Update

I really don't like titles. Haha. Am always unsure on what to put.

Anyway, MUET results were out yesterday.

And I got....

*drumroll.....*

band.............

5. *sigh*

I missed band 6 by ONE mark. My score : 259.

Talk about frustrating. It's not about me doing better than others, it's just satisfying plain ol' me. And to miss band 6 by one SINGLE mark is utterly frustrating.

Breakdown:
Listening 38/45, Speaking 30/45, Reading 112/120, Writing 79/90.

Guess my examiners think I can't speak well. :-(

I could have done better in my essay though. It's just the gut kinda feeling. Listening.. let's be honest, I know I have poor listening skills, so 38/45 is good enough for me. =P Haha. I'm not happy over my speaking marks, but.. hey well, everything is final. (Yeah, all the 'if onlys' creep in when you're sooooo close to achieving something, but fall just a point short of achieving it).

As they say, an almost pass is STILL a fail. So an ALMOST band 6 is still a band 5.

Which is why I'm retaking the paper. =P Haha. Just for the sheer reason of satisfying myself. If I had gotten maybe 256, 255, or a bit lower, I daresay I would be happier. Ain't so frustrating, ya know?

When my teacher told the school photographer to take my photo of me opening the slip cause I supposedly had the highest score in school, I really couldn't pose a happy reaction for the photographer. :-(

Oh well. Nothing more to whine about, just gotta try my best in the next MUET exam. :-)

That aside...

So much has been happening in my life I really can't keep up, constantly running to keep up after my own life.

As I told my friends, I went for LYPG last week just to rest and pray with God. Constantly going to and fro home, school and hospital, staying home alone for close to 3 weeks now, it's tiring. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and at times, even spiritually draining.

As nothing remains hidden forever, the Kiwanis Down Syndrome Foundation(KDSF) teachers whom I used to volunteer with heard about my dad. So much for them thinking I quit my Kedah course for fun. Haha. Now they want to talk to me! I really don't know over what. Offer their.. apologies? Sympathy? What could possibly be so important that they want me to go over to KDSF on a non-teaching day to talk to them? I've got to summon the energy to meet them up. They want to see me this week but thankfully someone told them that I'm busy going to and fro the hospital for now. I want to let the news settle in them first, I think they'll be rather frantic for now. Haha.

I miss the KDSF kids. :-( But there's really too much for me to handle now..

Good news, dad will be discharged reallly soon. :-) I really really don't like hospitals. Too many people dying all the time. And we're not even in the palliative ward. I can only imagine the number of deaths in the palliative ward every day. Even in normal wards where people are supposed to recover but never do.. what more a ward where people are expected to die?

Well, each one of us will never know how much more time we have left on earth. (Though honestly speaking I'd prefer it I go after my parents, nothing more painful for a parent than to bury your own kids.)


1 Corinthians 15: 54-58

⁵⁴ So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”

⁵⁵ “ O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?”

⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. ⁵⁷ But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
⁵⁸ Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

So so so many people have been telling me to 'be strong', treating me like a really fragile cup. Well, I'm fine, after all, I've got a God who will never give me more than I can handle. And all that is going on is building me up for something more in the future. I don't know what, but that's what I was told. =)

Well, that's all for now. :-) Have a wonderful day ahead of you!

God bless you loads,
Jo