=)

So excited.

STPM's gonna end so so so soon! :-)

Hehehe.

I'm surrounded by stressed-up people lah. -_- And and I can't seem to feel the stress. *sigh* No drive to study non-stop.

One friend told me, "God must hate me. I only go to Him for help." Well, just keep going strong in our Lord, friend, even after STPM.. :-) A strong, close relationship with Him is an awesome one!

I'm putting on so so so much weight lah. -_- No exercise, eating non-stop.. *sigh*

Bro's coming home! How to study after that? =)

And and and.

Today during some assembly where the teachers give their speeches to 'motivate' us STPM and SPM'ers, I wanted to study a bit, so I went out of sight of the teachers. They were standing on the 1st floor looking down at us you see, so I just went underneath them. Then then, suddenly, "Joanne, Joanne!" I looked around. "Up here. This is the voice of God speaking from above."

-_-

HAHAHAHAHA. It was one of my favourite teachers laughing at me.. from above. She must have seen me going out of sight. =)

Hehe. Love most of my teachers loads. :-) Can talk to them about anything. And they are such fun. The ones I like, I mean. There are some out there I beh tahan, but the ones who don't emphasise on a distinct line between student and teacher I like.

I remember one time last year, when a discipline teacher, but a very nice one, was talking to me. She just took a chair and sat down in front of me talking to me about.. stuff lah. And I was SMSing some friends before that, so while she was talking I was so so worried my phone would vibrate(in my desk). But it didn't. :-)

Anyway, I'll miss my teachers when I leave school, but I won't miss school. Hehe. Comes a time when one just has to move on lah, and school rules/regulations is just plain incongruous with one.

God bless,
Jo

:-(

I've been having these bad tummyaches after meals lately. I don't know why. When it started I thought it was because I overate. So I watched what I ate every meal after that, but it still results in stomachaches.

*sigh*

Used to have this problem when I was young, up to about standard 6? But it went away and never came back.. till the past few days.

I spent some days lying down because it's so bad. :-( And I'm suppose to be studying, not stomach aching. :-(

Gotta be wise about my food now though. I think it's because I stopped eating 'unhealthy' food for quite a while, many months? and one day caved in to temptation and stuffed myself with Ramli burgers and fried oysters and everything else.

*In pain now*

On the other hand, God is awesome awesome awesome!

I asked Him for something. And... I got it! :-) Like, awesome. Better than expected. Hehehehe. The way Solomon asked for wisdom.. :-)

Of course, He's always awesome. :-) Love Him so so much!

God bless ya,
Jo

Pondering...

Had a relatively stressful day yesterday, with all sorts of things piling up. And most unfortunately, STPM wasn't part of the stress pile. Oh well.

And it was dad's birthday yesterday! Sadly we didn't do anything, mum was busy with some meeting and school dinner, I was.. what was I doing, actually? I had guitar class.. a lot of sleep time (I tend to sleep a lot when I'm stressed I think, helps to wile away plenty of time). Then I was so stressed up I wanted to go for prayer in church (it helps oh-so-much!). But even then I had to find dinner for dad, ended up ordering pizza since he wanted it. And I thought I'd wait for it to arrive and pay for it etc before leaving for church, but PIZZA HUT WAS LATE. They came after 50 mins! Not the usual 30 mins. Left the payment and collecting of pizza to dad after pacing around waiting for it to arrive for so long. Cancelling that order would have meant I'd need to find some other kind of food, so I didn't.

My sincerest apologies for rambling.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about faith lately, particularly, the Christian faith.

Do we (2nd generation of Christians onwards) hold on to real faith? Or do we hold on to our PARENTS' faith?

When I talk to many Christians, most of what they utter about Christianity is stuff that has been indoctrinated into them. Never once have they thought to question their faith. Which, of course, is not good. When trials and temptations come, such blind faith, merely imitating all we've been taught, will crumble.

Thinking aloud now.. bear with me. This is mostly to do with Pentecostalism, the faith I grew up with.


Which part of the Bible tells us we cannot drink wine?

Which part says we cannot smoke?

Which part says no gambling?

Which part says about being slain in the Spirit?

The list goes on and on.

Truthfully, I cannot seem to find Bible verses that tell me about the questions I've mentioned.

If smoking is so evil because it can destroy our body.. isn't eating unhealthily, leading a sedentary lifestyle just as dangerous? Why do Christians abhor smoking, and yet find other ways to destroy our bodies? Do we have a right to condemn smokers if we ourselves our destroying our bodies in other ways??

To us 2nd generation Christians (onwards), the Holy Spirit, God, and Jesus-the 3 in 1 concept is accepted unquestioningly. Which is why it's good to talk to new believers, or non-believers about such things. They tend to ask questions which force us to think, and oftentimes, we find ourselves answerless. Of course, there is the argument that a too-intellectual faith is dangerous. But if we were to blindly memorise and recite all we learn without actually thinking about them, that renders us no better than.. than some other type of faith.

Why did Jesus teach us to forgive, and yet the Bible also speaks about 'an eye for an eye'?

It's time to let go of blind faith, and to embrace genuine faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. :-)

Oh man. I'm supposed to be studying, not pondering over such things. Growing up is toooough! But I enjoy it. :-)

God bless ya,
Jo

Of MUET and life :-)

Took MUET today... attempting to aim for Band 6 again..? I think quite fail lor, haha, I found speaking and listening easier, but reading and writing more difficult. And and seeing reading and writing are both worth so so many more marks as compared to speaking and listening..

Oh well. No harm retrying, I suppose..

Slept my afternoon away, woke up for lunch.. just after I finished lunch, I suddenly saw a few of the youth standing outside my house. -_- Lol, talk about surprises. And they were singing me a birthday song! Hmm.. wrong month. But but their 'stress-free kit' is really awesome! Food + card + 2 stressballs that smile just like me! =)

Well, it sure did perk my day up, and I've got the motivation to study. I think. Lol.

One of them said, "We can really see the difference between the SPMers and STPMers."

So I was thinking (with my sleepy look and all) that she meant STPM was waaay harder than SPM so we looked like we were working harder and suffering more.

"The STPMers are like 'ah whatever lah who cares'."

LOL. So much for me thinking some noble thoughts about how 'hard' I've worked thus far.

You destroy my reputation lah Wai Yan! If you were not playing just before they visited you they would have thought I'm working hard too. :-(

Oh well, thank God for nice people. :-)

4.5 weeks more to FREEDOM! :-)

Tanggal hari ke-sembilan... bulan dua belas, kosong sembilan.. merdeka, merdeka...

Bejeweled time!

Then study. ;-)

God bless,
Jo

Contemplating...

About my future. :-)

I really don't want to go overseas..? Although so so so many people are pressuring me to do so, what with the government sponsoring you if you get into a good university.

-_-

Is a paper degree worth so so much? So what if I can get into some renown university? (Okay, it's probably worth gold.. to others.) But I don't wanna work so so so hard on my studies! I'm so lazy laaah. :-( I only study hard in school because there are no distractions, the moment I'm home I do everything else. Piano, guitar, tv, facebook, internet... I really try to study, I do.. but.. I think I'm hyperactive or something lah. Haha. Itchy butt syndrome.

I wanna pick up as many skills as I can while I'm young, so I wanna stay right here. Plus I don't think I should leave home, not right now, not in the years to come. Gotta see how things go.. but for now, I feel I'm needed here.

But what if I regret in 10 years time.. and wished I'd gone to some prestigious university? (Although I still don't regret rejecting JPA and MOE's scholarships..)

What if?

I don't think I will lah. Haha. I don't know, really.

God, show me your will... and grant me my heart's desires?

God bless ya,
Jo

Hello :-)

I'm bored of studying. -_-

Because my subjects STILL require last minute revision anyway. Even if I finish my History books today, I'll STILL need to rush through every single detail the day before my paper.

So.

What's the point???

Haha.

Eng. Lit... give up laaar. -_-

Wait wait, cannot give up. Too close to the end to give up.

No drive/motivation to study lah. In form 5 I had lah, I wanted a scholarship.

Now I just want a place in the nearest local U. Mmm. Which I may not get even if I'm the top student in the whole country because of our country's odd odd education system.

So.

What's the point???

haha.

Ok ok, I should study and leave the rest to God.

Mmm.

Bored lah.

-_-

3 weeks away!

I can't believe I'm 3 weeks away from STPM. That I'll be applying for university soon.

I'm in a semi-conscious-dream-like state. LOL.

Mmm, so much has been happening when I should be concentrating totally on my studies.

But I don't really mind.. I'm doing my best, leaving the rest to God. :-)

So so so many plans after STPM. :-)

Hehehe. No, I won't sleep my time away like after SPM. I've been given another chance to enjoy 8 months of complete nothingness, and I'm not gonna blow it this time.

One question people ask me, and others are afraid to ask me (but oft times I can see the unasked question in their eyes): "Do you have any regrets?"

My answer: "No. I'm not a person who feeds off 'regret-fullness'.. and I believe whatever has happened has been used to mould me and my character by my heavenly Dad. Everything that has happened since then is kinda like a snowball effect, and I would not be where I am now if not for all these."

Only recently have I realised how glad I am I chose the Arts stream in form 4, despite misgivings and attempts to sway my choice by so so so many people at that time. Despite the culture shock I had to go through (haha, you try lah, coming from 'good' classes all the way to one of the last classes in the form).. I learnt to loosen up a lot since then, and have only studied when it truly matters ever since. Lol. Monthly tests and homework usually forgotten. Ok, that part isn't so good I suppose, but.. when it doesn't matter.. =P

Oops, I'm getting random. Oh well. :-)

A while more!

God bless,
Jo

=)

Had an awesome weekend. =)

Really, I did!

Especially Sunday. Haha. =) Went for a teacher's open house, then went out with friends, did 3 new things:

1. Lepak for ONE SOLID HOUR. As in, doing NOTHING. Like, NOTHING. Not talking, not eating, not ANYTHING! Just standing around. Haha, not so enjoyable, this part.

2. Karaoke, not too bad.

3. Gaming. Now, this one I really liked. =P Hahaha, for once, my 'sure die one sure die one' was literal. In the game, that is. :-)

Reached home at 12.45am, but I stubbornly wanted to go to school so I took a bath, went online a while, then slept.

Aye, it was a good weekend. Good fellowship, good friends, no studying, what else could be better?

But with STPM less than 4 weeks away, that was extremely bad timing. Hahaha.

Hence, I shall.. er, cut down my play time, and increase my study time from now onwards.

Did I mention cutting down my sleep time too? I sleep a couple of hours all the time! As in, maybe an hour in school, 2-3 hours after school, 1 hour at night, another 4 hours before school. -_-

Haha.

God bless,
Jo