a completely different path now.

Don't know where I would be, don't know if I would be contented...

(Doubt Joash and I would ever have crossed paths ;-) )

And one of my principles is to never say 'if' and look back with regret.

To look back and wonder, maybe. To wallow in regret, never. I'm completely powerless in changing my past.

But I am empowered to decide my future.

It's been a tough healing process dad...

But as compared to the pain you went through on earth, I daresay you're happier now. =)

I was named as the Arts & Social Science faculty's top student for last semester, the only 4.0 student to exist in my fac apparently.

Hope you're proud of that!

With plenty of love,
Your precious daughter