A good day...

Well, socially, that is. Haha, studies-wise, FAIL.

After lunch with the church peeps I went home to wait for more guests. :-) Guests from Kuantan and some old church peeps.

Good time of chatting, despite the BIIIG age-gap between a kid like me -_- and the rest of them adults.

One issue that was brought was the inhibitions we(those who have left) have to get rid of, slowly but surely, of many ideas and stances we learnt before. Which is true, really. I still struggle with many issues, having been brought up as a kid in there. I suppose if you're an adult with already fixed ideas and all it's not so easy to change your view (still happens though) about some things, but as a kid it's relatively easy to mould one's mindset and ways. I remember absorbing things eagerly at times, and other times turning loose the rebel in me.

Looking at each of the ex-members, we're all nursing our own different wounds and hurts, whether family-wise, or individually. Mending relationships after we've been encouraged to destroy them, rereading the Bible again and again to see if things we were taught before is really of God, slowly but sure assimilating into another world we've always thought was warped and distorted. Accepting and HELPING, not judging or CONDEMNING those who have trouble.

Life's not all fine and dandy now, however. Some still have loved ones caught in there, who are being taught to disrespect and detest those who have left (including their own parents). It broke my heart to see one man who used to be such a bubbly, cheerful man changed to a quiet, constantly-looking-down person... a victim who's fighting to have his family to love him again. I felt (and still feel) anguish as I heard a mother speak softly of a son who believes that his parents are out there to get him, to destroy his relationship(s)... yet another victim.

Groups of friends have been broken up, settling into different churches.. and from what I hear, not all are altogether happy(how does one fit completely in with a group of people who've known each other for years and years??). But the good thing is some have started serving, someway or other, whether in church or out of church, in various ministries. Something we never had the chance to do before, that's for sure. And learning so much more through going out into the community, and not confining ourselves to the 4 walls of a building.

It hurts to see broken lives. Worse still, caused by a group who was supposed to strengthen each other through tough circumstances, and not vice versa.

However, the way God used Joseph's life.. from favourite child to slave to prisoner to mighty ruler(it's worse, isn't it, when you crash from a comfortable position to depths you'd never imagine)... I know God will use each one of us, whatever circumstances we've been through, whatever hurt we're still nursing, and mould us into His very own pottery, to be used for His almighty kingdom.

Before they left, one of them(a pastor) prayed. And what an interesting prayer he prayed. ;-) He prayed for my parents... and me. And whoa! what a prayer for me. I'm still reeling from it, actually. Lol. He prayed that if God wants me to be a missionary for Him, so be it. And that I would get my parents' blessings. Hmmmmm.

Well, anyway, yeah, that's about it.

We've all still got a long way to go, God still has many plans for us, I only pray that none of us will ever give up hope on Him, despite situations that seem hopeless.

And... let's be honest, I don't know who reads my blog because I don't keep track. Er, I think I once put a tracker or something but with my no-internet-savvy-skills I don't know what happened to it. So if you're from MT and reading my blog(and doubtless reporting all things), I'm just gonna plead with you: Please, do not condemn us for what we have done. It's not easy to leave our comfort zones and to step into uncharted territory, worst still, without our families(for some of us), but some things have to be done. I know I've stopped talking to those of you who tried to get in touch with me, but I was, and still am, sorting through all my confusion.

Perhaps I should have kept in contact with you, but I was afraid, at that time, that all things would be reported back, and in turn hurt my family. Hurt me nevermind-lah, I don't care anymore, but I'm fiercely protective of my family. I know I've been blocked on Facebook.. again, maybe my fault for shutting you all out. It was, and still is, a healing process, and I don't know how long it'll take. But I'm ready now, if any of you read this(you know who you are) to talk, to explain matters. I won't try to 'brainwash' you, and you can try to explain things to me, if you wish. I'll try my level best not to be cynical (a useful skill from MT ;-)). I've not 'lost my salvation' and I'm not (really) a rebellious kid (I love my parents LOADS k), I've gotten so so so much closer to our heavenly Dad in the midst of all this.

That's all for today,
God bless ya loads,
Jo