Ok, my take on love, rather. Like individual personalities, every relationship is different.
What's there to say, really?
I was never one to have an ideal idea about love. Heck, I was a skeptic on relationships ever since young. I've always told others, better to be happy single than unhappy married to someone you cannot live with. (And this is something I still believe in. Don't simply marry the next guy proposing to you!)
When Joash first started chasing... I didn't run. Well, not very hard, anyway. =P But I DID wait for him to lose interest in me. Like I mentioned, I was a skeptic on love.
2 months - Eh, he's still interested. Hmmm. (And so am I!)
3 months - Hey, this guy IS serious after all. (Maybe I can actually hope for a future with him..!)
And yeah, blablabla, well, suffice to say, I'm no longer that much a skeptic on love. As I've learnt, relationships need working on to constantly move forward, and although it may be challenging at times, (when you're all stressed out or facing some serious attack of PMS... Females, BE WARNED.. In fact, I've a theory that most guys are probably dumped at the height of their gfs' PMS. LOL!) a healthy, happy relationship makes everything worth it. :-)
Ideals for the perfect guy/gal... I hear it all the time... no such thing. Guys and girls are wired very, very, very differently, so to expect someone of the opposite gender to live up to YOUR 'perfect' standards is basically rubbish. Sure, standard characteristics like gentlemanly, polite, responsible etc etc are good standards to uphold. But every responsible gentleman has his flaw, just as every female has PMS. (Oh my, what a comparison.)
You ask me honestly what every relationship MUST have to survive, I think the answer is straightforward and simple.
LOVE.
Don't ever settle for someone who doesn't love you. And don't ever settle for someone you do not love. It'll be unfair to yourselves, your future children, and all those who will be affected by your turbulent/stagnant relationship.
In a relationship where there is true love, both parties will work hard to please each other and resolve conflicts. Both parties will try to change for the better if they truly love each other. Most importantly, two people who truly love each other will thrive to bring out the best in their relationship so that each other is happy. And it's easier to love more when you're happy! =D
And no, love isn't instant. Starts with interest, getting to know each other, liking each other.. and deepening the relationship if both parties are willing to risk their hearts for one another. Couples I admire are couples who have been through all the obstacles that life can provide and still emerge victorious, together.
A teacher whom I respect very much once told me never to go after a guy who is currently in a relationship. If he dumps his current GF because of you, what makes you think he won't do the same to YOU? Something I agree wholeheartedly with. I've got little respect for guys/gals who dump their partners for someone 'better'. Barring that the relationship was already undergoing massive troubles which can't seem to be sorted out. But dumping someone for someone else 'better' is just plain disgusting in my eyes. If you disagree, hey it's MY blog. ;-) You may stop reading right here.
Another thing I'm against is going back to the person who dumped you. Heck ya this may be a touch idealistic. But I am. If the person who dumped who 'fell out of love' with you once, why won't he/she do it again? Why grovel your way back to their hearts? For how long? Once a trust like that is broken, it's hard to mend it back properly. It's something I told Joash quite early on... I told him that if either one of us dumps each other, obviously one party isn't worth the other no matter how much it hurts (your guess: dumper or dumpee ;-)).
Don't get excited, no one is dumping anyone here. Haha. Just examples. :-)
One thing I'm grateful for is that I've never been heartbroken. I cannot imagine the pain and anguish heartbreak brings, and trust me I'm in no hurry to experience it. ;-) Up till Joash, I've guarded my heart so very carefully, even paranoidly, I've never had to experience heartbreak.
Final parting words... don't be in a rush to find someone. But at the same time, don't be afraid to explore. ;-) While you're single, go out with whoever and whomever you wish, you never know whose hidden gem (within) your once-blinded eyes will be opened to.
Final finally... don't ever play with someone's heart. When you're talking about relationship, you're talking about a person's heart. Someone who has entrusted you wholeheartedly with their heart, and if you decide to crush that heart there'll always be a permanent scar on that heart. Don't give away your heart too quickly, hold back with caution until you're pretty darn sure the person you're about to give it away to can be trusted to love and treasure your heart for life. No guarantees in life, but being cautious is always safer. :-)
With all that being said, don't listen to me, really. Hahaha. Maybe in 30 years time I'll look back at this post and laugh at the sheer idealistic and ludicrous ideas I had. ;-)
However, being the young, innocent and hopeful 20 year old I am right now, as of today, I've absolutely no qualms about declaring that I'm very much in love with a man (who incidentally just smsed me accusing me of 'kutuking' him in this post! HAHA!) who spends his days working very hard towards OUR future. :-)
A man who strives to do well in studies, to build a successful business, a man who loves God, his family and mine, who lacks sleep nearly all the time because of work & studies, and who loves me for who I am. What more can I ask for? :-)
Actually, I'm asking for a lot of things. To teach me to ride a motorbike. For him to get more sleep. For a nice long honeymoon to some beautiful island. For the flexibility of being able to work at my own leisure next time. hahaha! Aiyo, so demanding la..
Naw I'm not that demanding.
Love keeps us both more than happy. =)
Haha, it's late and I'm exhausted. Have a blessed day!
God bless,
Jo
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