"Are you sad?"

That's what someone asked me when we talked about my dad.

"No, actually, I'm ecstatic."

I give up lah.

Dunno whether to laugh or cry at that question.

Another question that riles me is, "Is your dad okay now? Can he walk around now?"

Look, if a miracle has happened, I'll let the whole world know.

The ex-members have been calling us up and declaring their 'love' for us after a whole year of silence. I don't know what kinda volatile love they seem to possess, but it's surely not the kinda love Christ has.

I still wished I'd grew up in a normal church. Haih. Nothing like an experience in a cult to make one bitter.

I thought it was all dead and gone and behind me, until they suddenly seem to be calling and appearing from nowhere. They seem to know everything about us, and I get an uncomfortable feeling about that. I'm glad they know I got 5 A's though, just to let them know that God did not forsake me when I decided to leave them.

I'll have to do a study on the true meaning of 'forgive'. Forgiving and forgetting definitely does not exist. But does forgiving mean I allow them to intrude back into our lives, and report everything that goes on back to him?

These people are wearing me out and hardening me. The next time they show up at my gate, I'm not letting them in. It's stressful for my mom and I, so why allow them in? Besides, I've been labelled a rebel in their eyes, may as well live up to it. ;-)

I sound frustrated, I know. I am. I hate it when the past which I've worked dog-hard to bury suddenly comes alive again, in the form of zombies.

I love you.. I miss you.. My FOOT lah.

You may still be reading my blog, I don't know. For all I know, this blog could be feeding you all the information that you seem to possess about my life. Please, just leave us alone, k? I don't know what you want, and I don't need to know either. Live with the fact that people who leave MT are all growing and maturing (though nursing hurts and bitter hearts may not be easy, I know we'll eventually recover from it).

On a happier note, I played basketball for the first time in my life today. hehehe. I felt remarkably short! Ah well. Haha. Good exercise though, but I'm not aggressive enough lah. Truthfully, give me a non-body-contact sport anyday. Haha. My body ain't meant for the physical brutality these team sports seem to require.

God bless ya,
Jo