Focussing..

How long does a deep wound take to heal?

Does time really heal all wounds?

No, time does not. I know that for a fact.

I seem to be merely existing these days.

Abandoned some commitments. But if my heart isn't right, I'm taking a step back. Either give it my all, or don't give anything. No half-heartedness from me.

So tiring.

I wish... I wish.. gah, wishes are whims and fancies of a fool.

Help me please, Lord?

Of cults and heresies

Is it wrong to get angry and frustrated over some things that should be in the historical bin, yet appears out of nowhere time and time again?

It's agonising to watch and to be unable to do anything. Sure, I can retaliate, but it won't make a difference. So why bother?

Why are churches teaching its people to love and to be enslaved to money??

So much for being unable to serve both God and mammon.

Proof I love the classical guitar

I'm darned agitated now 'cause my guitar's D string snapped and I can't play it. Arrgh. I have an extra set but if I use only the D string of the whole packet it'll mean the other strings have to be exposed for dunno how long. Should have bought a set that didn't support saving the environment so much, and packed the strings separately. Oh well.

Guitar exam :-)

Had my classical guitar exam (grade 4) yesterday. :-)

How'd it go?

My scales went pretty well, no dumb dumb mistakes. My pieces were.. er, had minor slips here and there. It was a good thing the examiner was busy writing as I played Etude in E minor, because my left hand made a mighty slide.. right OFF the fingerboard. LOL. But I recovered quickly enough that there was no pause.. I hope.

Viva voce- understanding about my pieces and music in general, I think it went the best. It figures, doesn't it? The part I think I did the best in was worth the least marks. 7%. -_- Oh well. Haha. It so happened the day before I checked on Matteo Carcassi's background (composer for my 1st piece).. and was asked for his nationality during the exam! Lol. If I didn't know that it would have been awfully obvious that I hadn't done ANY study for that. =P

Sight reading.. Ok la, except I played my final note wrongly. BAD mistake. But it wasn't an obvious one, just an F that's a whole octave lower than the printed notation. -_- Blur moment. The guitar has too many notes la!

Aural tests- Haha. Screwed, to be put it crudely. :-) When the examiner laughs at you.. LOL. I've looked at the grade 6 aural tests, it's EVEN WORSE. Oh my.

Still, I felt good after the exam. My last music exam was when I was 14 (grade 6 piano), I think.. wait, I KNOW I've matured a lot since then. The way I handled myself, the way I continued playing despite errors, pretending to know a lot when I actually don't know much during the viva voce.. I used to give one word answers last time. =P The student that came out before my turn looked completely TRAUMATISED, before and after. When I went in, I found the music stand DIRECTLY infront of the stool, hence blocking the soundhole from the examiner. I think that's the most important part in playing the guitar, ensuring that nothing blocks the sound between your guitar soundhole and the examiner. To have forgotten that just speaks of how nervous that poor girl was. I think I used to be like that. Mmm.

My teacher said that I 'got good results' cause he talked to the examiner later. I'm just glad I didn't fail. Hahaha. If fail my first guitar exam then no hope to go on di la.. I put in more effort than my previous piano exams somemore. He said he won't tell me my marks till he sees the mark sheet with the comments.. haha. I'm scrambling my brains to figure out if I made any mistakes that he pointed out before.. =P

Mmm, maybe I should have told him ALL my blunders. Hahaha. But hey, the comment sheet has only that much space, not everything can be in.. right?

Will be starting grade 6 soon, looks like the guitar is gonna surpass and thrash my piano soon.. haih. The guitar requires so much more control and accuracy, yet I seem to be grasping it just fine, as compared to the piano..

Must put in more effort for my piano. Haha. If I drop out again, I don't think I'll pick it up again. -_-

Anyway, that's all,

God bless!
Jo

Churchified

Had a loong loong talk with a friend today.

She brought up the topic about how often times, Christians are so wrapped up in their own 'church world' that they simply forget about the (real) secular world out there. The innocent view they hold of their surroundings, friends, people, human beings in general... it's astounding, really. She was just telling me (innocently) of how much of a 'culture shock' she suffered when she eventually had to mix with the real world (which all of us have to, eventually, no matter how protected or sheltered your church attempts to keep you). Pornography, sex outside marriage, open relationships, lying and cheating for survival (and for fun), betraying trusts to fulfill your own selfish desires.. the list drags on.

Heck, it happens. What shocked me was that this friend of mine NEVER knew about it, and had the impression that such 'evil deeds' are few and far between.

Which brings into question, what is the church of today sheltering us all from??? Yes, we're not to be involved in all these. But to be innocent/naive of it all? Does the church really expect us to remain 'churchified' our whole lives?(Indubitably producing 'churchified' Christians whose lives merely revolve around their respective churches without venturing out would be the devil's greatest joy, me thinks.) Needless to say, it is impossible to remain within the 4 walls of the church for our whole lives. Aren't we supposed to be OUT THERE? Did Jesus choose to remain in some temple during His whole 33.5 years of living? Were all His followers found in a church/temple?

Frankly, I find this attempt to completely shelter rather dangerous. I've met kids who had parents who really protected them from the world. No going out with friends without proper chaperons, no watching certain types of movies, no reading certain types of books, no taking public transport, no walking... all with noble albeit paranoid intentions, I'm sure. But some end up as innocent as babies that they simply cannot penetrate the social circle when they leave their parents' nests. Or end up being conned by the less-innocent people. And some others? As the 'forbidden fruit law' goes, everything that was banned during the vital stages of their lives is suddenly indulged in greedily, without a sense of control. Of course this doesn't apply to all kids..

Likewise, a church who attempts to shelter Christians from all these 'worldly stuff' may just find her plan backfiring.

Or maybe, it just comes down to the nature of a person. Some just grow up innocent, others don't.

I don't know, really.

Still, good food for thought, eh? ;-)

God bless,
Jo

CV

I was asked to 'add abit about your family and your secret to achieve[sic] such good results' for my CV on Hari Kecemerlangan Akademik day.

-_-

What in the world am I supposed to add about my family??? My dad was warded in the middle of STPM, my mom was his full-time nurse, and I fended for myself the whole STPM year??

My secret is simple; God's grace. But I doubt they'll announce that on Speech day.

Wisdom, please, Lord.

Growing Up

To quote Soo-Inn Tan, "To grow up is to learn about the reality of death, about its power to take away the people you love, about its finality, about the sorrow it brings, and about the fact that it is the one sure thing about being human. Death is the human universal."

I learnt about death from a really young age. Some kids took funerals as play-play events. I remember the first funeral I attended, my grandpa's. I was 4 or 5 I think. Even back then, tears would flow. Somehow, at a tender age, I was gifted with compassion.

However, knowing the reality of death doesn't make it any easier to accept as I grow up. In fact, it seems just as hard, if not harder, each time.

So many things to do, hardly any idea on how to tackle half of them. I'm supposed to apply for scholarships too, but just too many things to handle.

I'm good as escaping. But I know I can't escape forever.

Aye. Growing up's awfully tough. It's times like these that I realise how useful my stubborn streak of independence is though.

This thought crossed my mind (random thought ahead!).. I've never been the kind of girl who lists down the top 10 criteria for my future husband. Ok, I've mentioned a few, but only in jest. Haha, ask me to rename them and I can't. Apart from not being afraid of lizards. ;-) Today I just suddenly thought, 'I want a man who makes me love God more.' That's it, such a simple criteria. But quite, quite tough to find. In order to get a man like that, I have to be a woman who makes HIM love God more. And in order to become such a woman, I have to start giving God His due place in my life.. my utmost priority in life.

Help me to love you more each day, Lord.

God bless,
Jo

Crap

This is harder than I'd ever thought it would be.

I ammm a....

DRUMMER now!

Hahahaha. In the process of learning, that is.

Church had a recruitment drive to train musicians, and I thought hey, why not pick up the drums since my timing is so awful? =P Maybe my guitar and piano playing would improve then..

Maybe, timing is related to math, which is why my Math and rhythm are both rather lacking. Lol.

The disadvantage of taking it up is that I can't practice on a real drum set at home.. oh well, more time for my piano and guitar then.

People ask why I'm taking up so many things. It's simple, I realised that I should never say I'm too old to learn new things, because in 5, 10 years time I'll look back and realise that I never was too old for it. I quit competitive badminton because I thought 14 years old was simply too old to make it far, although my coach tried to convince me otherwise. Boy, was I wrong. Now, I'm REALLY too old to make it far. I'm not making the same mistake with other stuff now! Haha.

Sooo tired. Suddenly developed a headache during drum lessons earlier, maybe I'm allergic to loud sounds? Hmm. But, but, drums are REALLY fun. ;-)

Anyway, yeah, life's been going on, just got back from CF camp, and.. yeah, like that lor.

Too tired to blog coherently, my apologies. Haha.

God bless ya,
Jo

I Love Ya

Dad had the MOST AWESOME funeral ever! Haha. No, seriously. Yesterday by 12noon, we had had 100+ visitors coming to pay their last respects, of all races (mainly his staff who were Muslims, as they would not be attending the Christian service). People who had lost touch with dad from schooling days were popping up from everywhere, those who worked with him 30 years ago appeared. Wreath after wreath was delivered, up to this morning, just before the funeral service. His current office chartered a bus to come yesterday.

Final wreath count was 34. Bro and I were saying, we'd prefer if 60% of the wreaths were converted to cash instead, these wreaths weren't cheap! But it really brightened the place up, and made it all flowery-smelling. haha. In between visitors we would constantly brainstorm on the best arrangement for the wreaths. :-) The wreaths were sent by individuals, churches, companies, government offices, and.. unknown people. We were puzzled with some of the senders, no idea what connection they had with dad, especially certain companies.

Today, when the white roses were distributed to everyone, there weren't enough. So they started pulling out white roses from a very beautiful wreath! There weren't enough umbrellas to go around too, many had to walk under the sun on the way to the crematorium. I don't know what my dad ever did to deserve such attention during death, but I'm proud of him. :-)

(Of course, the funeral parlour must have thought he was one rich man looking at the people and wreaths, they tried to fleece us. But that's another story.)

At night, there were so so many strangers to us who attended his funeral. Extra chairs had to be arranged, we weren't expecting so many. My mom estimated a conservative figure of 30 people to attend the service.

Because my contact number was in the obituary, I received phone call after phone call, sms after sms expressing condolences for the passing of my dad. Erm, and many had enquiries about the funeral details. Haha, my bad, I've never written an obituary before this, and I had to do it in a rush on Thursday night. When I saw the obituary I realised I forgot to add his age/DOB-something NOBODY misses out. Oh well. Young forever.

This morning, the pastor decided to surprise us by getting a 5-man band to play. Hahaha, this was really awesome. I've never been to a funeral with a band before, although I know some people do hire bands. It was a pleasant surprise for us.

And the funeral seemed to be a reunion for many people. People who came because they knew me/dad/mom/bro met up with THEIR friends who came because they knew my dad/mom/bro/me.

I've never felt so much joy during a funeral before, and I thank God everything went well. I may never understand why God took dad away when I'm not even (financially) capable of giving mom a comfortable life just yet, but I believe He has His plans that will work out for the best. Now I've got to learn the ropes to handling all the computer/internet stuff.. that's all I'll have to learn for now, I think.

I've been so busy with everything the past few days, when everything is calm again, I know reality will set in. I'm bracing myself for that. Things are like a surreal nightmare the past 3 days, and I think I'm still hoping I'll wake up from this bad dream. It'll take a long time to heal, I only pray that somehow God will heal mom's hurt quickly, there's nothing I can do to hasten her healing process. :-( She was such a wonderful nurse to dad. Whenever I talked to dad and asked him what he wanted, if he said he didn't want anything, I'll ask him if he wants mom, just to get him to want something. He always said yes, and I would joyfully call mom away from whatever she was doing just to please him. hehe. I know she would have loved to nurse him for another 30 years, without ONCE considering him a burden. But God answered our prayers, to heal him completely, or to take him home. Everyone, including nurses and doctors, were surprised at his rapid deterioration, but said despite his extremely weak state, it was amazing that he was not uncomfortable/constantly in pain.

You know there are decisions you regret for life, and decisions you will never regret. I decided to skip guitar class at 6pm on Thursday evening, simply because I knew mom wanted me around that day, after Hospice gave the news that dad simply had a maximum of 2 days. At 7.10pm, dad went back to be with the Lord, and I was the one who discovered he had gone off peacefully. Had I not been home at that hour, and been with my mom when we checked to see if dad was really gone.. it would have been a decision I would regret for life. (You should have seen the two of us, checking for pulse, breath, heartbeat..) The first thing that escaped my mom's mouth after we confirmed dad was gone was, "Praise the Lord! He went off so easily and peacefully, no more pain." Talk about faith!

Thank you, Lord, for perfect timing. No one but my dad would have the presence of mind to die in the midst of a pastor. LOL. The pastor went out to buy dinner for mom and I, and dad left while he was away, so we didn't have to make any phone calls when dad went off. We just waited for him to return, and told him. Then he handled EVERYTHING. All we did was inform some people, and the news spread like wild-fire. By 8.15pm, or thereabout, my house was packed with people. From family, to dad's friends, to my friends, to mom's friends. No one seemed afraid of a dead man, so many cried over him. Talking about perfect timing, we could have the wake on Friday evening, and the funeral on Saturday, so that those who wanted to travel from afar didn't have to take leave etc. Not to mention that when the Nirvana van came to take dad away, it was late at night (10.45pm cause people wanted to rush over to look at him one last time), so no nosy neighbours around. It may seem like sheer coincidences to you, but if you were in my shoes you'd really understand about perfect timing.

And technically, we were together as a family when dad went off. I was chatting to bro(who was waiting for the flight back to M'sia, he booked earlier that day cause dad was really weak) when dad left. Looking back at my chatlog, 7.08pm we were msning normally, 7.09pm he replied something, 7.10pm I told him dad stopped breathing.

The only thing I didn't like was.. the man lying the the coffin wasn't my dad. They shaved off his MUSTACHE.. I'd never seen my dad without it before in my whole entire life. My mom too. Besides that, his face just looked so so different. My first thought was, 'That's not MY dad!' But after scrutinising, I realised it was him.. it was the familiar ears, hair, eyebrows, and neck. But perhaps, it reminded me that what I was looking at was a mere shell, and dad's in the arms of our heavenly Dad. :-) The man in the coffin looked like a very young man, and really, I cannot see my dad in him. That's why I hardly bothered to look into the coffin, just glances here and there. I will remember him by the memories I have of him alive.

All in all, Dad just had the most awesome funeral ever, and I'm glad for him. Last night people were talking, and saying that those who humble themselves will be exalted. Truly, dad's funeral reflected that.

Thank you, to everyone who showed their support. On my part, my school teachers, schoolmates, classmates, friends, parents of friends, the KL/PJ LYPG, and of course, my beloved church. :-) I was surprised to see some of you, but that just makes the surprise sweeter. :-)

I'm not too sure how life will go on from now, but dad has ensured we'd go on living well enough, especially in terms of our relationship to one another. We'd always, always been a close-knit family, and this will come in especially useful now.

Guess dad let go of this earthly life without a fight because he knew we'd be all right by ourselves.

2 Timothy 4:7 says,

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Love ya, dad. Enjoy heaven, k?

RIP.. Nov 6th 1955 - March 4th 2010

Hey Dad,

Thanks for everything you did for me.. all of us. I may never learn why the Lord took you home so early, but I'm glad we enjoyed every single year we had with you. I'd rather enjoy 19 years with you than have a horrid relationship with you for 50 years.

I know God has a mysterious plan in all these, and I know you are in heaven, free of your pain. Haha, how's life without pain? =P

We're all right here, it'll take time to heal, but you've prepared us well. Ko and I are handling everything, no worries. :-)

The Lord took you away peacefully, one minute you were breathing, and the next you weren't. When mom and I confirmed you had left us, mom's first words were, "Praise the Lord!" cause you went off so, so easily.

The support we've received has been overwhelming, the house was full last night. Within 10 minutes, it was as if the whole world knew you'd left us for a better place.

Love ya loads & till we meet again,
Joanne :-)

P.S. Did you REALLY wait to hear my STPM results? hahaha, everyone has been saying that. Glad I've managed to make you proud!

"Are you sad?"

That's what someone asked me when we talked about my dad.

"No, actually, I'm ecstatic."

I give up lah.

Dunno whether to laugh or cry at that question.

Another question that riles me is, "Is your dad okay now? Can he walk around now?"

Look, if a miracle has happened, I'll let the whole world know.

The ex-members have been calling us up and declaring their 'love' for us after a whole year of silence. I don't know what kinda volatile love they seem to possess, but it's surely not the kinda love Christ has.

I still wished I'd grew up in a normal church. Haih. Nothing like an experience in a cult to make one bitter.

I thought it was all dead and gone and behind me, until they suddenly seem to be calling and appearing from nowhere. They seem to know everything about us, and I get an uncomfortable feeling about that. I'm glad they know I got 5 A's though, just to let them know that God did not forsake me when I decided to leave them.

I'll have to do a study on the true meaning of 'forgive'. Forgiving and forgetting definitely does not exist. But does forgiving mean I allow them to intrude back into our lives, and report everything that goes on back to him?

These people are wearing me out and hardening me. The next time they show up at my gate, I'm not letting them in. It's stressful for my mom and I, so why allow them in? Besides, I've been labelled a rebel in their eyes, may as well live up to it. ;-)

I sound frustrated, I know. I am. I hate it when the past which I've worked dog-hard to bury suddenly comes alive again, in the form of zombies.

I love you.. I miss you.. My FOOT lah.

You may still be reading my blog, I don't know. For all I know, this blog could be feeding you all the information that you seem to possess about my life. Please, just leave us alone, k? I don't know what you want, and I don't need to know either. Live with the fact that people who leave MT are all growing and maturing (though nursing hurts and bitter hearts may not be easy, I know we'll eventually recover from it).

On a happier note, I played basketball for the first time in my life today. hehehe. I felt remarkably short! Ah well. Haha. Good exercise though, but I'm not aggressive enough lah. Truthfully, give me a non-body-contact sport anyday. Haha. My body ain't meant for the physical brutality these team sports seem to require.

God bless ya,
Jo

STPM results

:-) :):):):):):):)

3 A (Lit, PA, Business), 2 A-(Econs, History). To make it sound nicer, 5 As! =P

I was surprised I got an A- for Econs as it was one of my strongest subject + easiest in STPM, goes to show that the standard in STPM is a don't play play standard. Haha.

On the other hand, it was a pleasant surprise that I managed to get an A for Business (my Achilles tendon) and an A- for History (after the disastrous exam).

All glory to God, it was really, really, an uphill battle in the midst of STPM, with dad being hospitalised and all. Without Him...

Nearly every phone call that came today asked for results, and at the same time, about my dad. So it was good news + not-so-good news.

But my dad was really happy to hear my results! :-) He wasn't hallucinating today, so he smiled. :) Feel so happy for him.

Thank you, God.

White flag

I've got so so so so many things to think about that I'm completely utterly absolutely stressed! Ignore the tautologies please.

Can't focus either. Sigh.

Demons from the past seem to be popping out from nowhere, and it's causing me undue stress. :-(

The sheer hypocriticalness of people whom I used to love shall never cease to astonish me.

Bah. Who needs them.

Would you believe it, my mom forgot that my results would be out today, and my bro didn't even KNOW until a few hours ago that STPM would be out on the 25th Feb.

And to imagine that results used to be a source of anticipation for my family. Haih. So much has changed in so short a time.

My aunt was diagnosed with multiple myeloma(MM) today(yesterday? it's past 12 midnight). She's my dad's brother's wife. My uncle always comes to take care of my dad, his lil' bro mah. Now... he'll have to take care of his wife.

In addition, the prognosis for MM is not good, and there is no cure for it, only trying to keep it under control.

I don't know about life lah. :-(

I'm too young for this pile of crap.

Sorry about my crude language.

It'll be good to return to my heavenly home. But to go first would be completely selfish to my dear family.

I'm tired of thinking. -_-

I give up lah.

Dad, see the white flag I'm waving? I'm asking for a truce, please? One thing at a time, okay?

Heartbroken

Heartache :-(

I found a new scratch/dent on my lovely (classical) guitar today. I always, always check its beyooootiful body, and all along there has been this tiny, tiny, scratch/dent on it that's unnoticeable unless you look at it at a certain angle. But the one I discovered today was obvious, and I can see it from a meter away! :'-(

I'm not sure how it came about, probably when I handled it carelessly just one time because I wanted to carry it with a lot of other things. :-( I felt so so frustrated and angry over it (and myself) as I played it.

Haih. I'm really sad over it, everytime I see it I touch the dent, hoping it really isn't there.

Ok, I'm being dramatic. But it's true, I'm really, genuinely upset over it. My beloved has been permanently damaged. :-(

My guitar exam is in Bukit Bintang.. I have no idea how to reach there by car. But I will need to drive, since I'll be bringing my guitar along.

Before I've even taken my first-ever guitar exam, my teacher is asking me if I want to take a higher grade exam after this exam! Talk about palpitations. Back in those piano-exam days, I used to begin preparing for an exam about 6-8 months before the actual exam. Now I've barely been given 3 months to prepare for my guitar exam, with so many new things to learn. Just when I thought I've gotten a hang of an exam piece, my teacher adds in new styles/techniques to make the piece more 'interesting'. Then my playing becomes all 'stucky' again and I've got to painstakingly work on mastering seemingly impossible techniques till they become smooth again. -_-

Haha, I love the guitar though. :-)

I must admit I enjoy playing the piano, but my piano teacher is treating me like... a grade 6 student. Which is tough, especially for the theory part, because at times I find my brain scrambling to catch on what he's attempting to teach me. Tonic, supertonic.. I think they are basic theory stuff, but I've left that all behind. The only reason why I'm managing to (vaguely) understand the theory he's teaching me is due to the good ol' guitar. Hahaha. We're doing chords now you see, so at least I can easily identify chords on the piano. Bring in words like subdominant, dominant, 1st position, etc etc and that's when the brain scrambles to dig through its historical archives.

Still, I believe it'll take time to refresh this rusty brain of mine, and who knows, I may someday love the piano as much as I love my guitar. :-)

Ok, it's a verbal diarrhoea post today, just felt like blogging. :-) Forgive me if you knoweth not a thing about the music mumbo-jumbo I posted, but hey, it's my blog. =D

God bless ya,
Jo

Agitated

Feeling a bit stressed up now.

STPM results will be coming out this Thursday, 25th Feb.

Just found out my guitar exam will be on the 31st of March. -_-

Haha, put this combination together and I'm having so many butterflies in my stomach I can hardly sit still.

God bless,
Jo

2 Deaths..

According to Rhys' Wide Sargasso Sea, there are always 2 deaths. The real one, and the one everyone knows about.

I always thought I understood it, but now I really think I understand it.

Lagrima (Teardrops)

I learnt to play a new song today. On the classical guitar. :-) Lagrima, by Francisco Tarrega. It's such a simple, and yet lovely song.

Haha, I spent so much time learning it, painstakingly. It's not altogether fluent yet, needs a few more hours of practice, but it's just such a lovely song.

I'm supposed to be practicing my exam pieces.. but I heard this song on youtube and just had to learn it up. Precious hours that were supposed to be spent on my exam pieces were instead invested into this sad, yet lovely song.

But I feel happy. Hehe. I'm indeed beginning to really enjoy playing the classical guitar as I find my left-hand's index finger becoming stronger and stronger as I barre with my other fingers in all sorts of positions.

First time in my whole life I stayed back in PJ during CNY. I was astounded when I saw the empty roads and closed shops, it's a sight I've never seen before in my area.

It's been an okay day.

God bless ya,
Jo

The more I ponder over it...

The more I feel like studying English Literature. To study novels, plays, poems, etc. would be something I really, really, really enjoy. -_-

Most unfortunately, however, I am also a fairly pragmatic person.

In terms of human capital, I'll be a more useful citizen if I take up Law or Economics, or even Business.

SIGH.

Not to mention that scholarships are offered for Law, Economics, Business, and other more 'useful' subjects. English Literature on the other hand...

Head vs. Heart. Logic vs. Emotion. Practicality vs. Desire.

haha, never imagined I'll be stuck in such a rut. I've (usually) always followed my heart/emotions/desires before this. Taman SEA over Sri Aman(better school), badminton over squash(way easier to win competitions), Arts stream over Science stream, TESL over Law(so many called me stupid over this), home over UK(I was either labelled noble or stupid-most times it was the latter)...

Back then, however, it wasn't so close to the 'final decision'. Now I'm so close to the end of my studying life, it's gotta be the 'right' one.

It's not as if I get some kinda high from 'swimming against the tide'. It's just that I'm not a conventional person who desires to follow a conventional path.

Question is, would taking up a conventional path be more rewarding in the end?

Listless...

Feeling lazy and unmovable lately. Mmm. Have not played badminton in weeks despite getting invites from here and there. Just feel.. lazy?

Before I started posting this entry, I was just sitting around doing nothing. As in, NOTHING. Staring into the wall. Mom commented that she has never seen me doing absolutely nothing before. Hahaha. So I decided to blog. :-)

Nothing to blog about though. So this post is effectively a complete waste of time. LOL.

God bless,
Jo