How many times do we look back at the past and were proud of what we had achieved?
I look back at my past and find almost NOTHING to be proud of, I find more things to be ashamed and bitter over, really. Sure, I got 12A1s for SPM. How did I achieve that? By studying hard and putting God aside. How did I get offered 2 prestigious scholarships? Frankly I don't want to answer this question. (Do you know you don't need God to excel/prosper in this world? This calls for a deeper discussion..)
Compromise. I hate compromising on certain issues, but at times you just feel like you HAVE to. There are a lot of what ifs I sometimes ponder. What if I had taken up that JPA scholarship and gone for brain-washing camps.. would I have compromised and raised my hands along with the Muslims in their 'doa'? When I first thought I was taking up the scholarship, I had the sick feeling in my stomach that I would be forced to do so, and if I didn't, my scholarship was at stake. I wouldn't exactly have gotten the backing of my family to lose that scholarship over an issue they consider 'petty' anyway.
Would I? Would I have been willing to lose a full scholarship, 3-4 years of free studying in Australia because I refused to compromise?
I've heard that certain NS camps force non-Muslims to raise their hands in the 'doa', whether it's true or not.. for now I've taken my stand that I'll refuse to do it when I go for NS next year. God grant me the strength to face the wrath of my NS trainers if they want me to do it. I've got nothing to lose if I refuse to do it in NS anyway.. I think.
Sorry for my random post today.
I wanted to go for FWP(Fast, Wait and Pray) today till Tuesday, but... I've been away from my parents way too much. Church camp, then with them away in Malacca, when they returned from Malacca I was off for MYPG that night, on Saturday I spent practically my whole day away from home, with LYPG and Youth.. today I had church and taught 2 friends accounts, only saw parents in the evening.. playing the role of an only child is really rather taxing. But one of the reasons why I left my TESL course in Jitra, Kedah was to spend time with them. It would be rather ironical if I kept running off and leaving them alone at home, what with dad's cancer and mom's worries and all. Dad's doing great, however. :-) Thank God for the number of prayer warriors out there praying for him!
I'm supposed to have 3 school projects this week, but so far no one has contacted me to meet up and work on it. And if they are expecting me to contact them and organise things, I really don't feel up to it. I need a break.. form 6 is exhausting and I really don't like my oppressive school (see what happens when power-hungry people are given power!). The only thing I like about school would be the CF. That's why Fridays are such wonderful days, I consider Fridays my weekend! Haha.
Oki, I'm off. I'm trying to study. :-)
God bless,
Jo
6 comments:
You are right.. I am not sure about NS camps, but in BTN, (Biro Tata Negara)they did force the non-Muslims to raise up their hands while reciting the "doa".
Had a pretty tough time during BTN. Had to hold my tongue on many occasions and I am glad that it is over.
How have u been? Hang in there aite..
Hey Free Soul,
Yeah, it's a terrible choice to make, to raise or not to raise. I guess, to keep your scholarship and to stay out of trouble, your compliance was needed.
I've been fine, :-) I assume you passed and will be going to UK? All the best there all right, and keep in touch.
Jo
The problem lies within yourself.. God is all around us, the act of raising ur hands in acceptance of God does not mean you are betraying your religion. I am not Muslim. But I do not mind doing that.
People like you stress on the importance of multiculturalism but you cannot even accept other religions, what type of fallacy are you leaving in?
Free Soul, there are worse BTNs. What you went through is a slightest of a fraction.
The owner of this blog, you may claim me wrong and disregard my thoughts but you are so wrong in your ideas.
Both of you people should realize where youre living in. If you really want things to be in your way, go to some deserted island and start your own religion. Stop being indulged in yourselves, open up and abit and accept the world surrounding you.
Anon,
It is an act of compromise. Will other religions join me if I raise hands worshipping God?
Don't get me wrong. I respect people of different religions. But do we have to be forced to lift up our hands to THEIR God for the sake of unity? There are boundaries, as in every case, and that boundary I choose not to cross.
I would like to see multiculturalism, yes, but only to a certain extent. I would not like to compromise on things that cannot be compromised(for me), and I will never force a fellow Malaysian to compromise on his/her beliefs. Forcing only brings to birth more hypocrites.
By the way, do identify yourself if you wish to criticise someone's opinion. 'Tis cowardly to hide behind 'anonymous'.
Hi Jo,
Yours very thoughts resounded in my mind some time back. Yes, really, there is no need to need God to succeed in this world. And that isn't what God is calling us to either. I get what you mean.
Lately my church's corporate Bible Study is focusing on Revelations, and the very same passage you took on the Laodiceans struck close to home. It's a poignant reminder indeed, that compromise can seep in slowly and worse, it can exist within a facade of "pleasing God".
Anon: Please do not hide behind a veil of anonymity. Why should anyone want to hide their identities while having the courage to say the things they did?
Mel,
I've been pondering over such thoughts lately.. so many questions, so few answers.
I hate compromise though. But sometimes our flesh is weak..
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