Haze is gone..

Okay okay, I'm sad. Haze is gone, school is on. *Sigh*

Someone gave me a rather silly site today. Lol! Must have been created by a sadist.

Tomorrow can't go for training.. tuition. Another sigh.

Can't finish Science and Math in time for gerak gempur.. another sigh.

Sad sad day.

Posting short stuff.. need to study now.

Haiz...

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

By the way, I may not be blogging for a while. See how it goes, how I feel, and how much I have to study.

Haze

The haze is bad. Very very bad. API(Air Pollutant Index) for PJ was 349. And that was at 11am this morning! It's even worse now. Who knows, it may even have reached the Hazardous level(API-400 above)!

So far it hasn't affected me much. Other than the smell, I am still alive and well. We'll see how long more I'll stay well. Hehe.

School has been cancelled tomorrow.

Funny eh. Some countries get school cancelled because of snow. Kids can go out and enjoy the snow then. And school is cancelled due to haze here! And we're not allowed to go out for fear of endangering out lungs(not that it's nice to go out, we come back smelling like smokers).

Life is weird.

Stuck at home.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

CHAMPION!

Well, we breezed through semi finals 15-5, 15-10, and finals we won 15-1, 15-6.

This tournament was MSSS level too... we represented Petaling, our district.

Had a great partner. Hehe.

We got a gold medal, a Dunlop Racquet bag, a Milo hamper, and a Dunlop racquet.

I didn't play to win those things though. I played to prove something to myself. I really don't know how, what, or why we did it. We thrashed supposedly 'strong' opponents. This is by far my biggest achievement, a gold medal at a MSSS level tournament.

God is great! I didn't ask to win the game.. I asked to play the game to the best of my capabilities. And my coach told me I played a great game. I really don't know how.

I'm seriously considering training everyday after PMR. *shrugs* Just want to see how far I can get.

I've been training under a new coach for 6 months now(not including March, I dislocated my shoulder then) with a new programme. Twice a week. Supposed to be 3 times, but my Wednesday is taken up by tuition. Haiz. At one point when I doubted and questioned I stopped improving. Then I decided just to follow without questioning. Yep. Been improving since then.

Well, I'll leave it to You-Know-Who =)

Really a fantastic weekend. My brother and I did it all with His guidance. =) As the saying goes, do your best and leave the rest to God.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Wow

My bro did it.

BK Quiz 2005-Champion

At NATIONAL level.

Hehehe. Wow. I told him he could do it!!!

Of ALL days to have a badminton tournament too! I would have given it up to watch it if not for letting my partner down. Arrgh.

He and his partner won by a mere mark in the tie-breaker.

Wow.

I TOLD HIM!

Lol.

Anyway I'm in semifinals tomorrow. The Mix Doubles tournament. Don't ask me how I won the quarter finals today, I'm still stunned. But we won.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Another one..

Had some surprises today. Real shockers. Won't tell you what they are though.

Life is so tiring at times.

Sometimes I just love being young.. sometimes I wish I will just grow up and forget about teenhood(childhood?)!

As you can guess, I'm feeling the latter now.

Sigh. Hate being left out. Hate being thought(or told) that I'm not mature enough. Hate being different at times. Hate being abnormal.

Hate using the word Hate.

14 years old is a really weird age I think. I mean, at 12 or 13, fine, I can still be called a kid. But at 14 you're stuck between childhood and being an 'older teen'. The younger ones look at you as the 'older' one.. the older ones look at you as the 'younger' one. Arrgh!

Sometimes I wish.....

Nah it's no use saying. Plus, I'm not too sure who reads this blog so I had better watch my mouth(or fingers?).

Life is sad when you don't fit in anywhere specific. One day I'm here, one day I'm there. In some places, I'm totally alone.

Gosh. Sad sad sad! It's 11.15pm now.

Can't even decide my future.

You know, sometimes I wish I didn't have the choice to do anything. Life is so much simpler that way, isn't it? Like the book 'The Giver'. They got rid of choices.

Yes.. can you imagine life without choice?

Life would be even worst.

~Lord, forgive me for thinking like this~

Okay, it's time to move on. Sleep this night away, get back to being happy.

Still.. I'm disappointed. Sigh. Why must I be so YOUNG/OLD?! Why can't I be 12 or 17? Why FOURTEEN??!

Oh well. I'll be 15 soon. Not that it's better than 14, but hey, it's a step closer to SOMEWHERE and not IN BETWEEN.

Off to bed.
Joanne

Sad.

Life has been getting worse lately.

Saw a flasher again last Monday. I was all alone too. Was so afraid he was a rapist.. thanks God he didn't follow me. I didn't react at all, just pretended I didn't see what he wanted me to see. I didn't know how else to react!

Just back from my piano practical exam. Was really horrible. I couldn't play the harmonic scale even though she gave me THREE!

Pieces were not too good, but would have to do. Oral went.. really really terrible. I think I answered everything wrong but the perfect/imperfect+minor/major key. My singing went.. :'(.

I don't know how strict she is. Sigh. Got another lady examiner. Sigh. Wish they had local examiners you know? I already feel so nervous before an exam, with a caucasian lady breathing down my neck + a funny accent.. I just blew it. I blew everything. Bye bye cash. Bye bye cert.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Sad..

Man, when you ask God to humble you.. it's really really tough man.

All the things seem to tumble at once.. catching me right in the middle of it.

Still, Your will be done, Lord. Change me to be like You.

I'm quite upset over some things now.. it ain't easy being moulded to become the perfect clay, the smooth pebble.

Little did I know how much impact this song would cause when I really meant it.

Make Me A Servant
Make me a servant, humble and meek

Lord, let me lift up, those who are weak.

And may the pray'r of my heart always be;

Make me a servant, make me a servant,

Make me a servant, today.


Nonetheless, my treasure lies in heaven above, and not below. On earth I've tasks to fulfill. Who cares about earthly treasures where backstabbers and jealousy can steal it all?

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

How athletic are you?

I'm actually utterly shocked at how accurate this test was!

The Second Stringer You scored 73%

You are The Second Stringer. You train pretty hard sometimes. You're a pretty good performer. You just lack the intensity and drive that would take you to that final step. And maybe you're okay with that. Perhaps you're cursing this test as you read this, but deep down, you know you could be doing more, don't you? It's okay. You're welcome on my team... Just don't be surprised to sit out every now and then.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 59% on goals

Link: The How Athletic Are You Test written by dmhawkmoon on Ok Cupid

God, grant me the self-discipline needed to improve.. thanks =)

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Today in class my Science teacher brought a Van De Graaf electrostatic operator.

Hahaha! Amazing, 1 girl's long hair stood up! LOL! I could do nothing but laugh and laugh!

Anyway, I managed to get all an A for all my PMR subjects. I was hoping that I'd get 10 A's.. but I missed for Art. Arrgh. By a LARGE margin. Oh well. I got a 65%. Lol! Haven't gotten back my English paper though.

But I got an A for PJK! 78%!!! Kekekekekkeke. Really just tembak correctly. Wow!

I'm currently placed 3rd in class.. I need to beat the 2nd girl by ONE miserable mark to get 2nd in English. Lol. Hopefully I do.

Whatever I get, I just thank God. He really helped me.. Especially with some subjects. I mean, considering how last minute I was, my results are good. And when you leave things to Him, you're never disappointed. It's true! Try it =)

Funny how different people can have different opinions of a same person. If you asked my piano teacher, she's probably say I'm stupid. Lol! Sad, but true. Better to act stupid when you're not willing to work, right?

And as for people who know my brother and I.. they obviously think I'm stupid. Lol. Another sad, but true fact. Shucks, what can I do? Compare mah.. I don't have medals and certs to prove anything. Of course I've badminton trophies.. but hey, who looks at 'em?! The academic medals are practically treasured, in a nice display shelf for all to see. My badminton trophies? Hahahaha. I found a couple deep in a drawer. Who looks at those?

Studies more important.. don't play badminton so much...

Sorry, I'm sick and tired of those words already. The one thing I like I can't do!

Oh well. I'm not here to whine and complain. Okay, maybe I am. But I can't help it. No one else will understand. Lol. At least my bloggy understands.

Life ain't too happifying right? It ought to be.. God's with me. Nevertheless, perhaps these things will toughen me up. Perhaps I ain't as tough as I think myself to be. Time to lower myself to the idiotic fool I am.

Went out with a couple friends with my brother today to mamak stall at 10pm. I.. don't know. I supposed I wasn't exactly a total 'stranger'.. but I didn't totally fit in either.

The rest of them knew about this and that happening.. but usual case lah.. I didn't know much, if anything at all.

It's kinda hard.. when you've members your own age, yet they aren't your friends.. and the older ones well, look at you as the 'younger one'... so basically you hardly fit in anywhere. I try to lah.. but tak jadi. Still feel out of place. I CANNOT pretend to get interested in talking about things that youth nowadays are gila over. I CANNOT adapt to their way of talking, their way of thinking and so on.

Some people say I've got an 'old soul'. Some people say I missed the train to teen years, some say I took the express train to adulthood.

Whatever it is, it's obvious that I'm different from your standard teenager. Friends say, "WHAT?! Not interested in boys yet??!"and stuff like that. Oh, by the way, I AM straight.

That's all. I'm tired. 1.03am here. Good day to you all.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

I feel SICK.

Oh my goodness gracious me. EEEEWWW!!!

Why?

I drank Higher Colloids. Few of you will know what that is, even fewer would have tasted it before. It was HORRIBLE. My family has been taking it for the past 2 weeks, but I didn't want to.. so this afternoon I was bored.. guess what I did? I tasted a drop of it, and wondered why people didn't like it. It was slightly sourish.

Well, then I drank 20ml of it, as I'm supposed to. BELCH! When it reached the back of my tongue where my taste buds are more sensitive to bitter tastes.. I nearly.. VOMITED.

Trust me, it took great self-discipline to finish that 20ml.

I drank Pepsi Twist after that, ate Honey Stars, Chicken biscuit, sour stuff, and whatever else I could lay my hands on. EEEEEEWWWW!

I've a headache now, feel like vomiting.. and goodness knows what else.

EEW!

*Goes off to comfort my poor tummy. OUCH! Rubs tummy*

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

I blew it. BIG time.

Why? Because people always ask me, "Why are you so happy all the time??? Why don't you ever get angry??"

I never really thought about the answer, and usually just give the answer, "Cause that's that way I am!"

I realised the reason. God is in me, and with me all the time. With Him, I've nothing to be happy about. Shout at me, abuse me, beat me, scream at me, nothing will get me down. Call me stupid, fat, ugly, idiot, fool, I don't care.

So I realisedthat I lost many many many chances to share my reason for happiness! Souls could have been saved...

In the end, I'm just another babbling fool who knows not what she says. Why didn't I THINK before I answered those questions??

Most of the people who asked me have stopped asking already... sigh.

~I'm sorry, Lord. A 2nd chance please??~

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Just had to post...

School's starting tomorrow. Sigh. Don't know why I'm not looking forward to school.. maybe because I didn't get to enjoy my holidays properly. Tournament 1st week, camp 2nd week. I enjoyed my holidays, but it was too busy to really feel like a holiday. If you get what I mean.

Just wanted to post something funny. During training my coach was telling us, "Look at where you hit the shuttle! Is it good, or bad? You have to judge for yourself!" He said the same to another girl, and followed by, "Was that good? No, it went underneathe the net, therefore it was very bad!"

LOL! Few, if any will laugh.. but I found it hilarious. LOL! In my coach's seriousness there was humour in it, perhaps he didn't realise it though.

Hehehe.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Youth camp

Youth camp in Kuantan last Monday to Wednesday. My family stayed on till today.

How did it go?

Was great fun. Hehehe. Did a lot of travelling though. Even went to Terengganu just to eat!!! I was like, "WHAT?!" when I realised we were travelling to another state just to EAT!

Lol. Went to the waterfall, enjoyed myself. The chalet by the beach was nice too, perhaps I do enjoy nature after all. I could have just sat and watched the waves...

Played Pictionary the 2nd night, till 3am. Wow. Fun. Lol. When the guys were going back to their chalet we looked at the main road outside and saw an ambulance + many cars though. We realised that there was an accident.. and probably some people died. Why?

The ambulance was in no rush, sirens were not on, only the lights. If there was still hope of saving a life, the ambulance would have sped off. Actually we all heard loud sound a few hours earlier, but since it was raining and there was lightning, we thought it was thunder. It did sound like a crash to me, but still I pushed that thought aside and told myself, thunder.

Sad though. Don't speed in the rain!

Overall, I enjoyed myself.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Hehehe

I enjoyed myself the past few days during the badminton tournament.

The kids were sooooo cute!!!! =D Some of them are barely taller than the racquets they hold! LOL. I'm talking about the U-10 players, of course. Wow. I never had the chance to join a tournament when I was their age.. hehehe.

But I pity them.. at such a young age they have to find out about losing.. there can only be 1 winner after all. Hehehe.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

It's Over...

Last day of tournament. So sad. Had great fun.

Anyway, singles I lost to her.. quite badly too. 2-11, 5-11. The first few points of the game were given away freely, no rallies at all. But by the 2nd game I did manage to have several long rallies. I got the service over quite a number of times, but didn't manage to score much.

Anyway, whether my standards are low or not, I'm actually quite satisfied with my match today, especially the 2nd set. The score may not show it, but it's what I know that counts, right? =P By the end of the game I was mentally exhausted. Lol. I cracked my brains to think and see how I could get points. Who ever said you don't think in badminton? Physically I was hardly tired.

I did discover my weak points, and plan to work on it as soon as I resume training.

Anyway, she turned out to be the champion of the U-15 girl singles.

I received a RSL badminton bag and trophy for runners up in U-15 girl doubles, and a semi finalist trophy + RSL shoe bag for U-15 girl singles in the winners pool. Received 2 30% off vouchers for RSL products too..except shuttlecock. Doubt I'll use it though.

There was a losers pool and a winners pool. Don't know why they had to put the word losers pool on the medals for the champs of the losers pool. Quite mean of them if you ask me.

Anyway, I've 1 1/2 years left in U-15 girls. As I walked off the stage, my coach told me, "Next time it'll be this," and he pointed at the champs trophy. Lol. Can't say anything.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

How it went today...

Today CP and I won our doubles game, gonna get silver. 21-7 I think.

Singles.. I'm frustrated.

First a BYE, now a walk over????! I didn't pay RM30 bucks for this kind of play!

So without even playing a singles game, I'm entering semi finals tomorrow. Sigh.

The girl I'm playing against was supposed to be disqualified, she's actually a Selangor circuit player. This tournament doesn't allow any state player/trainee. But after some discussion they didn't disqualify her, no idea why.

I don't mind anyway. If she had been disqualified, I'd enter into the finals WITHOUT PLAYING A SINGLE GAME! No thank you. Semi finals is bad enough, what more finals?

I'm kind of worried. I need to play my best tomorrow. I don't know, it's just a gut feeling. I've got to make her pathway into finals very very tough. It doesn't really matter whether I win or lose, if I win, good, if I lose, I wanna make her tired beyond tired.

Yes! I'm gonna do it. =D I need to be confident!

Anyway, today I watched many of the matches. Those with parents.. well.. are bound to go further. Their parents are so supportive! Dads even took leave for the whole week just to come for this tournament! Some families were practically 'camping' at the hall.

Those without parents.. well.. didn't strive so well. Honestly.

My coach once said we need several things to go far. Dedication, commitment etc. I basically can have all.. but parents support. And that was the one that he put the most emphasis on. I wonder how it feels like? Parents who are willing to fetch you for tournaments, stay there from 8am to 5pm, watch you play, encourage you when you just lost your service, proud of you when you win, correcting you without making you feel like the world's lousiest player...

I guess I'll never know. Oh well.

God, show me Your plan.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Doubles today..

Lost 10-21.

The score is disappointing. Sigh. We were actually leading 10-6 or 7, then we just lost it. 2nd half of the game they just scored and scored.

We got the service many many times, but it was snatched back just as quickly.

Well.

Tomorrow going to fight for 2nd place.

And my singles.. no idea who my opponent is, but I will do my best to win. =D

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Exhausted

Woke up at 6.50am. Went to Chow Ping's house after breakfast. Left her house for the tournament at 7.45am. Reached SK Taman SEA at 8am, waited for coach.

We reached the hall at about 8.40am I think. They had opening ceremony etc etc. Wasted my time.. all the speeches were in Chinese.. so guess what?

I pretended to understand. =D

Found out my doubles match was at 3.20pm. WOW. I had to hang around that hall for 6 hours doing nothing! After that, found out that my SINGLES match was a WALK OVER!

My goodness.

Plus the t-shirts they gave.. well had Chinese words. Lol.

Shucks. I'm not complaining.. much anyway.

Won the doubles game 21-2.

Time for bed. Sorry for the brief bloggy. =D Exhausted. Reached home at 8pm. I spent 12 1/2 hours nearly standing up all the time.

Enjoyable. =)

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

Oh for the want of a treadmill..

Sigh. I went jogging today. Really disappointing. Jogged for 20 minutes only. Why?

The dogs were all around, one started to follow me. I'm terrified of dogs.. so many have chased me. Sigh. I wasn't even breathing hard and I had to stop jogging!!!

At this rate my stamina will never improve. I am so angry. I wasted 20 minutes. Just when I was barely warmed up I had to stop.

I wish I had a treadmill. Why can't I have one???! I'm so angry I could-nevermind what I could say or do. I'd regret it.

Forget it lah. My badminton game will never improve. I'm stuck at my level.

Wish I had to freedom to buy a treadmill.

Oh for the want of a treadmill.

God bless
Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk

PS. I'll blog later on when I've cooled down. My monitor is acting weird.. changed to red colour.

Who Am I?

Yes, that is my question. How much do I know about myself? Let's start..

Well, I'm not really the kind to talk a lot. More towards the quiet side. Of course, close friends think differently.. but without close friends I'm pretty much quiet. I really don't enjoy attracting attention to myself. Those people who shout a lot, and talk loudly.. are well, pretty much attention-attracters. Nothing wrong with that, just saying that's not part of me. I do talk a lot sometimes though.. mostly when I'm extra-happy over something.

I'm different. I really don't enjoy shopping, wastes time and cash. Movies? I rarely watch the TV, much less movies. Cinema movies.. once or twice a year, and that too was a change.. since I've entered secondary school I seem to wach more movies in cinemas. In primary school it was practically.. once in 3 years? I can NAME you the movies that I've watched in cinemas before, that's how few I've watched. Godzilla, Mulan, Gladiator, Lord of the Rings(Forgot, either 1 or 2), Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Million Dollar Baby(most recent) and one more movie(forgot the title) that I watched in Penang when I was bored. That's about it.

I don't own any skirts/dresses, only my prefect skirt. I detest make up and nail polish. No, I'm not a tomboy(at least, I think not). I used to climb trees when I was young though. Really fun. =) Once I fell off a tree branch though, it was really too thin to support my weight, but I wanted the pretty flower at the end of it... let's just say I learned my lesson about climbing too thin branches. ;-)

No, I'm not proud to be different. Sometimes life would be better if I just tried to fit in with others. But I can't. I tried before. I find myself disgusted by some things.

I used to be an expert in climbing monkey bars. Hehe. In kindergarten, my teacher was utterly shocked when my hands just grabbed hold of the next bar, and next and next. I reached the other end in no time. That was the past. Now, I can barely complete monkey bars.. but still better than some who can't even go through it halfway. Now I'm heavier, slower but wiser. I think. LoL!

I walk home from school everyday. Actually, I take the LRT.. but seeing I'm on the LRT for 2 minutes, and walk the other 23 minutes.. I call it walking home. Yes, I suppose I can try to pay a transporter to send me home.. but I really don't like to be soo.. rigid. With transporters I'll have to wait for them to come at a fixed time.. or rush to ensure they do not leave without me. With my own two legs, I'm free to come and go as I wish.

Some people live by routines. Breakfast at 6.30am sharp. Lunch at 1.30pm sharp. Dinner at 6.30pm sharp. Not me. I don't even eat breakfast. My lunch.. well.. if I'm hardworking, I suppose I can have a fixed time for lunch. But.. I'm a bit lazy to find my own food at times. hehehe. I don't have a maid that will have lunch ready and cooked on the table by the time I reach home, unlike some really fortunate people out there. Or are they fortunate? Once they reach the working life.. well, I doubt they'll find things so easy.

Studies. Some people study everyday. Once a friend did a survey for the NIE project, asking everyone how much they study a week. Sad to say, I had to answer 0 hours a week. I was shocked, some people actually put 12 hours a week! Even 2 hours a week is a lot.. what more 12. I study 1 or 2 weeks before exam. Other times.. well. Actually, if you pay attention during class, you can pretty much answer the questions in exams. It's true. Teachers tend to set what they teach.

Oh yes. I managed to get 6 As so far. 77% for History, 83% for Geography, 88% for Living Skills, 81% for Math, 84% for Science, and 85% for Moral. Moral.. lol. I actually got 89% for it.. but teacher miscalculated. I HAD to tell her, otherwise I'd feel guilty about it. Honestly. Some people called me stupid for doing that. But I don't care. It's my choice, my marks, my guilty consciousness. I was afraid I might regret telling, but I find that I don't mind. Rather, I'm glad I did it.

I barely scraped through this exam term. Still, thank God for my results. Ain't that high, but considering how last minute I was, I'm really happy with my results.

Exhausted. Time for bed. God bless ya all.

Joanne Lim
Webmaster@joannetmj.tk